Suddenly, after years on this site, my very first Slashdot "Relationship Change" notification ever - But Why?
Below is what I received from Slashdot, for the record.
Slashdot Message for Bob_Who
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sent by Slashdot Message System on Monday May 03, @12:05AM
esme (17526) has made you their foe.
OK Slashdot, who the fuck is this and why do I care? Does this mean we're breaking up? Jerry Springer and Maury will have to pay for the paternity test....
I've been slash dotting a couple of years, lots of comments, moderating, and participation. In all that time, I never had any involvement with [friends, foes, freaks, fans] because I just don't have any interest in tagging virtual users. I just don't need to manage that info, and so far, not one other user has found the need to index me as such. Comments can illicit a response which is a suitably relevant record of interaction with another user opinion - it seems unnecessary to tag that user in any particular way. So far, this reality is consistent, and I never even consider the feature's usefulness. I can keep score on real people, but fail to see the value in defining the imaginary, virtual, or text based entities who are only a handle to an anonymous opinion. That being the situation, it was a real surprise to me when suddenly, for no apparent reason someone needed to define their relationship to me. Weirder still, its a long time slashdotter (based on member #) and furthermore, I am designated a "foe". I don't even bother tagging goatse a foe, so this must be some serious grudge (fuck)
Okay fine, I have no doubt that I say all kinds of stuff to piss people off, but usually, if that occurs, my offensive statement is challenged then and there, with a thread to the post, or simply moderated, or in some way confronted at the point of entry. In other words, friend or foe - its all a reference to an interaction with a specific posting. If I am "foe" its because I posted something specific. It seems to be completely retarded that a person [freak] would make the point of designating an opinion of me without any reference to a topic that elicited this response. Its inane, and meaningless, and retarded. I have spent an hour looking through my recent entries and this persons postings and trying to find some clue as to where we ever had the slightest discourse or interaction. I have no basis to friend or foe them. I just know that for reasons that completely elude me I am designated a foe. So for the record, if I wind up dead or missing for no apparent reason, I hope that dateline NBC will dig up this posting (and my corpse) and discover that although there may be no apparent motive, a reliable indication of the perpetrator is hereby established. You may never find my body, but you'll always have this journal entry as proof that I have a true enemy, cyber-foe, fatwa, hit man, stalker, or whatever - right here on Slashdot.
Its important to understand that people you never knew existed, or who in fact may not exist at all, are quite aware of you, and have made it known to the internet that they consider you a foe, for the record, on Slashdot. Its so special and meaningful when you cannot even begin to guess what could possibly be the relevancy of this antagonism without some little clue or reference to a keystroke interaction.
It just blows my mind that when I finally have my very first "Relationship Change" (like a virgin) notification from Slashdot, that there is not even slightest clue or indication as to why. What is the fucking purpose of it then? Its totally meaningless if this is some random designation. I mean what's the fucking point? I'm completely confused. What a neurotic feature. Its like socially inept "faceless book" non interactive mystery discourse. Its just stupid and creepy, from where I sit. I just have no earthly idea why this person even made the effort to opine their view of me, and yet completely evade any reference to my interaction. or anything I ever said that is meticulously stored and indexed in Slashdot's database.
Oh, you mean I stole your wife, ran over your dog, and got you fired, dented your car? No? I have to keep guessing?
(imagine Al Pacino Scarface voice) Well, say hello to my little friend ! (machine guns and dirty bombs) Kaboom! Oops, there goes Philadelphia.....
Or maybe you think I'm John Cussack in Grosse Pointe Blank since I do have a high school reunion coming up....That's it! Its a job! I have a new hit contract! I've been hired to get medieval on this guy's ass. This is the one I'm supposed to "Bada Bing" at Tony's sausage factory.