Nobody ever read the book Sunstorm by Stephen Baxter? The idea was to build a massive reflector the diameter of the Earth to block out the massive flare headed for us. It worked pretty well in the book, considering the oceans didn't boil away.

Put a bluetooth in your ear and loudly talk about how you're going to "Fire his ass as soon as you get back in the office". You can also add something about how you "don't pay him (whatever exorbitant amount) to make screw-ups like that on multi-million dollar projects". Make them think you're so important that you couldn't be expected to expend the calories necessary to tote around a larger one.

I don't need a fuckin' implant. Give me a credit-card sized ID, like my old apartment complex had Keep it in a lead wallet... Then nobody could scan it from a distance.