Wow, you got a lot of dishonest stuff there yourself. So lets start by addressing the first one.
Under Obama, we stopped counting people as unemployed if they gave up looking for a job.
Can you provide some citations for your claim? Because the only thing I recall being change was Obama making our unemployment tracking MORE accurate, not less. Here's my citation (and select quotes):
"the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), beginning Saturday, will raise from two years to five years the upper limit on how long someone can be listed as having been jobless."
So it used to be after 2 years someone would stop counting against the unemployment figured, and during Obama it was changed so that they continued to count for 3 years more. The only affect that would have is to INCREASE the unemployment figures and make Obama look worse, but they did it anyway to be more accurate.
"Stacey Standish, a bureau assistant press officer, says the two-year limit has been used for 33 years."
So the previous 2 year limit (which I had often heard as attributed to Bush 43, but never looked up myself) apparently goes back to Carter (1977)