"Mind On My war"

[Chorus - Bush]
I got my mind on my war, my war on my mind
(Got my mind on my war, and my war on my mind)
I got my mind on my war, war on my mind
(Got my mind on my war, and my war on my mind)
I got my mind on my war, my war on my mind
(Got my mind on my war, and my war on my mind)
I got my mind on my war, my war on my mind
(Got my mind on my war, and my war on my mind)

[Verse 1 -Bush]
I got my mind on my war, my war on my mind
The thing I got I sell it, to get it all the time
Rummy and Wolfowitz, Condoleeza too
Long as my bitch ridin', W'ont put a nigga down
Im a playa from the Guard, a liar from the start
Something in your chest, then open up your heart
Im bouta set it, like DefCon 1, they get it get it
Gotta have it have it, take it all, man if they let me
Ima run it, put somethin' on it, instead of bet it
It's that war, gonna make some war, buddy I'm ready
Can I get it? It's win or lose, you know the rules
We rollin', we gonna hit it, now pay your dues

[Cheney]
Now when it comes to gettin' that cash flow
Im all about that paper, no credit, just straight dough
And for all who don't know, there's war out to be made
So get it while you can, and still it's just a phase
In the eyes of Halliburton's CEO, you'd be amazed
That time waits for no one, so God, I pray
Try hard not to fall thru life stuck unemployed
So instead I keep on livin' what's given within my void
Put a end after hours scrapin' up all my change
From millions to billions, as you see, this ain't no game
So pick up on your pimpin', get on it and never slip
Cuz all on my mind is my war fully gripped (fully gripped)

[Chorus]

[Verse 2 - Bush]
Just call me, the war maker, bread taker
Nigga Breaker, the pocket raper, war scraper
May do me a favor, stay the fuck up out my way-a
The bomb that I can take it buddy to collect my paper
That might save ya, think of no anger, no player hater
No bumpin' heads, when it come to gettin' this paper
Im a player, runnin' wit the, hand that was dealt
Flippin' my work, ridin' the left, fully equipped
Aint fuckin' wit hoes, unless talkin 'bout bread
Duckin' these streets, givin' these strangers some head
Bringin' it back, makin' sho', my pockets swole
Workin' the streets, now they know they my hoes

[Cheney]
I must ain't had it, I gotta get it
Nothin' to lose, shoot me a stock tip, and watch me flip it
Shakin' these haters down the line, they somethin' wicked
You on a roll then pay yo' dues, then buy a ticket
Gather your cheddar 'round this world, there's nothin' better
But keep it boomin' like a system, thru any weather
Stackin' my green, that's somethin good, I'm on a mission
Trappin' hard just like I should, no penny pinchin'
And for the gold, we steady missin', and reminisin'
Buy some S, ain't even hittin', so stop yo' flippin
Cuz when I pull in all my cheese you besta know
There ain't no playin' wit my thang when you see my foe
Act like ya know

Welcome to the first monthly edition of Trollback for 2004. This edition has been a pleasure to put together, thanks to the sheer quantity of quality posts presented in The List.

omfg ror lolf

One of Trollback's regular duties is to skim through 20721 to make sure that any posts recorded there for peer review and gentlemanly competition are not missed when the time comes to assemble The List. jimmy o'leary has made 20721 readable; the team can laugh at funny crap as we skim through the wasteland. Trollback's favourite contribution is this:

> I am a trolling stalwart. Please consider me for president.

only if you tell me your stances on 1) death penalty 2) immigration 3) stem cell research and 4) omfg ror lolf

A round of applause for jimmy, please.

FortKnox

Moving along with the "affirmative action" theme of Trollback, we'd like to turn briefly to FortKnox. Despite promising Trollback a few cheap laughs, it would appear that FortKnox has not been able to follow through with the diary entry where he proclaimed that he was a troll, and damn good at it. The diary has been pulled, and trollback is only aware of one feeble attempt. The Trollback team respectfully requests that FortKnox be removed from the Troll Blacklist.

Thanks in advance.

Goatse.cx

As many of you will already know, the goatse.cx domain has been placed in registry lock mode. Many of you feel as if an important piece of Internet culture has been censored needlessly, although by now you're probably used to it. This is not the first time the goatse.cx domain has had troubles. You can read about the last time over at k5 here.

A bunch of articles commemorating the demise of goatse.cx were submitted to k5, although only this one was considered good enough by the unwashed masses for it to be posted on the front page.

OSDN Ad Parodies

Regular Trollback readers will recall last month's parodies of the OSDN Dating service advertisements. It would seem that OSDN is now running an advertisement for a magazine on open source called "wide open". The parody for this month can be viewed over at HuSi.

The List

(4,16,32) Krapangor | Fall of Western civilization ?
(3,12,16) Sheetrock | Look to the past for examples of future success.
(-1,8,29) Tirel | Why do we need two widgets?
(0,12,26) Gary Whittles | Re:I need to ask
(-1,8,17) ObviousGuy | Ever buy a car with auto-everything?
(3,21,36) ObviousGuy | BF Skinner was right
(-1,5,20) ObviousGuy | The problem is that the ISS is 'international'
(4,16,103) Tirel | Objectivity my arse
(1,30,102) Tirel | where is the peer review?
(0,5,9) Anonymous Coward | the Mac Zealot Translator a go-go!
(-1,9,31) SexyKellyOsbourne | Your tax dollars at work...
(5,12,19) radish | Re:HP CEO fails to understand basic economics
(-1,25,52) Tirel | it breaks easily
(-1,4,9) Anonymous Coward | Real world vs. fanboy fantasies
(3,32,136) Amsterdam Vallon | This is NOT right - Please DONATE to his fund
(0,5,11) egg troll | IPv6: Not Ready for Prime Time
(-1,14,39) Krapangor | Bad joke.
(1,16,95) Krapangor | Stupid.
(1,12,28) Krapangor | Clever
(1,25,59) sulli | No, only 0.9094 TB
(-1,8,30) ObviousGuy | Helium is a great chemical
(3,10,10) Krapangor | Who will win ?
(0,14,18) Krapangor | Problem.
(-1,8,11) Anonymous Coward | Re:speaking of IPv6 vs IPv4
(-1,13,28) ObviousGuy | If you gave the code away for Free
(-1,7,15) Krapangor | I am sick of this.
(5,11,66) egg troll | Ugh stop this cliche
(4,11,27) larry bagina | pot, kettle, black
(-1,7,13) benzapp | Re:Long live masculinity
(4,31,85) (1337) God | Sounds good, right? Here's the problem...
(-1,8,51) Sheetrock | There's one major reason I choose Python over Perl
(-1,5,11) Krapangor | Bad foundations.
(2,60,130) krog | Here are the IPs in question
(1,14,25) Krapangor | Rubbish.
(3,31,194) (1337) God | They don't care about us
(-1,7,16) Freston Youseff | Linux Cost Tax Payers at least $410M...nothing in
(5,13,37) Krapangor | Get non-tech certs
(-1,21,210) Forge | Congratulate "Sir William" and move on
(3,10,27) Anonymous Coward | Napster and Shawn Fanning
(0,12,34) ObviousGuy | Why does anyone give Lucas any more chances?
(4,18,32) Anonymous Coward | Not only Macs...

Honourable Mentions

• Krapangor posts great flamebait, first response sums it all up.
• Klerck: Microsoft Security. What's it all about? Is it good, or it is whack? Slashbots say whack.
• larry bagina starts the mother of all BSD vs Linux flamewars with a simple post we've all seen before. The war between ninejaguar and kirkjobsluder is something to behold.
• Eric does his best Big Gay Al impression.
• A slashbot gets his units wrong and a bunch of really helpful slashbots come to his rescue.
• Sheetrock posts something truly bizarre, gets moderated down as a troll.
• Tirel shows that patriotic NASA fan-boys are assholes.
• What is the second greatest achievement after Score: 5, Troll? Here's your answer.

Finally, you might remember hearing something about Linus putting on a pair of speedos for charity. The nice people at Fark.com ran a photoshop contest on a photo of Linus in his speedos. The winner is worth a laugh; the rest of the entries are pretty dull.

That's it for this month! ror

• Bill Clinton likes
• naked
• naked
• naked
• naked
• naked
• naked
• naked
• naked
• naked.

Happy leap year! Will your code keep working on February 29th?

--gal

Trollback is here with the last montly edition of Trollback to cover 2003. Trollback will post a year in review edition in the coming days, which will review some of the highlights of the year, as Trollback saw them.

The trollback team has struggled to put together the review. Trollback has a fair idea of what will make it and what will not, but would certainly like to hear from the community as to what the highlights were for you.

Perhaps some fresh perspective will help.

OSDN Dating Service

As if the zoo system wasn't enough of a black-book of booty calls, OSDN now has partnered with match.com to provide its readers with even more assistance in the difficult business of finding a girlfriend when you're addicted to linux. Some discussion on this topic has taken place at K5 and at HuSi.

The advertisement for this service is poorly photoshopped, perhaps one of many reasons why it has been parodied extensively [1, 2, 3, 4]. While we're on the subject, slashbots ponder if slashdot trolls are more or less lonely than they are.

Troll Blacklist

The Troll Blacklist project continues to censor many great users that Trollback reports on. This month saw the banning of FortKnox, who admitted that he was a troll and damn good at it in his widely read journal.

Trollback is not so sure about FortKnox's troll status, but if FortKnox or one of his many legions of adoring fans would like to submit a list of FortKnox's finest work, Trollback will feature that work in the January 2003 edition.

Elsewhere

Over at K5, Trollaxor managed to have three stories on the front-page at once. Strangely, not a single one had anything to do with politics. They are Sovereign Semiconductor, Cubing the Power Mac G5, and Linux vs. OpenBSD.

The List

(-1,21,98) Sheetrock | Science is a constantly evolving field
(5,20,61) Sheetrock | Time for better security.
(0,16,81) Overly Critical Guy | Well, well, well
(-1,23,40) Angram | Linux File System?
(4,10,25) Anonymous Coward | My suggestions.
(3,13,16) Exmet Paff Daxx | Are you sure this is a good idea?
(0,41,137) Amsterdam Vallon | I DON'T CARE -- I BUY MUSIC LATELY
(-1,2,66) Anonymous Coward | More American garbage
(1,13,150) adzoox | The geeks that clapped during the movie/review:
(0,16,75) rkz | Its crap but just as crap as anyone else
(1,10,19) Anonymous Coward | Myth: Linux is more secure than Windows NT.
(1,26,119) rkz | India
(0,9,15) Sheetrock | Looks good.
(-1,20,50) egg troll | Poor Taste in Title of Game
(-1,19,30) SexyKellyOsbourne | Your tax dollars at work, folks.
(2,12,17) Amsterdam Vallon | I was a National Weather Service researcher
(1,7,30) Anonymous Coward | Stigma? Try Porn Star
(-1,14,54) Amsterdam Vallon | My experience as a consultant for the Israelis
(-1,13,24) Amsterdam Vallon | 1975 - The year I consulted for Magnusson-Moss
(0,15,63) Amsterdam Vallon | In 2002, I researched the COSMIC background

Honourable mentions

• Return of the bitchslap
• Michael will enter you from behind
• rkz's slashbot book review
• Another attempt at a spelling troll

Don't forget to send in your Year in Review nominations.

That's it for this month!

Long story short, I've had a good year. Great job, short commute, and dating again. I've become focused, but with great flexibility. I'm not sweating the big stuff, or the small stuff. The good stuff is in the middle.

May your holidays be commercial-free,
$$$$$exyGal

============

• Santa - He's nude, dude - don't let the kids see this.
• knows if you're - Smart people know a lot.
• naughty - Naughty has a new meaning these days.
• or nice - Polite.

============

comments disabled

Rusty is a trollback fan

Trollback has many spies, and some of the more pallid, greasy ones keeps a close eye on IRC. One of our spies managed to unstick his keys long enough to alert us to this:

<rusty_afk> "The phrases "open source" and "enterprise ready" keep popping into Trollback's mind, but Trollback cannot figure out why."
<rusty_afk> heh
<rusty_afk> presumably the link is "phrases rusty has never said without a negation in between them..."

Moderation

Trollback is reluctant to engage in any moderation discussion, since social engineering is by its nature a fickle process, and everybody likes to think they have the one perfect solution. Unfortunately, not every organization is as modest. A brand new site, Everything In Moderation, promises to have all the answers for keeping trolls from peeing in your public pool.

Taco is well known for dancing around the issue of moderation-talk, relegating it to his journal, where virtually no one can post. Fortunately, Trollback regular Sheetrock is on-hand to translate Taco's journal, and provide a forum for us all. Still, there is some concern about the alternative of making moderation entirely open to the public. Trollback has some concerns, mostly about people having too much time.

Welcome back, Jack!

Although Trollback comes pretty close, nobody is perfect, and it turns out we have been failing to track the comments of upstanding consultant Jack Wagner. Rest assured this tragic oversight has been remedied, and the great man seems to have started posting again. Trollback welcomes you back!

By way of attonement, here is a selection of Trollback's favourite Wagner links: [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7]

The list

(-1,7,22) egg troll | My Experience with the Linux
(1,25,115) Sheetrock | Playing God, with hilarious results.
(0,9,12) Jack Wagner | Is this dangerous
(2,10,33) Anonymous Coward | it still has DRM
(-1,7,33) Anonymous Coward | This was not an accident
(1,11,92) Jack Wagner | Meanwhile
(1,12,22) GoatPigSheep | I could see this coming
(-1,11,26) Dancin_Santa | That's great!
(2,16,34) Zeinfeld | Re:Isn't Rock-n-Roll dead as well?
(1,8,15) Sheetrock | Although they're calling this memory
(1,15,31) Boromir son of Faram | enough
(-1,20,27) Sheetrock | Interesting thoughts...
(-1,10,23) Amsterdam Vallon | Not worth it
(5,13,43) Anonymous Coward | Re:Trust them
(4,19,108) Sheetrock | Not really fair to disclose this information.
(0,8,45) Anonymous Coward | Re:Passenger airships
(4,30,68) EmCeeHawking | My Experience
(3,8,12) Dancin_Santa | I'm a proponent of nuclear energy
(2,12,17) Anonymous Coward | Has a Microsoft release ever been compromised?
(2,8,11) Amsterdam Vallon | Why is there a need for this?
(1,6,14) Anonymous Coward | Re:Can't be done
(-1,6,63) GoatPigSheep | absolutely not
(0,18,128) Zeinfeld | Re:For the love of all that's good and holy

Honourable Mentions

• some great anime flamebait
• matrix spoilers never get old
• sheetrock finally gets a sig bite
• BsoF gets more username bites
• this gets without question the best point-by-point you'll ever see on slashdot.

Look forward to "Trollback 2003: a year in review" at the end of the month!

That's it for this month!

LIBERALS are SHIT.

Liberals should be sentenced to life terms at Gitmo. Or better yet killed.

=L*I*B*E*R*A*L*S=A*R*E=S*U*C*H=T*R*A*I*T*O*R*S=
* **V**O**T**E***F**O**R***R**O**Y***M**O**O**R**E** *4***P**R**E**Z***

=L*I*B*E*R*A*L*S=A*R*E=S*U*C*H=T*R*A*I*T*O*R*S=
* **V**O**T**E***F**O**R***R**O**Y***M**O**O**R**E** *4***P**R**E**Z***

It is nearly 400 years since Guy Fawkes was hanged, drawn, and quartered for attempting to poison the Queen of England. Once you've tired of celebrating his memory in the traditional way, why not come inside and treat yourself to the October 2003 edition of Trollback?

Slashdot news and happenings

Back in May we discussed the psychiatrist's dream that is HanzoSan. All good things must come to an end, and it seems the same is also true for HanzoSan. After some inspiring work, that which HanzoSan loves the most was taken away from him: karma. His comment history shows his karma has been decimated. Like a tree falling in the forest with no-one to hear it, HanzoSan cannot be heard without karma, and he has officially left the building. In a rare gesture of kindness, HanzoSan included a list of who to thank in his diary.

We welcome Pan T. Hose, who has already been a victim of CmdrTaco's secret powers. Not only does Pan T. Hose have three entries in The List, but he gets an honourable mention for starting one of the best threads of the month. Trollback looks forward to a long line of posts!

It was pointed out by Trollback follower x.c.v that we never reported on Mensa Babe. This was not intentional, so we now present a posthumous investigation into some of Mensa Babe's finest work as selected by fellow Trollback fan x.c.v: [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9]. Remember, if you see a user who shows potential, and we don't seem to be tracking said user, an email to Trollback's address or a post to 31337 goes a long way to rectifying the situation.

It seems to have been a bad month for our favorite glorified blogs. It seems that everyone have received their fair share of 5xx errors after triggering boundary conditions by, say, clicking on a story link, discussed by Taco in journal entries. Now I know you keep telling us there's never going to be a Meta section, but honestly Rob, a rose by any other name...

Elsewhere

Slashdot's 5xx problems were minor compared to the trials of k5. An age-old problem in systems maintenance is how to create a test environment that can be guaranteed to perform exactly as the live environment does. Fortunately, Mr Foster had a brilliant solution to this problem: test major changes on the live server. What followed was a month of turmoil, where the site was seemingly more down than up. This problem finally seems to be under control, for reasons possibly not unrelated to the fact that the servers only have to handle a fraction of the requests they used to thanks to a large exodus of the userbase. The phrases "open source" and "enterprise ready" keep popping into Trollback's mind, but Trollback cannot figure out why.

After a lengthy hiatus, Adequacy.org has resurfaced in the form of an archive. Although a static site, there are links to all of the comments that made Adequacy.org fun. The world is once again safe from teenage hackers.

The List

(4,6,45) Anonymous Coward | Re:Here is the text...
(-1,19,32) Anonymous Coward | mp3 music is illegal
(5,14,109) mao che minh | Cool
(0,16,57) Dancin Santa | I kind of like SiteFinder
(1,21,65) Dancin Santa | Losing the Insert key
(0,7,13) egg troll | Such a waste of money
(2,12,114) Tyreth | Starlight and time
(0,18,79) larry bagina | slashdot == sexist
(1,13,18) Krapangor | Why should be decent product activation evil ?
(0,8,18) egg troll | Why are they backing off?
(5,9,33) Pan T. Hose | Funny
(4,32,87) Anonymous Coward | Availability of the DNC
(5,9,33) Pan T. Hose | Interesting
(0,14,49) Krapangor | Java ?
(1,9,58) Pan T. Hose | I am sick of it
(2,24,65) Anonymous Coward | True costs of Linux (egg troll)
(2,11,24) Sheetrock | It makes sense.
(1,17,120) downix | While I like the idea...
(3,18,53) Dancin Santa | GPL == Communism, and I like it that way
(2,25,74) Sheetrock | I don't really like it (yet)
(-1,10,15) Michael's a Jerk! | MS works for me (Not a troll, please read) (egg troll)
(-1,15,22) Michael's a Jerk! | As a record store owner.

Honourable Mentions

• Pan T. Hose proves that your average slashbot does not know how lossy music compression works, even if they depend on it for their livelihood.
• A bit of pessimism goes a long way.
• The USA is No. 1!

That's it for this month!