I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have found myself in a similar situation.. not too similar I hope.
Some minor pain led me to noticed a very large right submandibular lymph node.. it's huge, pretty sure it's my lymph node.. it sort of 'comes out' when I bend my head forward, near the carotid artery.. It's very firm to the touch, has been this way for 4 weeks now,
I have been to the doctor, a couple in fact... both think it's nothing, both offered a course of anti-biotics (which I of course took) thing is still the same, I don't think it's growing but I have no idea how long it took to get this big, because i noticed it suddenly (it was very sore that day, whole area was sore/hot to the touch)... One doc finally offered an ultrasound but here's the real kicker
I have health insurance, but I am still unable to do anything! I have 'disaster' health insurance (through my employer, no less!) High deductible ($10k!) I make so little at my current job, with rent, etc.. I cannot afford to meet my deductible. I can't even afford the damn ultra-sound. My savings (small as it was) was demolished by a suspicious mole that required multiple treatments and ended up costing me so much money I couldn't believe it. So what do I do?
I've taken the worst possible route so far; I've tried to ignore it and hope it goes away. I know this is the worst possible outcome, but what else do I do? I could go get -all- the treatment/tests I needed for awhile, because the way my insurance works is they perform whatever, bill my insurance, then I get a bill months later.. So do I basically just stiff these medical establishments? Are they forced to accept payment? For my mole stuff I asked them about payments, and they said they wanted the money right now! What does someone like me do in a situation like this? I'm saving money for the ultrasound, but at the pace I'm able to right now.. I don't know what to do
Guess I'm rambling.. but honestly I'm scared to death and just am at a loss, hah