Old Version:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
New Version as approved by SCOTUS:
We the Lobbyists of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Corporation, establish Profitable Trade, insure domestic (and foreign) Profits, provide for the common stockholder, promote the general Welfare of our CEOs, and secure the Blessings of Wealth to ourselves and our Posterity (only), do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.