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Submission + - Iranian News Agency Says The U.S. Is Secretly Run By Nazi Space Aliens. Really. ( 1

cold fjord writes: The Washington Post reports, "On Sunday, the hard-line semi-official Fars News dropped one of its biggest bombshells yet: The United States government has been secretly run by a "shadow government" of space aliens since 1945. ... The alien government is based out of Nevada and had previously run Nazi Germany. ... the controversial NSA programs are actually a tool for the aliens to hide their presence on Earth and their secret agenda for global domination. ... President Obama is said to be a tool of the aliens, though anti-alien factions within the U.S. government are fighting to topple him. Their present aim is to install a global surveillance system that will ... allow them to finally impose a one-world government and enslave humanity. The best part ... is the sourcing. ... The progenitor of it all, of course, is ostensibly NSA leaker Edward Snowden, who has waited until now to reveal that the real reason for all those NSA programs is aliens." ... there's also a more serious undercurrent here. A worldview that sees the U.S. as an evil hegemonic force so irrationally driven toward global domination that it must be run by space aliens is not a worldview that is predisposed toward negotiation or accommodation." — More at Forbes and Foreign Policy. Nothing at The Onion.
Christmas Cheer

Submission + - Santa's Naughty/Nice list compromised ( 1

An anonymous reader writes: Reports from the North Pole have confirmed that Santa's Naughty/Nice list has been compromised.

The list is said to contain the name, stocking address and naughty/nice score (the child equivalent of a credit score) of every child on earth. Absent from the leaked data is the "What I want for Christmas" list which is said to be stored in a separate database.

PlayStation (Games)

Submission + - Unemployed playstation owner goes aggro. (

Ardx writes: When Darren Suchon used a car as a battering ram against another car driven by his girlfriend, Colleen Frable, it wasn't a simple case of road rage, or love gone awry.

It was a crime of passion: for his PlayStation, that his live-in girlfriend had taken in anger over all the time her unemployed beau was spending on it instead of trying to find a job.

In a last ditch attempt to get him off the couch and onto a productive path, she took the PlayStation to work Friday.

Bad move.


Submission + - Ahmedinejad Tells UN 'US Responsible For Sept. 11' (

JordanL writes: "Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad triggered a walkout of U.S. and other delegates when he suggested in a U.N. General Assembly speech Thursday that the United States government staged the September 11th, 2001 terrorist attacks. President Barack Obama had sounded a conciliatory theme toward Iran in a General Assembly speech earlier in the day, saying major powers still want dialogue with Tehran over its nuclear program. "Second: that some segments orchestrated the attack to reverse the declining American economy and its grips on the Middle East in order to save the Zionist regime," said President Ahmadinejad."

Submission + - How NOT to do a news aggregator upgrade (

Blackhalo writes: "What a SPECTACULAR train wreck. I don't really want to look, but I can't tear my eyes away.

"The news page on Digg, and particularly the Technology category, is currently plastered with links to discussions and images posted on rival Reddit instead. That’ll bring Reddit some traffic this morning, but more importantly it’s a bit of an embarrassing situation for Digg."


Submission + - Drunken Employee Shoots Server (

Target Practice writes: A drunken mortgage worker at RANLife Home Loans decided for unknown reasons to take out the company's $100,000 server with a .45-caliber automatic, blaming the damage on an imagined assailant who: mugged him, assaulted him with his own weapon, drugged him, and then broke into his office to shoot said server. According to acquaintances, he had threatened earlier that day to shoot the server and then himself.

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