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Comment no media campaign nor massive advertising (Score 1) 71

That was the decision of , no not the CEO, but the Prime Minister of North Korea. The resulting headline Kim Jong Un shoots down Samsung's plans was definitely more agreeable and PR friendly compared to Samsung comes up with a Big Bang which was perceived to be taken literally by the smart phone crowd, which turned out be be smarter than average after all.

Comment Studies Show Testosterone *declassified* (Score 2) 130

The studies were conducted by military doctors in a MASH unit, but it was more than just lining up field personnel to give them so-called malaria vaccine or STD protection (penis-sealin' as the privates continued testing their privates on the unsuspectin' infectin' whores)

The Rolling Stones were visiting, and one of the surgeons concocted this scheme just to get a private performance of Mick and the band in the MASH unit "to lift the morale" of the wounded.

The Stones were knocked unconscious and the testosterone shots were administered, with their consent and the patients being witnesses. The Stones were going to go public with these unofficial tests. Unfortunately Altamonte happened, and the rest is history. When they tried revealing the test results, it was drowned out by the media wildfire from Hells Angels at Altamonte.

You can make this shit up.

Comment That is only HALF a discovery (Score 1) 141

The other half should be more of a concern.

New Zealand has long been using this submerged landmass to conceal an impressive stockpile of 20 megaton nuclear missiles.

At this point, experienced journalists should ask:
a. Where are those missiles aimed?
b. Who has access to the button that launches these missiles?
c. How many warheads are in that stockpile?
d. How big is this submerged landmass? (How long have you known, etc)

At that point, I guess none of this stuff matters. But fault all the Slashdot eds till the cows come home, but when it comes to stuff thast matters they absolutely nailed this one.

Comment I stand alone (Score 1) 21

The rest of the world can go buy these things, allowing these so-called "content creators" make more clips to make you even want to buy MORE of their stuff, or their shiny accessories, or their gizmos.

I'll just take the single serving, thankyouverymuch. Because Mr. anti-social here is NOT the contents of his wallet, nor his khakis.

Comment Re:Why do people not understand (Score 1) 55

I was about to get me knickers all bunched up over this, and similar issues, until I read a former editor (the great Rob Malda himself) state what pretty much summed up the utter lack of editorship in Slashdot. It's in the FAQ linked down there at the bottom; I find it relatable to suspension of disbelief. At the moment though, we're the junk fighters, holding out our hand to try and stop the assault, with the hyphens and dashes suspended in mid-air

Comment Ritual gathering places, indeed (Score 3, Funny) 147

At certain hours that were preannounced through the week, the local townspeople would gather round these so-called meeting places and show off the tinier stones and rocks that they have collected prior to their arrival at the area. When the warning horn has been sounded, the townsfolk would grab as many of these rocks as they can in their fists, and await the first of the drones. As soon as the first one is spotted, the populace would start casting their rocks and stones, without giving a damn about gravity's tug and its sometimes painful consequences. Not many of these drones returned, nor have any been spotted since.

Comment Re:FP! (Score 1) 82

But seriously, if we want to stem the destructive tide of propaganda and fake news, then we may just have to shit-can the corporate overlords who have turned /. into a foothold for the russian troll army

RTA?

"overlords who have turned /. into a foothold for the Russian Troll F***ing Army"

RTFA, bitchez! FTFY (fixed that for Yuri, as in you reading this bolshoi right now

Comment Now this plant will build the robots (Score 1) 594

Musk was wondering where to build the plant that will eventually build robots that will soon populate his plants with the prototypes with production programmed into their protons.

Now he knows where to start. Note to self: No man will ever have to train his replacement. Ever. Not on my watch.

Comment I have a smart watch (Score 1) 406

It runs ONE app, called e-pants.

A simple app that beeps to remind you that you are outdoors and you are not wearing any pants

Most of the time, the cold breezy weather should be a good indicator. For the other times, the smart watch will do just fine.

Other times, flashing lights of red and blue, accompanied by speeding black-and-whites and lots of finger-pointing, are good fallback indicators, but these are noisy and can ruin one's day.

Comment Their biggest mistake? It's one point oh not TEN (Score 1) 498

And MS is new to this. They have released a version of their long awaited Windows, and being extra careful, they want to make sure that when 1-dot-oh hits the streets, and boots itself in your sleep, you will wake up and find your coffee and PC ready and waiting for you to start.

What do you mean it's TEN? Oh, wait...

(Head quietly explodes)

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