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User Journal

Journal Journal: Like Owen Wilson in Armageddon 7

So the Fuckhead Of The United States is having literally the worst first month of a presidential term and his big idea is a 2020 campaign rally in fucking Florida this weekend?

Oughtta just nuke the whole country, it's the only way to be sure at this point. Fucking Yanks.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Keep fucking that chicken 2

A warning for Trump:

You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you're the asshole,

User Journal

Journal Journal: How long until President Pence? 43

Game theory would seem to point to sooner rather than later. As of right now, there is almost zero downside (and quite a few perks available if done right.) Of course, this assumes the GOP congresscritters could organize a piss up in a brewery, something that hasn't been a surefire thing since the 90s.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Rogue One 1

Yeeeeesh. Kinda the opposite of the The Force Awakens, weirdly: There's an actual serviceable plot, but none of the characters are given time to develop personalities or motivations. Also, between shitty lines and an underfunded costuming department, Vader looked and sounded like an idiot.

There are a couple of cool moments, and there's a certain satisfaction and integrity present in the fact that R:O is a (mostly) standalone story. But, one thing a Star Wars shouldn't be is boring, and this delivers in spades on that front.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Shocked, I tell ya 1

Sheriff Joe Arpaio to hold press conference on Obama birth certificate investigation

Verily tingling with anticipation.

In related news, Cornell Belcher details how race and racism still had a part to play in the 2016 election:
 

Jenée Desmond-Harris

A question a lot of people ask around the question of the role race and racism played in Trumpâ(TM)s election is, âoeHow can you say Americans are concerned with race when they elected Obama?â I know the long answer is in the data presented in your book, but whatâ(TM)s the simple response to that?

Cornell Belcher

They didnâ(TM)t. Thatâ(TM)s the thing here. The majority of whites did not elect Obama, and thatâ(TM)s the wolf at the door. The vast majority of whites did not support President Obama and President Obama won back-to-back majorities, and that caused the realization of their power waning. Mitt Romney ran up a higher score among white voters than Ronald Reagan, when Reagan had a landslide in 1984.

Conservatives may want to take note of this, however:
 

In battleground states, particularly more diverse states, the percentage of white people voting Democrat decreases significantly as that population gets more diverse. So diversity is having an opposite impact that is harmful to Democrats.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Donald Trump is leader of the Free World 66

That, right there, is one very useful phrase, I'll have to admit. I've used it in all kinds of contexts, and for different effects, and it works great. It's like a rhetorical swiss army knife.

Moving on, talk about getting shafted! I'm glad my political gambling is a hobby, not an addiction, cuz Cheeto Mussolini just fucked me out of 5K. Although I'm even more glad of my Senate side bet since it helps take the sting out of it.

Congratulations to all the Republicans out there! It's been exhausting work pretending to care about the deficit, unemployment numbers, and whether or not the rest of the world thinks the US is a laughingstock, so I'm sure you'll all be glad for the break.

Last but not least, commiserations to all the kids out there, the ones who'll get punched repeatedly in the face as they struggle through life because global warming as a solvable problem is gone for at least a generation, whilst us Boomers and Gen Xers get to pop our clogs before the really bad shit starts. Time to start volunteering for those Mars missions, I guess.

For any non-Yanks out there, there is a small silver lining: Between, incompetence, corruption, and taking advantage of these historic circumstances to finally bury the Dem party forever, the incoming administration may be too busy trying to fuck over the US to have any time to fuck over the rest of the planet any more than they have already have. Fingers crossed!

User Journal

Journal Journal: Post-Brexit Blues 5

Not that having a spinal column was ever a regular feature of your average politician, but the absolute cluelessness of major UK political figures in the last couple of days is stunning. As far as I can tell, only Nicola Sturgeon has managed to avoid dumping large amounts of shit on herself.

Personally, I lay a lot of the blame at Tony Blair's feet. If he'd hadn't been such a mendacious prick, most of the current crop of British pols wouldn't even exist today.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Today in the news 3

Milquetoast Liberals being hammered for their pussification by the same asshats who shat their pants on 9/11.

If the US didn't exist, you'd have to invent her.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Inevitability 9

The base's grateful anointing of Trump in the last few weeks has been hilarious. I won't deny that, unlike pretty much anyone else, he really knows how to hit those sweet rhetorical spots, but this idea that he's the right man for the right job at the right time is grade-A bullshit.

Trump is going to be the Republican nominee not because he's awesome, but because everybody else failed hard. For starters, the perennial no-hoper contingent was the biggest ever this cycle with Jindal, Pataki, Graham, Fiorina, Gilmore, Huckabee, Carson, Paul, Christie and Perry. That's ten fucking useless candidates, there only to boost their speaking fees and maybe snag a cushy cabinet slot. I'll grant that, statistically, they probably had little to no effect on vote totals, but they certainly added to the circus atmosphere. In any other year, Trump would have been an early casualty, but with these idiots, as they slowly got ground out of the process, he got to hang on and look a little better by comparison.

Then you've got the big hitters, every single one of which failed miserably. We should be watching either Scott Walker or Ted Cruz laying into Hillary right now, but Walker proved to be such an embarrassment of a candidate that he made Rick Perry's 2012 run look good. Cruz, darling of the base, the most conservative politician on the Hill, apparently couldn't get his hands on that software upgrade that makes you behave like an actual human being.

And there's Jeb and Marco, different generations of beloved establishment candidates who apparently took all their campaigning cues from Scott Walker. I never thought the establishment candidates had as much of a chance this year as most did, but one of them at least should have ended up in the final two, not flame out spectacularly.

Let me put it this way: If a minor league ballplayer comes to Yankee stadium and homers all night, that's a big fucking deal. If, instead, he spanks the shit out of a little league team, we call a guy like that a douchebag, not a winner.

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