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Submission + - No Slashdot April Fools Jokes in 2008 8

An anonymous reader writes: Slashdot will not be participating in the April Fools jokes this year due to a lawsuit that was settled out of court with undisclosed terms stemming from the 2007 April 1st stunts. The false stories were determined to be too egregious by a yet to be named individual. Slashdot's parent company SourceForge, Inc. found it wiser to settle out of court then a lengthy battle that was obviously going to span several months.

The ponies will be missed.
It's funny.  Laugh.

Submission + - Researchers Create Ball Lightning Gun

I Believe in Irrational Property writes: "Vladimir Dikhtyar and his team at Tel Aviv University in Israel have managed to produce a new non-lethal weapon which fires ball lightning. After testing it on willing participants, they dubbed it the "Ball Blaster." Said one participant, 'It hurts like hell, but you're back to normal in a few minutes with just a few scorch marks and some numbness. Oh, and the less said about how they came up with the "ball blaster" name, the better.' They create the effect by discharging a bank of high capacity capacitors through a Tesla coil coupled with a maser and a reloadable tube of nitrogen dioxide and silica. The downside is that you only get off one shot per capacitor bank and there are leakage problems which prevent you from storing charged capacitor banks for too long. They're also working on magnetic 'armor' which can block the ghostly projectiles. So far, though, they do not have a theoretical understanding of how the gun works. It is hoped that further study of how the device works will unravel the mysteries of ball lightning.

[Ed: Sorry, still one last joke article for tomorrow. This would be seriously cool were it real.]"
It's funny.  Laugh.

Submission + - Microsoft Building Emacs.Net ( 1

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes: "In a move sure to reopen old internet flamewars, Microsoft apparently plans to build something described only as "Emacs.Net" Brought to light in a Microsoft employee's short and cryptic blog post, little is known about it except that it's some kind of "development tool / IDE / text editor" though that hasn't stopped ZDNet bloggers from speculating wildly. Hopefully, whatever they make will be able to open files larger than 64 KB — it's not enough for everybody."

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Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this-- no dog exchanges bones with another. -- Adam Smith