I've travelled all over the world and the following is the complete list of border security issues I've endured over the last 10 years:
1. Brisbane, Australia, 2003: They made me throw out a brick of cheese I'd purchased in New Zealand. They told me that, had it been in the original unopened factory packaging, they'd have let it through.
2. Penang, Malaysia, 2006: They had me open up my laptop and start it. The guard then picked it up, held it up high to look at the bottom, then lost his grip and dropped it. It bounced off the conveyor, and landed on, then cartwheeled down the flight of steps immediately behind the conveyor all the way down to the next floor. The guard looked absolutely horrified and practically fell down the steps himself going after it and bringing it back up to me, apologising profusely all the while, then waited while I made sure it still worked. I'm posting with that laptop now, BTW, which I still keep around for reading stuff online when I'm too lazy to get the good one out of my bag.
3. Beijing, China, 2010: Got read the riot act for having "smuggled" a cigarette lighter with me on a flight from Frankfurt. I told them, truthfully, that they saw it at the security checkpoint in Frankfurt and did not offer to take it away from me. The border guard in question accused me of lying. I responded, "Please go give them a call and ask them if they take away cigarette lighters from outbound passengers on international flights, because I am pretty sure they will tell you that they don't. I'll be happy to wait while you check." He came back about 5 minutes later and said, "You can go." He kept the lighter, though.
4. Newark International, USA, 2011: Had a half-metre ethernet cable confiscated as a potential weapon. Me: "Weapon? Huh?" Bitchy old TSA lady: "You could strangle somebody with that thing." Me: "That would have never occurred to me in a million years, until you suggested it just now. Well done." She started to say something after that, but her 2 colleagues both started chuckling, and she gave me a look that could have curdled vinegar. After about 10 seconds, one of the others said, "Maddy's having one of her good days--On your way, son", and off I went.