> in addition to being the airheads they're traditionally portrayed as.
It's worse than you imagine, by far.
Surfers are dangerous thugs, and they will issue beatdowns at the slightest provocation, or even no provocation at all.
They roam in packs, speak in a near-incomprehensible dialect, and evade all duties to god, country, family, and work in a crazed hedonistic pursuit of some delusional "perfect wave."
The most cursory of examinations of surfing culture as exposed by media fact-finders will inform you that surfing damages its practitioners in some way that reduces their mental capacities to that of a troglodyte.
If you govern, you should always view surfers as an especially insidious fifth column. If you employ, never ever hire a surfer, as they are inveterate shirkers. If you're thinking of entering into a relationship with a surfer, do not, because they are completely unreliable and cannot be counted on to adhere to even the most basic of familial obligations. If you see them in the water, do not approach them, but instead calmly leave the area prior to notifying the authorities.
Despite its malevolent foundation, surfing culture has infected the minds of young people around the world, and seems to still be spreading.
To combat this pernicious infection, it is recommended that you boycott all things associated with surfing and surfers.
Do not buy surfing-related apparel. Do not watch videos of tanned bodies in the peak of youthful health flying as if on magic carpets though crystal blue dreamscapes of water. Do not fall prey to the seductions of charismatic groups of surfers, living lives that you can neither imagine nor approve of, as you perform your tasks as a good conscientious member of society.
Stamp out this virulent infection now, before it is too late!