My wallet was stolen at the Y several years ago (which got me to stop working out). Getting the license replaced was easier than getting my library card replaced. All the DMV needed was two pieces of mail. Perhaps you need a better Secretary of State where you live?
When I retired, my employer needed a copy of my birth certificate. I was able to order a copy over the internet, no paper required. All I needed was to know stuff I would know if I was really me.
As to the submission, how in the hell did it get posted? Is the submitter that ignorant?? All you need to back up your paper is a scanner. There are, indeed, stupid questions and this submission is proof.
DUH!! When did slashdot stop being a nerd site?