Everything I've heard about Silicon Valley suggests that it is a complete zoo traffic-wise, with most having to live an hour away due to costs/etc.
That sounds about like what I've heard and seen. The rents are ridiculous, so lots of people live far away, and the traffic is bad during rush hour because there's no decent public transit. From what I saw, all the companies are in office parks, so the density is very poor, and you have to drive everywhere.
If anything it seems worse than a city, like half of New Jersey.
I assume you're talking about north NJ; I actually live there. It's not "worse than a city", it's just different. NJ's main problem is high property taxes and high rents, but nothing like Silicon Valley-area rents. There's a reason so many people live in NJ and commute by train or bus to Manhattan: NYC is so ridiculously expensive that it's cheaper to live in NJ, plus you can afford a much larger place, maybe even sitting next to some woods; there's lots of parks and greenery all over the place on this side of the Hudson. The other thing that's not so great about NJ is the driving time; all the roads were probably designed by animals (literally: I think all the roads were laid out along colonial-era horse roads, which of course were probably previously trails used by Indians, which were probably previously animal trails), and generally quite small; there's some highways of course, but for the most part between all the narrow spaghetti-like roads and traffic lights, it takes a while to get anywhere compared to a west coast city.
By suburb I mean someplace where you don't have to drive more than 10min to get to a fully operational farm, but where residences and medium-sized businesses are plentiful.
That's not a suburb, that's your own personal definition for something you seem to prefer. Lots of American cities are mostly suburban, and don't have any farms anywhere around. Atlanta for instance is famous for its sprawl.