And all the beta males on Slashdot quickly added, "please"

Tell me you DID give it a self-destruct

Sailor1: Sir, we captured an American underwater drone!

Officer: Throw it back! QUICK! It's a self service torpedo...

This is especially funny since California has long been known for Silicon Valley, the innovation center for the fastest and most powerful new computing technology. (Well, at least until China took the crown.) Now they'll be known for keeping their computers turned off, and running at throttled speeds when they are on. Software developers will have their beefy i7's replaced with anemic Atoms. Go California!! (just don't go too fast...)

Yes, but I expect fucking computers will be exempted as soon as the cyber-queer community sues for discrimination. Business computers, on the other hand, are permanently screwed.

The election hasn't actually happened yet, but she is expected to lose by 74 votes, having won only 43% of the total.

You mean I'll lose a whole second every two, maybe three months? That's a second of my life I'll never get back.

...you shouldn't have built it in the first place.

I know, preaching to the choir. If only I could send Amber Alerts to the idiots who are apparently in control.

(hint: I'm holding up one finger)

Once you go Aeropress, you'll never settle for less

Pure democracies destroy themselves in short order because people are, for the most part, foolish. The USA walks a perilous path as it is, one it will probably not ultimately survive, but switching to a pure democracy will only hasten our downfall. The federal government is an attempt to find a balanced middle ground between tyranny and democracy, neither of which is desirable. Anyone who does not understand this (1) needs an education, and (2) is exhibit #1 for why democracy is a really bad idea.

The federal government is first and foremost a government of states, not people.

You had me at Pepe

Wait, it's run by Jews?

Then less than 20% of the country supported Hillary too. Current estimate is that the popular vote is within ~200,000 votes nationwide.

It would just be another popularity contest and a target for astroturfing. In the end it would be no more accurate than the stories it purports to fact-check. Can you imagine the cottage industry it would spawn? For only $9.95 we guarantee to increase the fact-rating rating of your page by 100%! Or we can reduce the rating of any page of your choice! Fact-checking is just a method of manipulation. It lulls the unwary into not thinking for themselves, and it insults everyone's intelligence. We need less punditry, not more. If anyone does implement this, I hope they also add a button to disable or hide it, because it would be very annoying.

Spider-pig does whatever a spider-pig does