Dan: What’s the problem?
Mallory: During your broadcast on September 5th, you sang Happy Birthday to your partner, Casey McCall.
Dan: Yeah, but I can explain that. Wait, it was his birthday. Why do I have to explain that?
Mallory: You sang Happy Birthday on the air.
Mallory: Listen, I think it’s sweet that you and your partner sing to each other on television. Others may think that it’s vaguely gay, but I disagree.
Dan: Thank you.
Mallory: Nonetheless, you can’t do it anymore.
Dan: Why not?
Mallory: It’s against the law?
Dan: It’s against the law to be vaguely gay?
Mallory: It’s against the law to sing Happy Birthday on television.
Mallory: It's owned by the representatives of Mildred and Patty Hill.
Dan: It took two people to write that song?