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Comment Re:I swear (Score 1) 180

Sorry, sparky, but you don't get to travel for business if you're making $9/hr.

As a Best Buy employee who is entering his sixth year of community college, I have to prove you wrong. I got an all-expenses-paid trip including a 3-night stay in a hotel and food allowance when I was in charge of the photo lab at another shit-job. Also, I beat you up in high school and get more pussy than you do.

But what does this all have to do with Israel? Jews are some of the worst customers a retail monkey will encounter.
+5, informative

Comment Re:Grumpy (Score 1) 558

coprolalia

copro- [prefix] dung, excrement, feces
-lalia - combining form denoting a condition involving speech

With this prefix and suffix, we essentially have "the talking of shit; shit-talking." In my experience, this has a more specific (and generally more condemnable) meaning than the mere vocalization of vulgarities.

Further, (in my opinion) the suggestion that saying, for example, "fuck that," is comparable to shitting out of one's mouth, well that's straight-up bullshit.

Comment Re:Bad things to say about chiropractors? (Score 1) 130

"A male masseuse"?
Isn't that what Julius Caesar said to Pompey before crossing the Rubicon?
I think that's crossing the line already.
As soon as the masseuse starts saying he has magical healing abilities and can cure illness then he will begin to attract disciples and followers. Of course, "masseuse" will have to be changed to "carpenter" later, to appeal to a broader customer base.
Carry on.

Comment Re:Computers run on smoke (Score 1) 154

...In addition, incantations, a chicken, a bowl, and a sharp knife may be necessary.

USE KNIFE ON CHICKEN
You carefully cut the chicken into stips, removing gristle and fatty tissue.
PUT CANS IN BOWL
What cans?
TAKE CANS FROM SHELF
You take the cans of Rotel and Cream of Chicken from the pantry shelf.
PUT CANS INTO BOWL
You open the cans and mix them into the bowl.
PUT CHICKEN INTO BOWL
You carefully lay the chicken strips onto your mixture.
COOK THE FOOD IN THE BOWL
Using your +15 Cookamancery Skill, you cook the food for 45 minutes at 450 F, garnishing it with shredded cheese and bread crumbs. You lose 50 Hunger points and 15 HP in the process, and gain 25 Cookamancery skill points.
*You gained a level!*

Comment Yes, Ban Dihydrogen monoxide... (Score 5, Funny) 794

The banning of the use of dihydrogen monoxide (also known as hydric acid) in the preparation of food would be an excellent admentment to this bill. Yes, I know what dihydrogen monoxide is. In our lab at my previous place of employment we even had a material safety data sheet for it. Check it out here Dihydrogen Monoxide Research Division.

Comment Give us a choice (Score 1) 794

Look, most of the processed food, from caviar to sausage, from cheese to V8, all have salt in it.

When people go to a restaurant, they are tasting salt...A good cook know exactly how much salt to add to the cream sauce and tomato sauce, gravy and soup. Why would I go to a restaurant if I have to add salt myself?

Most of all, if you do not like salt...just tell the cook...'No salt please'....

Or better...go get a head of lettuce and chew on it.

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