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Journal FortKnox's Journal: Kill all the.... DBAs!! 19

That's right. What's wrong with the IT industry? Foreign extrusion (jobs getting shipped to India)!

Where did it all start?

Database Admins!

DOWN WITH FOREIGN KEYS! All the keys should be primary and exist in the US! Ask any DBA! They'll say "well, in any relational database, foreign keys are absolutely needed." My mouth dropped in awe. He actually not only supported, but said it was NECESSARY to use foreigners! Go ahead, ask your local DBA, but don't be surprised when he comes up with the same conclusion.

So I'm starting a new movement. A movement to NEVER use foreign keys... a movement where all the primary keys exist in the good 'ol US of A. Join me!

And don't EVEN get me started on the Offshore tables....
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Kill all the.... DBAs!!

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  • Did someone forget his ridalin today?

  • (I mean blood and guts and veins in your teeth)
    (you will not kill)
  • celebrating your recent induction onto the Troll Blacklist?
  • by mekkab ( 133181 ) *
    Thats why I insist on 3rd Normal form. Nothing fancy, just normal.
  • It's how capitalism is supposed to work.

    First all the low-paid manual (making t-shirts and shoes) and semi-skilled (making TVs and cars) jobs get exported to third world nations to exploit low paid workers and non-existant labour laws, then the skilled (IT) and service industry (call centre) jobs go there too.

    You weren't complaining at Gap last time you were there because their clothes aren't made in the USA were you? You haven't been writing to Nike's CEO to question why their shoes are made in some Far-
    • Umm, it was stupidity mixed with an ounce or sarcasm and a jigger of humor.

      Was just meant as a joke to laugh at....
      • Yeah, I know it was meant to be a joke but, let's face it, there's a serious side to this whole "foreign programmers stealing our jobs" thing that I felt I had to vent my spleen about. Perhaps this JE wasn't the best place to do it though. Sorry. Mea culpa.
    • It might be time to ask that CEO why he makes 50, 100 or 500 times as much as you do, awards himself a big fat pay rise and healthy stock options then decides that you and your colleagues are expendable as long as it helps drive the company profits up a quarter of a percentage point.

      I'm just waiting for the CxO types to start getting outsourced to India as well, instead of the $40 million/year CEO we'll have the $40,000/year CEO.

      In all seriousness expect the outsourcing to continue and accelerate to incl
  • I tried to kill all the foreign keys on our databases. I figured the computer is smart and I'll just tell Linux to "killall foreign keys" but in accidentally hit the enter key....

    I don't know what happened but I quickly became a very popular DBA.
  • MySQL rocks! No foreign keys, no nested selects...

    Only snobs use PostgreSql, MSSQL, Oracle...

    • But you are wrong, MySQL does indeed have rudimentary support for Foreign Keys. And nested selects too if you are far enough on the bleeding edge.

      Am I a snob?

      YEP! And I'm PROUD of that fact, buddy! :D
      • The default PHP-kiddie engine doesn't use FKs, so NYEH! :P
      • But you are wrong, MySQL does indeed have rudimentary support for Foreign Keys.

        With 4.x foreign keys only come into play with the InnoDB database type and only when "ON DELETE" is used. So you can have a whole bunch of rows *poof* out of existance if the key they depend on gets deleted, but foreign keys aren't enforced during inserts.

  • On my web site, all the heavy lifting(updates) are done on the offshore tables so we don't upset the native tables, which serve only at the presentation level(selects).

    Yes, I admit, we are massively exploiting our offshore tables, but truth be told, the natives won't stoop to do the dirty work the offshore tables perform!

    Sad situation, I know, but whatty're gonna do?
  • That is some funny crap! I am now pasting it to a text file and printing it out. It will be making the rounds to all my dba buddies. Sweet. Thanks.

If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.