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User Journal

Journal Journal: Ah, the Life of a Computer Techie

For some reason, out of the blue I started getting a whole bunch of computer work. I've worked on 3 computers in the past two weeks, all of them have been hell. The first one was a coworker's laptop. I first thought it was infected with MS Blaster because she would randomly get a message from RPC stating that her computer was about to shut down. So I thought I was doing the smart thing and printed up a summary from Trend Micro on MS Blaster and its variant. It told me to locate msblast.exe in the list of processes. Great, nothing. So now the shutdown message comes up again, I issue another 'shutdown -a' from the command prompt (basically an abort shutdown command.) I started killing process, a lot of them gave me a "Access Denied" most likely these were System Processes so I didn't bother. Then I noticed one process that wouldn't die, it was called 'svchos1.exe'. Every time I killed it, it would disappear and reappear within seconds. So my solution? Rebooted into safe mode, renamed the 'svchos1.exe' to 'svchos1.exe.worm'. Rebooted and *bam* no more shutdown errors. I was pretty proud of myself, seeing I haven't messed with a Windows machine in months. Now I was going to get online and do some updates, coincidently her SBC DSL connection was dropping packets like no other. I decided that she should bring it to work and I would do further trouble shooting.

I brought it to work and it worked fine. Installed Norton Antivirus, updated it, updated Windows. I went through about 5 reboots. Scanned the HDD for bad sectors, defragged the drive, anything I could think of. I did about 4 full system scans because the first time around it found about 8 viruses. Everything seems fine, but I know exactly what will happen when she takes it home...

I emailed her about a week ago letting her know the deal. Basically what will happen is she will plug it in and her Internet will not work. She will of course call me and I'll let her know exactly what I said in the email I sent her, call SBC.

So, on to Computer #2. Computer #2 is my friend's roommate's computer. Basically it got infected with a virus and caused all the fonts to be a dingbat-ish display. So you cannot read anything and have to navigate by icons (and since I have minimal experience with Windows XP, this isn't too fun.) I tried changing the regional settings, nothing. Tried scanning the computer for viruses, nada. All this, while the font is all garbled. I tried changing the font and it would work in the preview pane, but Windows would not save the settings. I noticed something, there was nothing in the Fonts folder. So I copied fonts from a different folder, made changes in the Display Control Panel and *bam*, everything was back to normal. ...or so I thought. I let my friend know that the computer is fixed. He takes it home, only to receive a phone call last night that it's doing it again. Now I have this metal piece of shit in my living room, untouched.

And now Computer #3, oh how I curse thee. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. My sister's old AMD K6-2 350MHz was giving her grief and I no longer wanted to deal with it. I recommended some parts from Newegg and she bought them. So now she has this fairly sweet system. Her friend helped put it together but could not get Windows installed. I went to her house and got it to install, I got random BSODs and random reboots. I checked the CPU temp, no issue there. Disabled thermal protection, still reboots. My sister's friend applied more thermal paste with no luck. I gave up and told her to bring it to my house and I'll work on it. ...oh god. What a pain. I listened to my girlfriend and tried replacing the memory with a DDR stick from Greg's computer. That got me running fine. I tried to do a Windows Update and the godforsaken page wouldn't load. The network connection icons magically disappeared. I said 'screw it' and decided to install Windows 2000 Server because it is much more stable than Professional. I had the same issue, I installed some free AntiVir AV software and it detected LovSan. Mind you, this is a fresh install (I'm really starting to hate Windows right now.) So I listened to my girlfriend again and did a zero fill. Installed Windows 2000 Professional, immediately installed PC-Cillin (which came with the motherboard), did a AV update, did a scan, and updated Windows. No problem, none whatsoever. For shits and giggles I updated the BIOS through Asus's GUI tool (which is MUCH nicer than that scary DOS shit.) When the computer rebooted I got a strange beep and the computer wouldn't POST (sweet Jesus, this gives me nightmares, I've toasted a BIOS before.) So I turn off the computer and turn it back on again, I get a checksum error, set the correct settings in the BIOS, do a reboot and no errors. Everything seems fine, so I decided to download memtest86 and test out the RAM. The program worked great, it found about 444,444 errors. So I try the Corsair my sister bought (which didn't work before), did a memtest and it only had 5,000 errors. Somehow the Corsair didn't work before the BIOS upgrade but I went ahead and tried it afterwards. No random reboots, installed Office, and kept the computer on for 2 days. The CPU temp stayed at about 107F and had no reports of errors. I'm ready to give the computer back to my sister, we'll see what happens.

Overall it hasn't been too bad. I've learned more things about working on computers, the two main things I've learned though is a) listen to your girlfriend, especially when she is smarter than you and b) The newer computers get, the more problems they have. You would think there would be less problems, but this isn't the case, go figure.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Whore-ray for MyDoom

(Dealing with MyDoom in tech support) + (25th Hour) + (Me being bored) = (

Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole technological world. Fuck innovation and claiming to make the world a better place, I'm still working 8 hours a day in a fucking cube farm! Fuck endusers and their constant pursuit to fuck their own computers up and blame it on you. Fuck consulants who claim they are Novell Certfied. Don't you realize Novell Certification is worthless just like you? And don't get me started on Microsoft vendors, Must Call Someone Else, does that mean anything to you? Fuck Bill Gates and his multi billion dollar company that can't keep the menus in the same fucking place with every new version. Fuck Windows XP and its plastic Playskool theme, how the fuck can you call that an upgrade? Fuck Code Red, fuck Blaster, fuck MyDoom, fuck worms and sk1p7 k1dd13z, don't you have anything better to do than "hack" already crippled code? Crack a 2048-bit encrypted DSA key and then I'll call you "1337". Fuck Apple and their hippy "MacHeads", beret wearing, latte sipping snobs that don't know shit about computers, but think they're artists because they have Photoshop installed. Fuck BSD and its "rape me in the ass, steal my code, and take all credit" license, you're every corporations favorite bitch. Fuck Big Business and sending every Americans' job to India, how bout we outsource your lard ass? Capitalism can kiss my royal, Dutch ass!

No. No. Fuck you Paul. You linux GPL socialist zealot, you dumb fuck!);

...yea...I'm lame

User Journal

Journal Journal: **No Title**

Sometimes your life goes against the current, sometimes amazing things happen, sometimes...you meet the girl of your dreams. A glitch in the Matrix so to speak. After about a decade of want, want for someone to befriend, to hold, to love...it just happens. You have no idea why, but a part of you doesn't care, doesn't think...just loves. It goes completely against your philosophies, your mindset of the opposite sex. I never knew females could be humans, but Lena proves this. Not only can they be human, they can be even more. She has been amazing, every second I spend with her, makes me forget about all the bad things that have happened that day. Nothing can outweigh the happiness I have with her.

I look back at my journal entries and I noticed I was right, the only thing stopping me from having a girlfriend was me. I could of decided to never talk to her, wallow in my own self-pity, but I didn't. I made an attempt, and I actually didn't get rejected (which is pretty much unheard of.) Although it couldn't come at a better time, all the girls I've asked out or tried to make an attempt to, do not compare to her. It's like I was intentionally rejected by girls that didn't mean much only to be accepted by someone that means so much to me. She is beautiful, she is awesome, I love her.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Breaking News: Paul is the Luckiest Man Alive

I admit it, I'm in love. Never before have I been this happy, so satisfied with life, so much...in love. I love her deeply, every time I see her, every time I look into her eyes, there is this feeling of happiness. I have never felt this way about a girl before, she is so wonderful to me, so caring, so smart, so nice, so beautiful. Not only beautiful in the sense of appearance, (she does have a beautiful body), but also the fact that she is real. I'm not afraid to admit that she is smarter than me, she is, and it turns me on. Her personality makes her the most beautiful person I have ever met. I'm so lucky to have her.

User Journal

Journal Journal: WTF, Part II

So things started to feel a little grim, I was getting back into lonely mode, but something changed. After the whole Windsor Girl dilemma, I figured I would be lonely but then she suggested that I should talk to her friend. At first I didn't want to, I didn't want to deal with rejection again. Then, I realized that I had learn from past experiences, and it doesn't hurt to try. After all, we had similar interests. So I started talking to this new girl, she was fun to talk to and we always had something to talk about. Be it school, politics, parents, or computers *drool*. One night she IMed saying that she was bored and all her friends were busy, I suggested (never thinking it would work, mind you) that she should come over...and she did (WTF?!?!?!?!) We watched Boondock Saints and held her in my arms. It was awesome, I love the feeling of having someone. After we were done watching the movie, I walked her to her car and busted out the question, and asked her out. She said yes (!!!) I gave her a kiss on the cheek (!!!) and we said our goodbyes.

So...now...I have...a girlfriend. I never thought this would happen to me, but for some unknown reason, it has. I must say, this is my first real girlfriend, where there is actual feelings between each other, where I actually feel I'm in a serious relationship. I guess I was wrong, I figured I wouldn't be happy even if I had a girlfriend, but I am. Right now, it's a euphoric feeling, kissing her, holding her, it just feels so great. I guess I really did need a girlfriend, because I actually feel like life is worth living. She's awesome, she likes computers, she's a leftist, she likes photography, she's beautiful, and I actually thinks she likes me. What more could I ask for?


Journal Journal: Burning CDs like an LA Riot

Newsflash! Paul has accomplished getting CD-Writing to work in Debian Linux, if that doesn't give me 1337 h@x0r status I don't know what will. So how did I accomplish this? I don't exactly konw but it somehow works...

After reading through the CD-Writing HOWTO I added this wonderful line to /etc/lilo.conf:

append="hdc=ide-scsi" # this line kiddies!

I did a 'cdrecord -scanbus' and nothing came up. I messed around in xcdroast (which requires you to be root so I had to issue a "su -c 'xcdroast'" from a terminal window in order to get it open) I noticed that somehow it detected my Plextor IDE cd writer. When I wasn't paying attention, I realized that I needed to type 'insmod sg' in order to load the SCSI module. After fiddling around a little bit more and deleting my old symbolic link of /dev/cdrom and doing a 'cd /dev && rm cdrom && ln -s scd0 cdrom' everything seemed ok. I consulted the xcdroast manual to learn how to burn a CD and I sucessfully burned my first Linux cd in years (which happened to be Gattaca ;)

...soooo good


Journal Journal: Why OS X isn't THAT Great

First of all, I'd like to say OS X is probably the best desktop based Unix OS out there. As far as the "just works" factor goes, it beats anything I've ever seen, but for me, it isn't THAT impressive.

One of the biggest reasons is that it is commercially supported, when you have a big company like Apple putting all it's Software Development brain power into a new OS, what can you expect? It doesn't surprise me that they were able to do it. How many large companies are supporting the development of a Desktop-based linux Distro...*hears crickets* exactly! There's talks of IBM supporting UserLinux, but nothing currently has been released. Of course there's the factor of it using a whore of a license called the BSD license. Which allows anyone to take community supported code, modify it and not having to release the source code. So you basically steal the hard work of unpaid coders and use it for your own profit (sorry, I just don't understand the logic behind the BSD license.) Then there's the biggest reason why OSX is as successful as it is, Apple owns the hardware and the software. This is the main reason why it "Just Works". The list of Apple Hardware and third party hardware for Apple is much more limited than say linux and the 11+ architectures it supports. With all the hardware it supports, it's more likely to fail or crash. Now back to commercial support, third party vendors are also more likely to release drivers for OS X than Linux, which makes sense because Apple takes up more of the desktop marketshare. Though it would make sense if these third party vendors would open the code and let the Linux community figure it out on their own, unless they're hiding something...(aka falsified benchmarks.)

So is OS X so totally sweet like everyone thinks it is? I personally don't think OS X by itself makes it great. It's looking at the whole Apple market, and then you'll realize why OS X is so successful.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Sluts are Awesome

I never understood why sluts are looked down upon. To me, they are the true feminists. Why? Think about it, they stand for equality, they want the cock and nothing else. They don't expect you to buy them dinner, drive them around in a fancy car, they just want sex. And what's so bad about that? These "Pheminists" (phony feminists) consider their vaginas holier-than-thou, that you must smother them, buy them expensive dinners, treat them like a princess and expect nothing in return. How is this equality? It's not, it puts women in a superior position. Sluts are a geek's best friend, since they don't care who they screw, they will most likely boink you.

What we should look down upon are whores. Whores use sex to obtain things. Whores will give a boss a blowjob to work her way up, whores want to be pampered and bought things, then they'll have sex with you, but who can blame them? Guys are stupid enough to fall for this shit time and time again, and whores are not looked down upon by society, in fact most pheminists are whores.

So remember guys:

Sluts good, whores bad!

User Journal

Journal Journal: Loneliness

It's probably the worst feeling you can have. You'd think someone like me would be used to it, and I am, but whenever I have the opportunity to be with someone, I take advantage of it, except that I latch onto that person. In most cases, that girl does not have the same feelings for me as I do for them and I end up hurting myself. Now I must return to my normal self and it sucks. For the past few weeks I have felt like going out and doing something, with anyone. Anytime I see an attractive girl, I'll all the sudden feel depressed because I know I can never be with anyone for more than a week. Now it's back to watching Family Guy episodes, whacking off to pr0n, and trying to fix things in Linux.

Not that I can really complain, these three things are the spices of life for me. Has Family Guy ever not made me laugh? No, has pr0n not made me happy? Nope. And Linux? Has Linux ever let me down? Never! If Linux was a female, it would be the perfect girlfriend. A girlfriend that is always there when you need her, and not there when you don't. You can see Linux whenever you want, just by typing ssh. Linux is not a drain on your intelligence nor your emotions, if anything, it expands your mind. Sure I may sound like a loser (which I am), but Linux is the glue that keeps my broken mind and heart together. Maybe Linux is the only thing I got?

It's sad that Linux is my girlfriend, but the more I think about it, the more I don't care and the more hatred I have for society (or so I think.) Why is it that society portrays having a significant other as a necessity? Every where you look, be it the president, TV, movies, it's always about couples. How many great movies have you seen that didn't involve a love story of some sort? (only one that I can think of, Pi) The majority of American voters would not vote for a president if he didn't have the "Family Image". Then there's all the bullshit around celebrity couples. Whenever you watch some TV Show or some movie, you'll always see some depressed guy that just got dumped by his girlfriend only to regain happiness by finding someone else. You never see some movie about a guy getting dumped and then finding the cure for cancer, nobody would watch it, it would be too boring. Maybe it's society imprinting into our pathetic brains that in order to be happy, we NEED someone. Or maybe it's animal instinct. Maybe it's instinct for males to procreate the earth with their seed to as many women as they humanly can. Maybe it's instinct for man to feel accomplished by having a family. I have no clue, and I doubt I will ever find out.


Journal Journal: Fixing Sound in Debian Linux

It seemed like my sound card (SB Live!) was constantly skipping in Linux whenever I did anything the required CPU cycles. I had the same problem in Windows 2000. The way I resolved it in Windows was installing the latest Via 4-in-1 Service Pack and update my Live! drivers. I tried setting up linux with Alsa thinking this might fix it but I was unsuccessful and gave up. I then decided to try to update the (emu10k1) Linux Live! driver and see if this would work. I had issues before I recompiled my kernel and I don't really remember the error messages. After I recompiled my kernel I still had problems doing a 'make' because the modules were still in use. I exited out of X and did the following commands:

rmmod emu10k1

rmmod ac97_codec

rmmod sound

rmmod soundcore

I typed 'make' then 'make install'.

Now I had to update my /etc/modules.conf per the README doc. Of course, since I use Debian I needed to add the line:

alias sound emu10k1

to /etc/modutils/aliases

when I did a 'update-modules' I got an error message in regards to 'unresolved symbols' for a via audio module. I went ahead and moved that module to a /tmp directory and issued 'update-modules' and it ran fine. The README stated I should be able to play an audio file and it should automagically load the required modules, it didn't. I issued a:

/etc/init.d/modutils stop

/etc/init.d/modutils start

this reloaded the sound modules and I was able to play audio.

The test was to play an mp3 in xmms and do an 'apt-cache search kernel'. Usually music would skip but it did not this time. I do not know if the problem has been resolved but so far, so good.


Looks like I still experienced sound skipping, I went ahead and posted the problem on Debian's debian-user mailing list. Most of them said to check out if DMA was set, I installed hdparm and did the following:

turin:~# hdparm -t /dev/hdb

/dev/hdb: Timing buffered disk reads: 8 MB in 3.76 seconds = 2.13 MB/sec

turin:~# hdparm -d1 /dev/hdb

setting using_dma to 1 (on)
using_dma = 1 (on)

turin:~# hdparm -t /dev/hdb

Timing buffered disk reads: 106 MB in 3.01 seconds = 35.22 MB/sec

After I did this, I did not experience and sound skipping when playing movies or playing mp3s while running find and apt-cache search. Yay!

User Journal

Journal Journal: WTF is happening?

I don't get it, about a month ago I was lonely and in my usual mope mode complaining about not having a girlfriend. I started noticing that girl was randomly IM'ing me, though I was always away. Finally I talked with her one night (online) and it was like any normal conversation. The next night my roommate tells me that "Roommate's Girl" is coming over with "Windsor Girl" (actual names hidden to protect the guil...er innocent). For some reason I guess he knew that I knew her. We didn't really talk that night and I said "fuck it" and left with my friend to go driving. On the way he told me that she was constantly checking me out, I felt a little better. A few days later we had a party and we started talking, it was great, she reminded me of well...me. Now we are seeing each other a lot more often and it's awesome. I still don't understand how some one can be interested in me, and this is my downfall...

I have this weird feeling that something is going to go terribly wrong, and I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe it's my pessimistic attitude, but she'll probably grow tired of me within a few weeks, who knows. I just might as well take advantage of it while it lasts...


Journal Journal: I'm too sexy for my kernel, too sexy for my make-kpkg...

I've recompiled my kernel a few times in Redhat (nightmare) and Debian, but never bothered to use the command make-kpkg. After checking out debianplanet.org's howto Quickstart guide to kernel-package. I decided to use it and it was quite an adventure...

Kernel wont compile!

At first, when issuing a

"make-kpkg --revision=8:turin.1.0 kernel_image"

I would get compiles errors, I did a little research and it seemed that kernel 2.4.18 is not compatible with gcc-3.3 (funk dat noise.) So I installed gcc-2.95 and passed the following command:

MAKEFLAGS="CC=gcc-2.95" make-kpkg --append-to-version -200310251 --revision cus tom.1 kernel_image

That allowed it compile, but it still gave errors in regards to making symbolic links. I'm sure this had to do something with the EXTRAVERSION in the makefile but I tried everything and eventually gave up. I decided instead of apt-get'ing the kernel source to just download the newest kernel from kernel.org So I did, and extracted the source and issued this same command...

"make-kpkg --revision=8:turin.1.0 kernel_image"

Wham, bam, thank you mam. Now I gots me a .deb kernel image. I did a...

dpkg -i kernel-image-2.4.22_turin.1.0_i386.deb

from /usr/src and it asked me a few questions. I said 'no' to most of them because I did not want it messing up my install. I reran lilo and rebooted my computer...

turin:/usr/src# uname -a Linux turin 2.4.22 #1 Sat Oct 25 11:10:56 PDT 2003 i686 GNU/Linux



Journal Journal: Debian Installation Notes

These last few days has been a pain getting Debian to work. This hasn't been the fault of Debian, but my lack of knowledge with Debian.

First thing that I experienced...


After I installed Debian without a hitch (after about the 3rd time installing, it's a breeze) I experienced a problem where it wouldn't get past LI in the LILO screen, it would just print a bunch of 40 40 40 40 40 40 across the screen. The reason was, I was booting off the second hard drive in the computer. I thought by installing LILO on the mbr would be enough, but it wasn't. After googling I realized that I needed to add these two lines to /etc/lilo.conf: (of course I had to do a rescue boot from the CD)

disk=/dev/hdb bios=0x80

I guess this overrides the default drive mapping from the BIOS. After that, I had no problems booting.

Upgrading to unstable

This was probably the easiest problem I had. I had no clue how to upgrade to unstable from stable. I posted the question in the debian-user mailing list (over here) and received helpful replies. I edited my /etc/apt/sources.list and changed everything from 'stable' to 'unstable' (except security updates) and did an apt-get update then apt-get dist-upgrade. It spewed out some errors and I tried another suggestion. Basically I ran deselect (which I used to hate) did an Update and then an Install the install went seamless but unfortunately I got confused in the keyboard configuration and basically foobar?d it (chose Macintosh usb keyboard since I was using one.) I was pretty impatient and reinstalled Debian and did the upgrade again. This time I left the keyboard config alone and everything went fine. For some reason Tasksel wouldn't work to install KDE3 so I broke down and again...used deselect. It worked fine.

Getting the damn USB mouse to work

I knew using gpm would probably be my best bet to get my mouse working. For some reason it didn't, It didn't help that usb wasn't an option for configuring gpm. After doing a little more googling I found out I need to use the option for IMPS/2 as my mouse. Still my mouse didn't work. After more googling I realized I needed to install the debian package called 'hotplug'. I reloaded gpm and wham, bam, thank you mam, I had my usb mouse working! (Yay!)

Getting X to work

Getting X to work was a biznitch. xf86cfg would run but the damn mouse didn't work! Worst of all, when running 'startx' all I would get is some mumbo jumbo on the frame buffer not working. So I figured changing the /etc/X11/XF86Config-4 from:

Option "UseFBDev" "true"


Option "UseFBDev" "false"

No love. I discovered doing a dpkg-reconfigure xfree86-server and following some instructions from the config file itself changed this. But still...no mouse! I realized later that I needed to change:

Option "Device" "/dev/mice"

to point to "/dev/gpmdata". Sweet! It all werks!

Getting pr0n and music from my Windows drive to work

What better way to celebrate a fresh install of debian than to watch some cdgirls? Basically I couldn't mount my ntfs partition to be accessed by normal users. This became a bitch for about 20 minutes, I finally rtfm'd and read the man pages for mount and added this line to /etc/fstab:

/dev/hda6 /windows ntfs ro,user,uid=1000,gid=1000 0 0

Basically I needed to specify the uid and gid of my username, and away I went!

My next projects are recompiling the kernel (which I have from source but not through Debian) and getting some bass out of my freggin sound card.

God I love Linux!

User Journal

Journal Journal: Rejected 3

I was so hyped up this morning, I walked to work getting all sweaty, hot and bothered. I had my Zaurus ready for attack, this morning I was going to ask for Coffee Girl's digits. So I went to the coffee shop and got my normal Caramel Mocha and I started talking to her, she talked about all the hours she works and she brought up taking care of her two kids. I asked her if she was married, I don't know if she heard me or not but she didn't reply. I asked her what else she does other than work, she talked about dancing at some place that I never heard of. I finally brought up the forbidden question, "so, do you want to go out sometime?" She then told me about going through her divorce (game over dude!) ...rejected. She told me I should come to the dance place and then she asked me a terrible question, "you're over 21 right?" I didn't even hesitate, I said no, I didn't want to lie. "Well, how old are you?" "19," I replied. "You're too young!" I didn't know if she meant to go to the dance hall (unlikely) or too young to go out with her.

I knew what this meant, and I wasn't pissed, I understood. "Too young" meaning not financially secure, and with her situation this wasn't a problem. If you were single, working 70 hours a week, you wouldn't want a boyfriend that makes less than you. If it wasn't for her sake, it was for her kid's sake.

I don't feel rejected, I had the guts to ask a beautiful girl out, and didn't bitch and moan when she turned me down. I wasn't that nervous and for this I'm grateful, I'm getting better as time goes on. Although I do feel down, but oh well, if this is rejection, rejection isn't that bad.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Feeling Bad

Met a girl at the movies
She was so beautiful
She was the one for me
So I asked her if I could call her at home
She said "No thanks just give me my popcorn"
So I followed her into the theater
And found a seat that was right behind her
Smelled her hair, smelled her sweater
And then I touched myself!

-- Nerf Herder - "Feeling Bad"

Another interesting day. Hyped on Red Bull and cigarettes for lunch I was yet again on the prowl. My victims? 2 females this time (!!!) I was bored on my lunch break broiling in the sweet California Sun, I noticed a cute girl in a professional dress sitting on a bench at the park. My friend told me I should put the moves on her, so once my friend went back inside, I started to plan my attack. I sat on the bench next to her, and talked about how hot it was (and this is when I started to get nervous again.) I asked her if it was cool if I sat next to her on the bench, she seem kind of reluctant but I was already half way there before she said ok. She was very cute with an excellent body, I found out she graduated from college and now was working for an insurance company (way way waaay out of my league.) Eventually she brought up her boyfriend (Abort! Abort!) and I knew I had no chance. Overall she was a very nice girl, and I'm glad I had the chance to talk to her. So I went to the corner store to buy cigarettes and noticed a very cute latin looking chick smiling as she walked by. After I came out of the store I had the sudden urge to follow her. I almost turned around but I kept on following her until she went into a book store, as I was walking in she was walking out, she said "hi" to me. Now what was I going to do? I decided to walk out and yelled, "Excuse me! Do I know you?" we started talking and she gave me her name. I started shaking, and it kept on getting worse and worse, eventually she said she had to go and she left. I don't know if she was freaked out by me or she really had to go.

A part of me feels like a creep, I mean, what would you do if a weird looking guy started following you and starts shaking when he approaches you? You'd think he's some cracked out weirdo trying to rape you, and part of me felt this way. The other part of me was full of confidence. I don?t think I've ever approached a woman that I didn't know and started talking to her. For me, this is really practice. I need to get use to women and once I see one I really like, I'll have guts enough to approach her and not be nervous. Chicks really dig confidence and I don't have any. Maybe someday I'll have enough confidence to ask for Coffee Girl's digits...

Life is an RPG

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