KnockKnockWhosThereHarryHarryWhoHarryUpAndFinishThisJoke

Pets are conditioning my kids to be rude.
For example, my kids often walk up to my dog and pet it.
My dog needs to teach them that you can't just walk up to any person and pet them over an over.
I need a dog that bites when someone tries to pet it so that my kids can become less annoying.

I'm missing the context to see it as Hilarious. Maybe it requires sitting through other nonsensical movies written by humans.

I think the actors made it Intense. If they had said the same things in a different tone, then perhaps it could have come off differently, such as sarcastic or seduceful.

Actually, I liked where this was going. Let me try my ending:

Imagine it's Valentine's day, and you go to the store to get your bonnie lass a box of chocolates. You have them gift-wrap it, and you go to the fancy restaurant where you have dinner reservations. The evening goes beautifully. You take her home, and she gives you a very exciting come-hither look. You offer her a chocolate, and she says she's not wanting that, but that doesn't dissuade you. You push it toward her mouth, pressing it against her teeth as she ever-increasingly tries to push your hand away. You switch hands and finally get it down her throat.

As for the rest of the chocolates? You drop them in her mouth while she's sleeping, like windows updates.

Of course they've learned from history.
The profit they make will far exceed any fine imposed.

"The projected growth maturation and installation of commercially available encryption -- what they had forecasted for seven years ahead, three years ago, was accelerated to now, because of the revelation of the leaks."

That reads like the revelations only pushed it ahead by 4 years.

Commander, they continue to fire these at us. I think they're attacking.
                                                  -- aliens probably

So what. Home Depot has those occasionally during the year. You have to buy the whole pot though.

Having lived in China, it's somewhat pointless, if not frustrating, to have a search engine return results but upon clicking on the link you get a site inaccessible message. Depending on the status of crackdowns, whoever wants access to Google search in China can use a VPN and see the pages from the search as well.

I think of Australia as the country with the worlds most deadly animals. This seems to fit with that.

This!

This past weekend I tried to access statements from two different accounts at Chase. I logged in and saw some of my remaining accounts, but the ones I wanted were closed. The balances had been at zero for a few months and there was no online way to get any statements or even 2015 tax forms for them. It was as though they had never existed.

Taught me a lesson. I will continue to get paper statements.

It would also be nice if there were a program that you could automate login and retrieval of all your monthly account PDFs (like Mint.com, but for PDF copies).
Somebody start that website and let me participate for a cut.

Can they get Microsoft to stop trying to trick me into downloading Windows 10?

So far, I've run the programs to strip those notifications and updates from my system, but Microsoft keeps getting trickier.

As a student, I found it helpful to remember that my home was filled with 0.1 HP light bulbs.

I'm going to assume that you're not trying to save money from buying Legos, because that's kind of foolish, but instead trying to make custom parts to fit within the Lego system. Your best bet may be to use, at a minimum, 1x1 lego plates (round or square) for the attachment points and use a cheaper 3D printer with a material that bonds to that plastic (ABS, I think).
You can use other Legos to build supporting structures for the printer to build around and keep the 1x1 plates in place and aligned during the process.

If that doesn't solve your problem, then I think you'll need to add a lot of money somewhere to get a solution.

Between the selfies taken in less clothing, yoga pants, and widespread acceptance of the see-through scanners at airports, It looks like a growing number of Americans are less concerned about concealing their bodies too. Look at me. Follow me. Like me.

I'm less worried about the power given to the people who are instituting these tracking laws (some of them believe it is for good, and other believe it will earn them a quick buck). Instead, I'm more worried about the psychopathic power-mongers that such a powerful vantage-point will eventually attract.