Realities of IT:
-You will only get true respect from other people down similar career paths.
-How do you work for a software company that has only 1 IT staff member out of 60?
-You "try to be friendly, helpful, bla bla bla" you mistake here is you try. Do what comes natural and beat the next person who pisses you off down to the ground. This will help you resolve your original respect issue.
Real ways to get respect in the IT world:
-Learn, read, break, tinker, read... read more... read till you hate reading. Then one day, you will find respect from other members of the IT community
-Save your company money somehow and make it known. If we implement X solution vs. (some lame way your company does something) you will save X dollars. Your partners, chief officer, manger, director, president, types will respect you
-End users love to feel special. When they feel special you will get respect. Try:
-Make strict policies and enforce them. Create some justification.
-Relax these polices for certain people that are "in with you". This works in two ways. One, these ppl will "respect you" simply because they don't want X feature disabled. Other people will respect you because they want X feature enabled
-Which brings us to human nature. Reality check, most ppl don't get what you do, so they have no respect for what you do. Either find ways to relate to them (Save money, bring in new technology that changes their lives, or take power over them (strict polices)
Lastly, shoot for making people happy about 25% of the time. Some ppl here are going to say that number is way too high.
I'm so stupid burned out from yet another 14 hour day so I hope this all is coherent. Oh... about that... trust me when I tell your respect is probally the smallest problem your career choice will present you :)