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Comment It's better now (Score 1) 322

Having to wait to save up cereal labels and then wait a month or two for an action figure in the mail was a complete pain in the ass. Where as now you can often sign up for something instantly and have your freebie in a fraction of the time.

I think the only reason my limited edition action figures are still sealed is because I couldn't be fucked to play with them when they came what felt like a year later.

Comment Invention of the Future contest... (Score 1, Funny) 128

...First prize: a mountain bike made of diamonds.

I already made an invention for the future, I made that reverse microwave!
I need to put freon in it to make it work. It makes ice so fast and makes beer icy cold and pizza too hot makes it a little colder so you don't burn the roof of your mouth.

Also, as practical inventions go, there's the garbage juicer. How it works is quite incredible. All you do is take garbage out of any old garbage bag, and when the lights go on you're ready to go.
The first tap is kerosene. You can use kerosene to burn your sweet mama's panties off.
The second is root beer. Great for Friday night pizza parties.
Last but not least grapefruit juice.

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"You stay here, Audrey -- this is between me and the vegetable!" -- Seymour, from _Little Shop Of Horrors_