Well, I guess this is it. In less than three hours, I am going to kill myself via nonstop, furious masturbation with a plastic bag tied around my head. After autoerotically asphyxiating myself, I plan to die covered in my own spooge from head to toe. I'll probably end up yanking my dick off I'm going to masturbate so hard, but who cares? Hey, if it breaks off, I can fulfill a lifelong dream before I die: sucking my own cock!
I hope all you fellow trolls remember me each time you squat and push out a big, stinky one. Egg troll, Fecal Troll Matter, Vladinator, Trollaxor, Fucky the Troll, Archie Bunker, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, the whole spork crew, and even that rat-bastard page-dilating Klerck: I'll always remember you! (Ever after I'm dead and jizz-covered.)
Michael, may you burn in hell. Timothy, Jamie, join him, please. Jon Katz, keep up the juicy-douching! CmdrTaco, lighten up on the Taco-snotting, it isn't good for you. Homos, CowboiKneel, Roblowme... eh, fuck you. I despise you so much I can't even think of a good insult for you.
Oh, and one more thing. I'm not J'raxis. I don't even play him on TV.
Goodbye, cruel Slashdot!