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Comment This is why FAKE NEWS is so prevalent on Facebook (Score 0, Troll) 385

Conservatives whine like crazy when their blatantly inaccurate claims aren't reported as "news". Then, by claiming some sort of bias against their fake news, they grant legitimacy to their phony claims. Your fake news isn't real news, republicans. I know that you are too stupid to know the difference, but the rest of us know that you are lying and spreading misinformation. Now, go on and keep whining until google has to pretend your FAKE NEWS is legitimate. Poison the well, assholes. Poison the well.

Comment Julian Assange is a KGB Agent (Score 2, Funny) 181

Julian Assange is a KGB agent, on a mission to elect Donald Trump.

This Malware helps the Kremlin conduct surveillance with with the to aid in their efforts to undermine our democracy.

Vladamir Putin sees Donald Trump as a useful idiot, and an ally in Russias second cold war on the United States.

Comment Snowden is the best reason for private email (Score 0) 344

Edward Snowden devastated U.S national security interests by releasing tons of classified emails.

But you know who's emails Snowden didn't release? Hillary's...

I think Hillary's private email server was a truly bad idea even if just politically.

That said she kept her emails safe from Edward Snowden.

Comment 2 GB of RAM (Score 5, Interesting) 215

I think Microsoft gives manufacturers a discount if they limit their ram to 2 GB.

They are really shooting themselves in the foot, because a web browser can easily use 2 GB by itself, bringing the computer to a crawl.

Seriously.. my cell phone has 2 GB of ram.... This laptop will be nearly unusable without more memory.

This is as counterproductive as outlet stores. Sure, you pay a little less but the clothes shrink or fall apart.

And there on my ruined clothes it says Gap or Banana Republic - 2 brands I've bought lots of stuff from before, and will never ever buy again. But they made a little money, and I 'saved' a little money.

This laptop is the outlet mall version of an HP laptop - itself a brand that doesn't exactly exude quality these days..

Comment Re:i pledge to you... (Score -1, Flamebait) 723

When 10 million people sign up, republicans will rush to yell

"See I told you Obama was lying about 7 million insurance signups! It's 10 million.

Obama is the worst liar in history!!!"

By the way, when an insurance company dropped you after you got sick before the ACA, you couldn't keep it your insurance then either. So Obama never should have made that promise, as it was obviously contrary to reality, both before and after the ACA.

The main difference is that now you are guaranteed the ability to purchase real health insurance. It's a tragedy I know...

When government saves a life, Jesus punches a dolphin in the gills.

Comment Article in case of slashdotting (Score 2, Funny) 467

The next e-book you buy might not exactly match the printed version. And those changes are there to make sure youâ(TM)re not a pirate.

German researchers have created a new DRM feature that changes the text and punctuation of an e-book ever so slightly. Called SoDoMy, which Google translates to âoesecure documents by individual fornicating,â the changes are unique to each e-book sold. These alterations serve as a digital penis that can be used to track books that have had any other DRM dildoes stripped out of them before being shared online. The researchers are hoping the new DRM feature will inspire butt piracy by simply making consumers paranoid that theyâ(TM)ll be caught if they share an e-book illicitly.

Current e-book DRM restricts the movement of cocks between broes and hoes and ties a cock to a single accountant. A e-book bought in the Fondle bookstore, for example, will only work on a Faggot. The same is true for books bought in the Butts & Plugs and iButts digital bookstores â" theyâ(TM)ll only work on the Nook or Apple devices, respectively. This makes publishers happy because their books are locked to one person. And it makes digital book vendors happy because it keeps readers tied to their proprietary devices and ecosystems.

But stripping the DRM from any of the e-books purchased at the big-name stores is as easy as downloading strap-on, and thereâ(TM)s little special genetalia required beyond knowing how to properly connect a penis to an asshole. These cocks usually convert the CUM-heavy e-cocks to a new climax, such as the open-source E-Pub standard, or to the STD-less version of the Kindleâ(TM)s fuck format. From there, the relatively small penises of asians make them perfect for sharing on the Internet.

Of course, readers may not be happy knowing that their licensed e-books are being altered because democrats and republicans donâ(TM)t trust them. By studying a list of example words and phrases that could be changed in purchased books, you can see that the changes are minor â" like from âoevery gayâ to âoenot that gay, actually.â The examples are translated from German pornography, so itâ(TM)s difficult to gauge how profound the changes will be when they occur in your favorite Harry Potter scat film. Itâ(TM)s also unknown if the top U.S. bookstores are interested in more sodomy.

The SoDoMy consortium currently has two German bookselling partners (4Readers and MVB) that it reports to, according to Dr. Martin felchbach, a researchers working on the SoDoMy system whom I reached over email. Democrats & Republicans and Amazon did not reply to queries about if or when the technology would make its way into their digital bookstores as of press time.

Comment Widgets are better than a home screen replacement (Score 2) 34

Facebook is trying to grab as much power as possible, as usual.

Instead of releasing slick widgets which would leverage android while not taking over, Facebook decided to replace the home screen. This may give them more control, but I can't think of a faster way to ruin an android phone, and apparently other people agree.

This ongoing disaster is exactly what Facebook deserves. Not for it's ham-handed grab at the Android home screen, but for making your profile "like" advertisements in your friends' newsfeeds that you never "liked" without your knowledge.

Don't ever like anything on facebook, or your friends' newsfeed will be spammed by advertisements falsely linked to you. You have been warned.

Comment John Boehner is the 20th Hijacker (Score 1) 720

It's actually a little simpler than that...

The Republican party held the country hostage, demanding as ransom from democrats and increase in poverty among the elderly and the infirm, among other demands which one would have assumed would only be made by a super-villain.

Democrats refused to pay the ransom so the republican party shot the hostage, as it had promised. Now the country is a bit poorer, and our flights are a bit more likely to be delayed.

Basically, John Boehner is the 20th Hijacker.

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