If it has a "mute" button and can make sandwiches, that is even better.
The deluxe version will squirt beer.
I once crossed into the US in a tiny crossing, way out in the woods.
As we were 4 hours into a 12 hours drive, we stepped out of the car. Since we were the only car, all the officers were out, one for each occupant of the car.
I was wearing a fanny pack, and “my” officer asked me what’s in there. “My money and papers and keys” (back then, we did not need passports to go in the US). But I handed him the pack, and he looks at the wallet, then hits the small change compartment. While he was running his finger through the coin, he made the face that you expect from an old pervert would do while sniffing out used japanese schoolgirl panties. The only thing that wasn’t there were the drooling sounds, but maybe I didn’t hear them because I wasn’t really paying attention for that kind of thing
These creeps are seriously fucked-up in the head.
I outlasted him in the company.
I was never “good enough” for my parents. Always short of this, or short of that. So, of course, I got to think that I wasn’t that good
On the first serious, full-time job I had, where I was the first guy hired by that startup, I was pretty amazed to see many people hired after me getting fired not too long after, until I was poached by one of their clients So I guess I'm not that bad, after all
(And the startup closed after one of the owners went to jail for selling nuclear technology to some exotic country full of good-looking, nice brown people who make very good food).
Had me fired that day because I would not let him into a server room without a badge.
I am sure you will love this story
My boss was out, so the founder told me to go to a client’s and bring back their dot-matrix printer (this was long ago) so we can fix it.
So I head to the client’s, 50 km away. Over there, I look at the printer, and diagnosed the problem and fixed it in 10 seconds.
I then test it, show it to the client, who is totally thrilled.
I go back to the office.
— Where is the printer, the big (but not mine) boss asks?
— Oh, I fixed it over there, to the customer’s satisfaction.
— What? I told him we would bring the printer here! Now he’s going to think we can’t keep our word!
And this is the story of when I stopped giving a shit about my job.
When the company folded 2 months later, I did not give a shit either. And I was glad to no longer having a 3 hour commute.
1 1 was a race-horse, 2 2 was 1 2. When 1 1 1 1 race, 2 2 1 1 2.