A - Accent: None. It's really the oddest thing, but no one ever remarks on me having an accent.

B - Breakfast Item: Orange or apple juice

C - Chore you hate: . . . are there any I don't hate? I really need a house-husband, what can I say?

D - Dad's Name: Jerald Dean (masculine version of Geraldine - his parents really wanted a girl)

E - Essential everyday item: Water - minimum of a couple liters

F - Flavour ice cream: Mint chocolate-chip

G - Gold or Silver?: Silver, I guess, since that's the basic shade of my watch.

H - Hometown: Santa Clara, CA

I - Insomnia: Nope - any lack of sleep is wholly related to gaming or reading

J - Job Title: Technical Support Representative

K - Kids: 3 wonderful teenagers - one raised by adoptive parents and two by me

L - Living arrangements: Sharing apartment with brother - kids every weekend

M - Mom's birthplace: Monterey, CA (not 100% sure about that)

N - Number of significant others you've ever had: One - if you count a spouse (ex now) as a significant other. I'm not particularly up on what an SO can include.

O - Overnight hospital stays: Three. Equal to the number of kids I've had. Or four if I count sleeping at the hospital when my daughter was pretty sick (three nights).

P - Phobia: None, I'm afraid.

Q - Queer?: No, just flat out weird.

R - Religious Affiliation: None. Raised a Jehovah's Witness, one daughter being raised Jewish, other two baptized Catholic, but I don't do the afilliation thing.

S - Siblings: Two brothers, two sisters, two half-brothers, two half-sisters, and a step-sister. (My mom had a total of nine and the wicked stepmother brought along her one.)

T - Time you wake up: As late as possible to get to work sort of on time - 7:05. On weekends? Whenever I want - depends on how late we stayed up.

U - Unnatural hair colours you've worn: None. Before now I've had highlights (those old-fashioned barely-noticeable kind) and I've occasionally dyed the ends of my hair which bleach out from the sun so they match the rest. However, I did just dye my hair this weekend to a color not natural for me - a deep red-brown (mahogany) - which looks rather nice.

V - Vegetable you refuse to eat: Okra ... very bad memories of gagging on those.

W - Worst habit: Biting my nails. I don't do it anymore, but when I was younger I bit them back so bad that the point where the nail separates from the finger is pretty far back ... which makes them weaker and even when they grow out they look short.

X - X-rays you've had: Dental and spinal

Y - Yummy: Truffles - had some great French ones the other day - mmmm chocolate perfection.

Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces (though I fit the Aries description better most of the time)

The rules and explanation of the exercise can be found in Shadow Wrought's journal.

Aboard the Maric Colony Spacecraft, a malevolent parasite plagued Terrence, the oldest refugee from Terra Seguana (which had become uninhabitable after the eruption of a hitherto unknown volcano). Terrence absent-mindedly adjusted the valve connecting the boiler to the generator. His last thought as he wound up smeared like jam on his prize photograph of heavy-weight boxer Mohammed Ali was that he really craved some onion rings.

Okay, I'm going to actually make some real New Year's Resolutions and see where they take me. Most of these are already in progress or are tangent to other things in progress since I make decisions to change things all the time. However, these give me a little more concrete goal to work toward. The last is because I believe enjoying life is as important as everything else combined.

1) I resolve to exercise at least three times a week and keep track of certain stats so I can see the improvement.

2) I resolve to finish my resume, print it out, and get it to at least the one person who keeps asking for it.

3) I resolve to purchase a minimum of two more slacks and four shirts/blouses that would be appropriate for a less casual workplace.

4) I resolve to be on time for work every day rather than within a half-hour so there's no bs about tardiness when I turn in my notice.

5) I resolve to fly a kite, go swimming at the beach, go hiking at Castle Rock and Big Basin, and do more star-gazing this year.

1) What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

Got 2x my monthly rent in savings. This is the first time in my life I've actually got a reserve and am not living paycheck to paycheck.

2) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Well, looking back at a journal entry last year, I didn't really accomplish the things I wanted. Of course, I didn't really make resolutions so much as throw around some ideas of what I wanted to do. So this year I will make some resolutions rather than a half-assed "well, maybe I'll do this and that".

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?

No one close, but a number of acquaintances have larger families.

4) Did anyone close to you die?

Again, no one close. However, the most shocking death was one of our customers whom I've helped often who died in a small plane crash only a little over a week ago.

5a) What countries did you visit?

I don't travel much, so none.

or 5b) What was the best new food you learned to cook?

I don't cook much, so none. I did try my hand teaching my daughter the fine art of the pie crust though. Haven't made one since cooking class in junior high school. It was edible, and better than the factory-produced things from Costco, but could have been better. Practice makes perfect (but adds lots of pounds).

6) What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?

A pet. It's unlikely to happen though, since I want a large dog (Rottweiler or long-haired German Shepherd - that type), and the only way I'm getting one is with a house that has a fenced yard which I can't afford.

7) What date(s) from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Etched? I don't think anything that memorable happened this year (good or bad).

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting my taxes filed and a payment plan set up. Hadn't done that since I moved my kids to live with my ex's mother years ago and couldn't claim them as dependents. It's not paid off yet, but getting this far was a major achievement.

9) What was your biggest failure?

Not making any real plans, so I didn't get anywhere. Vague ideas of what I want just aren't enough.

10) Did you suffer any illness or injury?

Not exactly - just some back/neck trouble and some severe headaches. I've got those under control for now.

11) What was the best thing you bought?

Depends on what I consider the criteria for best. There is the bass guitar for my son which is the best gift I've ever gotten him.

12) Whose behavior merited celebration?

All the quiet, unsung heroes who gave of their time, money, homes, and energy to the victims of the natural disasters this year seemed to be full of. Not the ones who got media play or made sure we knew they were helping, but the ones who simply jumped in to help as soon as the need was there.

13) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

There were lots of people whose behavior was appalling, but why should I let the behavior of scum make me depressed? There are far more people whose behavior was not appalling and they are the ones I want to know about.

14) Where did most of your money go?

Rent, food (especially eating out at lunch), and spoiling my kids.

15) What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Watching the space station go overhead a couple nights ago. Whenever we can, my brother and I try to catch a glimpse.

16) What song will always remind you of 2005?

Er, I don't listen to lyrics much - or I don't listen to songs with a lot of lyrics. Plus this year was pretty forgettable.

17) Compared to this time last year, are you...
i. Happier or sadder?

Happier. Late 2004 is I finally confronted my ex on a few things and made the clean break I should have when our divorce was final in 1996. So this year has been about emptying away all the old hopes and dreams and making room for new ones.

ii. Thinner or fatter?

Thinner, but not by enough to be excited. (Seven pounds in one year? I quit trying mid-year, but at least I didn't backpedal.)

iii. Richer or poorer?

Richer, both in money (love that savings balance) and budding friendships.

18) What do you wish you'd done more of?

Hiking. Without my car I don't get to go hiking much at all and I seriously miss the nature without city sounds.

19) What do you wish you'd done less of?

Procrastinating on chores around the house. It's bad when I'm avoiding the kitchen so I don't have to remember there's a sink full of dishes to wash.

20) How will you be spending New Year's?

Probably logged in to Guild Wars dancing with a whole bunch of other addicts. :P Not sure if my kids will be here or at their dad's ... if they're here it will be different.

21) Did you fall in love in 2005?

No, but then I haven't been particularly social in real life. Online is a whole different story, but I wouldn't fall in love with an online persona, so that gets me nowhere.

23) How many one-night stands?

None. Let's just say I got that out of my system when I was 19 and 20. There won't ever be another.

24) What was your favorite TV program?

Do DVDs of TV series count? I've been thoroughly enjoying Stargate ... only have season 8 to go and I'm caught up.

25) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No, I don't waste the energy on hating people.

26) What was the best book you read?

Alphabet of Thorns by Patricia A. McKillip. In fact, every one of her novels I've read so far has been a delight.

27) What was your greatest musical discovery?

That I can still read music even though I only took lessons when I was nine or ten and have usually played by ear since.

28) What did you want and get?

I wanted a scale I could trust to give me the same number if I stepped off and back on. My last scale could vary five pounds up or down, so keeping track of my weight and trend was impossible.

29) What did you want and not get?

New bath towels - preferably large, fluffy and dark green or dark blue. But only because I haven't gone shopping for them yet.

30) What was your favorite film of this year?

Not sure - I dropped out of movie-watching midyear and have been a Netflix junkie since, so I have no idea what year things came out in. Oh, wait ... Mr. and Mrs. Smith was this year, wasn't it? Ooh, yeah, I really liked that one.

31) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I don't remember (without pulling up a calendar I don't even know what day of the week it was on). I was 36 (still am, too).

32) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Changing jobs to a company that has regular benefits, vacations, and management. Working for a small place where the boss works when she feels like it and everyone is rather lackadaisical about getting stuff done may not have much stress, but the business is going nowhere.

33) how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?

Is it dirty? Does it have more holes than it should? Toss - otherwise wear.

34) What kept you sane?

The same thing that keeps me sane every night, Pinky. Trying to take over the world. Ahem. Based on accepting the argument that I am sane in the first place, I'm not sure what keeps me sane. Certainly not genetics, circumstances, or environment. Personality perhaps.

35) Which celebrity did you feel the most sorry for?

I don't. Celebrities aren't worth feeling sorry for. Of course I don't envy them either. Scorn ... well, there are quite a few deserving of that.

36) What political issue stirred you the most?

Oddly enough it isn't any one issue that got me riled up. It's the idiot extremists on both sides who turn local and personal situations into fodder for their agendas.

37) Who did you miss?

No one - I even got to see more of my siblings this year than usual.

38) Who were the best new people you met?

Um, did I meet anyone new this year (in real life)? No. That's a real problem I need to work on this year. I'm not lonely, so I don't seek out people, but it would be nice to make some new friends.

39) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005

I can burn out on the things I enjoy most, so balance really is key.

40) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year

Err, back to the song lyrics. I can think of several, but none that sums up my year. Something about good beginnings perhaps, because while I didn't actually accomplish much, I've done a number of things and made a start on certain changes.

BONUS: Who are you that you weren't a year ago?

I'm not sure yet, but I'm actually trying to figure it out which is new. Hopefully I have a better answer for this next year.

YIKES, this thing is long.

Well, first a belated Merry Xmas to anyone who actually celebrated it for any reason, a happy Chanukkah to those who celebrate that (which probably includes my first daughter whose adoptive mother is Jewish), and a "Thankfully that's over with" or a "Hip Hip Hooray, the days are gonna start getting longer again" for the rest of us.

===============

For the first year since my kids were born I didn't have to do any of the Christmas shopping for them (both gifts for them and the gifts they got for others). That was massively freeing - none of the commercial aspect of the season to deal with. I did get my kids gifts of a sort, but without having to buy the first and the second being put off till after Christmas. The first was a 30G iPod video my company's owner in her great wisdom and insight (yeah, laying on the sarcasm thick there) got for all the full-time employees. Errr, yeah. I have an mp3 player I'm completely happy with and a PSP - and a distaste for the control setup on the iPod. My son, however, had (yes, had, let me finish the story here) an iPod mini from last year's commencement that he really enjoyed. Hmmmmm, younger sister's mp3 player is broken, son has his 6G iPod mini about 1/4 full already and lots more songs he wants .... brilliant flash of an idea there. So I show my son the new iPod still in the box. On his own the same brilliant flash. Call my daughter (she managed to catch a plague too) and mention that I have this new iPod I don't really want. She has the exact same brilliant flash. Ultimately, my son now has the new iPod (why couldn't transferring all the songs from one to the other have been easier - sigh), my daughter has the iPod mini, and I have the joy of seeing both of them sitting around delighted in their new toys. That worked out better than anything I could have planned. :D Now for their birthdays in February and March. Probably gift-certs for music (whether CD or songs is up to them). They have a Rasputin Music nearby with excellent prices on CDs, so we'll probably go that way.

Oh, yeah, that after -Christmas thing. Well the computer at their dad's house died a month ago and finally got tossed. They don't need a gaming rig, and the printer and monitor are still there, so we'll be watching the specials and getting them something a bit more modern. Even more important, it will be one that I can set up with proper protection since spyware, adware, viruses, and other nasty bugs were a large part of the old one's demise. Not from my kids, but from everyone else who lives or visits there and uses (read abuses) that computer. From an older second cousin staying for a month and downloading oodles of porn to young cousins who want to download all sorts of games to other adults who don't know the front end of a computer from the back, there wasn't a lot of care taken to keep the old one in good condition. We'll see how much better I can set this new one up.

Actually, I should consider a another one here at my house. We currently have four computers: mine (dual-boot linux and Win2K), my brother's (was solely linux until I got him hooked on Guild Wars - now has Win2K dual boot), one for my son to use in the living room (having three of us together in Guild Wars rocks), and the last one for my daughter. She's not a gamer, so she's got the leftovers - we had enough lying around to put it together and it works for her surfing and IM'ing and drawing and scanning and so on. But it is notably slower and would only work with Linux (Windows was incapable of figuring out the ethernet even with the drivers installed, while Mandrake stepped up to the plate quickly and easily.) She's fine either way - happy with GIMP and delighted with Kopete.

Seen in lots of people's Journals today:

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
Animal Caretaker (at the fair when it was in town)
Salesperson (patio furniture, BBQs, and pets)
Reception/Cashier
Technical Support

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
Top Gun (I still cry when Goose dies)
Sound of Music (Do Re Mi)
House of Flying Daggers
Terminator I and II

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED IN
San Jose, CA
Campbell, CA
Santa Clara, CA
New York, NY (Brooklyn)

And, aside from somewhere in AL when I was about two, that's it :D

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH
(I don't actually watch TV these days)
Stargate (DVDs from NetFlix)
Farscape (from brother's TIVO back when it was playing)
Babylon 5 (up till it left UPN)
Naruto (downloaded fansubs)

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION
Grand Canyon (AZ)
Denver, CO
Casper, WY
home

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY
Slashdot (though not as daily as I used to)
del.icio.us (with links to all my comics)
gmail
errr ... any of the daily comics I follow :D

FOUR OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOODS
chocolate
ice cream
steak - medium rare
pumpkin pie

FOUR PLACES YOU'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW
home
in a space colony
on walkabout in the Australian outback
on a cruise ship in the Carribean

Wow, time flies. Especially when one purchases a copy of Guild Wars. My very own version of EverCrack - except it doesn't cost me money to play. Just time. And sleep. Lots and lots of lost sleep. (Worse, I've addicted two other family members already.)

Add to that finding a new author whose writing style is incredibly drawing - lyrical and very appropriate to the story being told. I'm surprised anything else has gotten accomplished lately. (Oh, the author is Patricia A. McKillip and the genre is fantasy. Two I've really enjoyed so far are "Song of the Basilisk" and "Alphabet of Thorns".)

Had quite an interesting weekend. My daughter has a boyfriend - they got together a couple weeks ago. Friday evening her dad got to meet him. As she and her brother got dropped off at my house, he told them he's going to pick them up for lunch and a talk the next day. The "TALK" (best said in the voice from Toy Story for "the Claw" to defuse the tension) we guessed to be something like a birds and the bees kind of thing or a "no dating till you're 25" Latino father kind of thing. Turns out we were completely wrong. The fact she has a boyfriend simply woke him up to the fact that they aren't little kids anymore and he doesn't know much about what's going on in their lives. So he asked questions - lots of them - and got more involved.

I have to admit I'm impressed and incredibly relieved by his response. She's tending toward rebellion with a couple of authority figures in her life as it is and would probably have ignored him and snuck around. She always did respond better to explanations ("cars are big and heavy and will flatten you") than directions ("don't run into the road").

My son's reaction to all this was "why do I have to be included" and "i'm not ready for a girlfriend". Smart kid. He sees all the drama at school and knows it isn't worth it or more accurately he hasn't met the girl yet who would make it worthwhile. He reminds me of myself in his more adult perspective on things (not just girls). He's already looking into after-school work, where he wants to go to college, etc. and he's only a freshman.

After all that was done we had pumpkin pie to make. My daughter has expressed a serious interest in becoming a chef, so I'm trying to teach her from what little I remember of cooking in Junior High. We failed to chill the water enough so the crust was obstinate and of course it wound up a little overworked (natural since rolling dough is fun). But the filling was mmmmmmmmm - just perfect. We're going to try it again in a few weeks using what we learned.

Have a great long weekend everyone. Enjoy those you love and those who love you.

Having wondered a bit about black holes recently, imagine my surprise and delight in this news. So, black holes may very well do more than just absorb everything around them.

From the descriptions of everyone's mornings, I can only determine that we have gone back in time to relive Monday.

What can I say about the new look for /.? Well, last night in Firefox it was an atrocious mess. Couldn't get to more than a couple messages before being 503'd to death. Pages were picking random colors (journal entries would go to the ugly IT color), the Slashdot logo in the top left would completely disappear and icons would scatter all over the page. This morning in IE (blame work for that) it looks okay. The text is not as aesthetic, perhaps, but it is actually cleaner and easier to read in some spots. Some of it reminds me of Technocrat - faint praise, I suppose. I do plan on playing around with CSS to see what I can't do to make it look MY way.

Talked to a customer yesterday who is in Longview, TX. They were finishing up and hunkering down even though they aren't in the direct path of Rita. Made me realize that I am thankful to live in earthquake territory rather than hurricane territory. I was born and raised with earthquakes - to the degree that a 5.0 shaker on the Richter scale has me saying "Cool, a quake". Stay safe everyone.

I had a realization in reading through some of the responses to my last JE - not everyone is as fascinated with questions as I am. For some a question is just something that needs to be answered. The question has little or no importance; only the answer is valued. For some a question is part of some test or quiz to determine if they are smart enough. The question is a challenge or even a chance to show off. For some a question is either a disguise or a vehicle for the true motives or bias of the asker. For some a question is an assault, an attack on their own ideas and beliefs. For some questions are an annoyance. There are so many ways to hear and ask and view questions.

For me questions are my primary means of exploring the universe. There is a cryptic beauty to a question for which I do not have an answer. My pleasure comes in the journey, twisting and turning along the trails created by the whys and what ifs and woulds and coulds in my mind. To simply look up an answer without the journey is to deny myself all the questions I might have asked along the way.

What is the newest musical instrument? Asking this question I find it necessary to wonder whether a synthesizer counts as a new instrument in its own right. Later an odd thought pops into my head as to whether the lack of real innovation in musical instruments is a sign of cultural stagnation. So now I have to wonder what would be a real innovation, and that takes me off into trying to remember what classes of instruments there are besides wind, string, and percussion. I may never actually find the answer to my original question, but I will have learned an astonishing number of things and will have many different directions of thought to continue wandering.

Just some random thoughts that have been going through my head for a couple weeks now - no coherency or real point yet.

=============

Exchange is the keystone of the universe. A natural exchange is balanced. Human exchanges are often unbalanced by a profit mentality - approaching exchanges with an eye to coming out better off than when one started. Unbalanced exchange underlies many problems in society. Exchange is not only the obvious and simple - a man putting a coin down and picking up an apple. Where and how he got that coin, where and how the apple was grown, how much he leaves as the core and what he does with the core and seeds, how the coin is respent by the vendor, all of that are part of the complete exchange. For example, if that coin was worth a full day's wages for hard labor, the exchange appears very unbalanced, just as it would if that coin was given him for poking a single hole in the dirt. Even those are assigned values based on perception. Had that single hole in the dirt been his work of planting an apple seed, and he continued to water and care for it until maturity, we might consider all fruit of the tree his due and a single apple well worth the coin. An exchange has nothing to do with money, but many people no longer see an exchange except in terms of money.

=============

The human body has multiple senses. We know the five main ones - sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. I know someone who refers to a sense of balance. I personally know I have an inner compass sense. We can sense the pull of gravity, though we are so accustomed to 1G that we don't pay attention unless it changes. Quite a few people are empathic - able to sense other's emotions even without visual or other clues. What other senses are there? How many do we not use because there is seldom a change in what we sense? The main five involve either particles (touch, taste, and smell) or waves (sight and hearing).

=============

I've heard plenty of black hole theory about how they form and what happens as they grow. However, what happens when a black hole ages (since I don't get the idea they are eternal)? If a black hole were to completely consume the galaxy within which it formed, would it have enough mass to attract the next closest galaxy? If not, what would happen as no further matter or energy could be consumed? What would happen if a black hole consumed another black hole? Could a black hole dying possibly be the birth of a galaxy - a miniature "big bang"?

===========

Many people think the speed of light is the fastest something could go. What if things that travel much faster are just beyond our ability to measure?

===========

What if humanity should be in the middle of an evolutionary cycle and we are aborting it by protecting everyone? Will a day come when humanity dies out because we cannot adapt our environment fast enough and we have prevented the necessary adaptions to the environment by testing for and, where possible, eliminating birth defects?

===========

Those who are intelligent and wise do not necessarily have all the right opinions and right answers. Those who are foolish and stupid are not always wrong. To be capable of gaining the most knowledge, it is necessary to be able to hear and consider all opinions without rejecting outright those that disagree with one's own position. All known facts must be open to review or a danger exists of missing some new truth.

Over and over again the same story repeats itself. Some event occurs and everyone seems to have an opinion - most particularly opinions of the 20-20 hindsight variety. So-and-so should have done such-and-such, this should have been bought, that should have been paid, this person is guilty, that person is innocent, the president is doing the best he can, the president is a moron (or worse) - every imaginable opinion and quite a few unimaginable ones are spouted and even the most unrelated are somehow connected to the event.

New Orleans is one of these events - a massive tragedy. Opinions are flying all over the place ... and doing no one any good. To a family whose home and the vast majority of whose possessions have been buried under several feet of water, opinions are useless. Does it matter that something should (could) have done about the levee beforehand? Nope. Do President Bush's actions or inactions mean anything? Nope. Does it matter whether the people of New Orleans ultimately decide to rebuild or to relocate? Nope.

The things that matter are rescue for those unable to escape, delivery of drinkable water and edible food, medical triage and cleanup (corpses and sewage in water during summer is an ideal breeding ground for disease), and the provision of warm (or cool, in this case) and dry shelter. Not a single opinion out there delivers any of that. Only the actions of volunteers and the funds provided via charities and organizations are useful right now. And here's a real interesting bit of personal observation ... those I know who are spouting the most opinions are doing the least to actually help, while those who are actually helping are too busy to spout opinions.

I got a call from my sister - the one who has been having problems. She's been seeing a therapist as well as taking drugs for anxiety attacks and depression. She recently was diagnosed as having PostTraumatic Stress Disorder. She called because she had an amazing revelation and felt she had to tell someone. She realized she isn't crazy (at least not in the straight-jacket, padded room sense) and she isn't the only one going through these kinds of things. I really hope this is a real breakthrough. I have to say I'm rather afraid it is nothing more than a momentary up from her drug cocktail (at least one of which was doubled in dosage a week past). Either way, I am very happy for her in this moment whether it lasts or not.

It is odd to hear such a different perspective on our childhood. I've always been a natural loner and very independent. She was very social and sensitive. What we went through affected me, but nowhere near as much as it did her. I know our childhood was screwed up, but I'd always thought it was just poor parenting, or at most some emotional and verbal abuse with a smattering of physical abuse. I've talked with both her and our brothers and heard some stories that make me wonder about the blanks in my own memory.

My father did believe in discipline as in "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, there is a clear difference in the few memories I have between discipline (the last paddling I got was for lying to his face) and abuse. One vivid memory I would call abuse was an occasion when our father paddled this sister demanding that she say "I love you" to our stepmother. I remember her screaming "child abuse" as she was crying and being hit repeatedly. Running through my mind was the idea that it was her fault for not just saying the words - it wasn't like they would mean anything. It's shameful to think of that now ... to know I thought at the time she at least sort of deserved the spanking. Thinking about it I realized that much of my memory lapse may not be from abuse I personally suffered so much as abuse I witnessed and felt powerless to prevent (or, worse, was complicit with).

She has many more memories of abuse than I do - ones that keep her up at night because she fears the nightmares. She told me that I used to let her share the bed with me when she had panic attacks as a kid. I don't remember that, but it does sound like the kind of thing I would do. She tells me about times our father would beat our brothers for not being quiet and going to sleep. I don't remember that, though I do recall the way we would all six of us kids go dead silent at night when our father would come out of his room asking who was still awake and talking.

I sincerely hope she continues to improve. It sounds like she's on the right track and the therapist has done a great job so far. Don't give up, sis.

Meme thing from queenofthe1ring

Summary: 67 of 123 - 54.7715477154771% - slightly more than half

( ) smoked a cigarette - never have, never will
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car - never have, never will
(x) been in love - only once in the head-over-heels way
(x) been dumped - for the fourth "other woman"
(x) shoplifted - never got caught, but quit when I decided it was wrong
(x) been fired - not exactly fired, but it was a forced resignation
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house - more likely to sneak in than out
( ) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend - who hasn't at some point?
(x) skipped school - only once to see what it was like ... boring
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your internet friends
(x) been to Canada - once when I was 6 months old
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane - once when I was 6 months old (to Canada, obviously)
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire - sane pyros don't burn themselves
(x) eaten sushi - yuck, yuck, and yuck - that will never happen again
( ) been skiing
(x) met someone from the internet - only once, though
( ) been at a concert
(x) taken painkillers - if Advil counts
(x) love someone or miss someone right now - my kids ... how easy was that?
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite - many, many of these
(x) built a sand castle - many, many of these as well
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves - ouch, some bad memories there
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game - cheating at solitaire takes real skill
( ) been lonely - nope, I'm a natural loner
(x) fallen asleep at work/school -- ZZZZ
( ) used a fake ID - never had to, some of us girls just had to know the bouncers
(x) watched the sun set - even took a really neat photo once
(x) felt an earthquake - I live in California
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled - or at least they tried - I'm not ticklish
(x) been robbed - first time was a purse grabbed by a guy on a bike
(x) been misunderstood - all the time since I tend to jump around topics very quickly
(x) petted a reindeer /kangaroo - interesting petting zoos we had, yes
(x) won a contest - a radio contest - only time I ever won something
(x) run a red light/stop sign - twice: 1) a complete accident 2) brakes failed
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car crash - one I caused which is even worse
(x) had braces - and a headpiece and a bionator (but my wisdom teeth came in years later without a problem)
( ) felt like an outcast/third person - I've always been weird and on the fringes, but never like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - too hot to eat much else
(x) had deja vu - not the past life kind, only the remembering places I had been this life
(x) danced in the moonlight - naked under the full moon on a summer night is best
(x) liked the way you looked - once I let my hair be long and straight I did
(x) witnessed a crime - but never acted as a witness
(x) questioned your heart - lots, but since then I've learned to listen more closely
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes - never have, never will
( ) squished barefoot through the mud
( ) been lost - can't, I have an inner compass that never fails me
(x) been on the opposite side of the country - lived in NY for four months
(x) swam in the ocean - both Atlantic and Pacific, in fact (Santa Cruz is the best)
( ) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep - the death of Princess Di came a few days after my marriage ended for good - I cried a lot those days
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons
( ) sung karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins - Taco Bell asked for it with those commercials showing people scrounging in sofas
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't do - all the time; I also don't do things I tell myself to do
(x) made prank phone calls - only to my ex when he was with his other women
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain - I'm singing in the rain.
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus - who? Don't know that dude.
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach - just had to be specific to a beach, huh?
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true - course, like all wishes, it didn't work out the way I expected
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top - no fear of heights here
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs - scared my kids the first time
(x) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours
(x) stayed up all night - max time without sleep was 63 hours
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree - like a monkey
( ) had a tree house
( ) scared to watch a scary movie alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes - I own a measly three (sneakers, hiking boots, and sandals)
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school - that's all my parents got me
( ) gone streaking - naked is fine, but I'm not getting arrested for it
( ) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played gay chicken? - thank you FK, but I really didn't need to know
( ) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all your clothes on
(x) told you're hot by a complete stranger - never was comfortable with that
( ) broken a bone - never have, hopefully never will (milk, it does a body good)
(x) been easily amused - hey, this whole list is amusing me. What does that tell you?
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly - for a class project, sadly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test -the teacher wouldn't believe the student who snitched
(x) forgotten someone's name - all the time, so I'm very good at not using names
( ) french braided someone's hair - I'm all thumbs
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house - parent's never did and every place since has been mine
(x) loved someone so much you would gladly die for them - my kids, but I love them so much I would rather not die because that would hurt them, too

My own addition:

(x) actually read through everyone else's meme that I saw

On Lawn has a JE on a Children's Bill of Rights, though be forewarned of the very deliberate intent to make an argument against gay marriage by proclaiming a right to be raised the child's two biological parents. I'm not even going to touch on that here since I consider it unrealistic and politically motivated. However, it did made me think about what I would write as rights, so here goes:

Children's Bill of Rights

1) Every child has the right to adequate food of sufficient nutrional value to support his life and provide for his growing body.

2) Every child has the right to a place of residence adequate to protect him from the elements and clean enough to protect him from unnecessary disease or infection.

3) Every child has the right to clean clothing that fits reasonably well, provides adequate protection from the elements, and meets societal standards for coverage.

4) Every child has the right to unconditional love from the adults in his life.

5) Every child has the right to a basic education in the fundamentals all humans can be expected to know such as language and manners.

6) Every child has the right to only be disciplined fairly for understood wrongs that he is guilty of.

7) Every child has the right to be respected as a sentient being.

8) Every child has the right to be protected from deliberate harm and maliciousness.

9) Every child has the right to develop his own beliefs as he matures.

10) Every child has the right to be informed of his genetic and cultural heritage.

11) Every child has the right of ownership of his own person and cannot be bought, traded or exchanged for money or goods.

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Any thoughts on these rights or other rights I might not have thought of? This list was built from my own experiences as a child, my experience with my own children, and the experiences of others I have an awareness of. Thought I tend more towards liberal, I've tried to pay close attention to avoiding political motivations. I am interested in those rights that could apply equally to any child under any circumstances. I may add some more later since I have a few others in mind that don't fit my own criteria of generality.