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Journal FortKnox's Journal: The Grossest Poll Ever 29

Sorry to steal a page from Em, but I'll do my own poll. Please keep in mind that this poll includes potty talk, so if you are easily offended or have a weak stomach, go ahead and ignore this poll. Otherwise:

You have 3 choices, no other (the 3rd choice is the cop out).

If you had to choose one, which would it be:
A.) You have miserabe digestive cramps (like keeps you up all night in agony) 2 or so times a week with the nastiness that entails (eg: going to the bathroom).
B.) You have a remedy to A.), but causes almost constant bad gas (ie - there is a green cloud around your cube).
C.) This is too gross, and I ignored your warning and voted anyway cause I need to feel included. :-P

Which would you choose?
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The Grossest Poll Ever

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  • I would just take massive doses of Beeno or something.....
  • I'd use my explosive Ass powers for Awesome.

    Would you?
  • @ least I wouldn't be the only 1 to suffer through this. If I'm suffering, then I'm taking everyone down with me. ;^)
  • If it's a choice between me suffering and others suffering, I'll take the remedy, any day...
  • Try it, man. :)
    • giving up food? Damn man... I'm ITALIAN! I can't just give up pasta and such. What's the book title and stuff? I'll at least read up on it... see if it'll convince me.

      Stupid gas causing fiber... bleh.
      • Actually, I was about to step in here and tell you to do what Sam's doing. He already did though. Seriously, you should consider it. He's been doing really well for over a month. As far as giving up pasta goes, I suspect you could make your own wheat-free pasta or something that would be ok.
        • Thanks, Liora. It's at least worth a shot, FK. I have *some* gas now, but before I didn't have gas. Or if I did, I had to watch out. You may do okay just cutting out some things. I think I healed so quickly because I have such a mild form of colitis, but I'm sticking with it because I'd like to see if I can't fully knock it out.

          Go here [] and at least just read up on the whys of the diet. Beginners section is good, then try the legal/illegal list.

          You might be Italian, but you might also have to give it up

      • "Breaking the Vicious Cycle: Intestinal Health Through Diet" by Elaine Gottschall

        I think the book's pretty convincing but when it comes right down to it, the thing that makes you change your behaviour is not a good scientific explanation (which the book does provide) but deciding that the pain caused by the old course of action is greater than the pain caused by the new course of action. So you sorta have to be "desperate enough" to try this (i.e. even if you decide it's not for you now, if the pain of you
      • Well short of going the StB route (and I'm with you 100%, I love my carbs) you might want to try eliminating processed foods, corn syrup, and fast food from your diet. I'm not on any diet per-se but I haven't been eating these things much in the last 6 months or so and I feel much better overall. Not that I have any major digestive problems other than acid reflux.

        Most people don't get enough fiber in their diet, unfortunatly if you are getting enough fiber you are going to be much more gassy than someone e
        • Water, water, water.

          From 2001 until last year, I was quite dilligent about drinking water instead of soda. Sure, I had a soda every couple weeks, but I said dilligent, not fanatical. I felt great! As someone who never had a weight problem before, my sudden shift from warehouses to a desk job had me gaining. I lost around 15 pounds without making any other changes to my diet, habits, or lifestyle. At first, it was work, but after a while, the water began to taste good, and I didn't crave/miss the oth

          • I'm fanatical about my water. I drink way over 64 oz. per day. I haven't had cola in so long my throat burns when I think about drinking it. I feel a lot healthier now that I've been drinking water exclusively (over a year now).

            And FK, I'd choose B if I had to.

          • the better half is not very disciplined with beverages, nor does she care to be.

            That sounds familiar. I'd swear you were me, but you're not having employment issues and work from your house. ;)

            This is also good advice, FK. Maybe start with the water and see if that doesn't help.

            • Au contraire, Mossherree'
              Hell, I dunno any French.

              but you're not having employment issues and work from your house.

              That's actually WHY I work from my house; the same company laid me off 2x in 2 years. ;) Well not quite, but it's an uninteresing story.
              And while I learned April 15th that there are some benefits to working from home, aside from setting one's own hours and being the boss, etc, if I find another admin job in COS, I'll seriously consider it.

              BTW, bring her to Elitch's on Sunday, and I'll

          • Water, water, water.

            Ah yes, this is my problem, I really have to remind myself to drink water. Not that I'm drinking soda (icky corn syrup filled crap), coffee is my daytime poison of choice. No, I have no plans to give it up any time soon, acid reflux be damned (the coffee will go only after I switch to a low-carb, low-fat, low-sodium, vegan diet).

            In any case I've noticed when I'm drinking enough water I tend to have less problems with acid reflux, gas, eat less, and otherwise feel better.
  • This has only one possible answer: B.

    Besides, the isn't that gross.

    If option B would have been something like "You have a remedy to A.), but you have to eat babies weekly," then it would have been pretty gross.
  • because then people would stay the *fuck* away from me while I'm at work, TRYING to write code. Just imagine it:

    End-User: My printer wont w -- [crinkled face] -- er, never mind, I'll go ask Mike.
    Me: bwahahahahahahahaha
  • Just cook up a BIG batch of 1) curry and 2) stinky fish (salmon or somesuch), then alternate your lunches. No one will ever notice the green gas.
  • Go with B, but get some of that underwear that deodorizes farts, or rig up your own with some activated charcoal and duct tape.
  • by ces ( 119879 )
    But since I have a fairly high-fiber diet (not intentionally just the foods I really like are high in fiber) I'm already there.

When Dexter's on the Internet, can Hell be far behind?"