You know that feeling when you're going up the begining of a roller coaster and each "click" you hear on the way up the first drop brings exhileration from anticipation? Well yesterday was that. Waiting for comencement tomorrow (friday) and looking forward to getting things going in my life.
Well, now I'm at that top of the incline, looking down and seeing that the track stops, but the fall doesn't. I can see one lonely, hook-shaped, rusty nail sticking out of the wall several miles down (yeah, my eyes are that good) and have that pit in my stomach cause I know my eyelid will get caught on it during the free fall before hitting the spiked rocks below.
My boss showed up today for a surprise meeting. The same boss that has stuck by me, encouraged me to go back and get my degree, let me drop to part-time while in school, promissed me they'd hire me back full time when I was done, and been pretty damn understanding when I had to call in saying, "Sorry, I have to study more for my exam tonight. I'll be on call today, but I need to go to the library." Yeah, that boss. He took me to lunch to celebrate (I have a cold, so I didn't really eat) and I was expecting to receive my full-time offer when he said (paraphrased):
"Congratulations on graduating. We're not going to be hiring you back full-time. If you want to continue working part time, you will have to move to Ebensburg(1) and take the resulting cost of living difference pay cut. You have till next friday to decide. By the way, enjoy the lunch(2) as a graduation gift."
So, those that read this journal that I know, Tomorrow's graduation party is off, since I have ~$200 in the bank and may need that just to survive till I find another job. I'm under contract with my lease until September so I may be working at the bars again just to pay the bills. On that note, I may not be around
If anyone needs me, I'll be the guy in the corner with the handle of grain waving a crayon diploma and wearing a "Do Not Resucitate" T-shirt.
(1) Ebensburg is a shit-hole little town about 75min west/north-west of Pittsburgh. The highlight of it's existance are that it has a McDonalds and it's at the top of the mountains, so there is STILL snow there today. The cost of living is about nil because everything is so run-down and crime-laden.
(2) Lunch consisted of a hotel resteraunt where they didn't even have soup. I got a burger and fries, ate about 1/4 of the burger and 3 fries and got a to-go box. Oh, and I had to leave the tip.