- D1: DIFFUSE: Yes, we are caring and totally empathize with your situation
- D2: DEFER: But you must understand that that our hands our tied because the (x) has said (y)
- D3: DEFENESTRATE: Therefore, we must decline your request at this time.
It worked like a friggin' charm every time. And we'd gang up on the poor hapless PHB. A senior IT guy would walk in, ready to FIX THE PROBLEM. The first thing he'd ask for was a status update. We'd invariably respond with "Well, it's a D2 right now, but we're still looking into it", and he'd quickly bump it up to a "D3". Then we'd go for a nice extended lunch, and the PHB would be left scratching his head wondering where all his clout had evaporated to.Fuck, I loved IT before it all caved in and we became computer janitors.