be sure to stock up on adequate quantities of Doritos and Diet Dr. Pepper

Nope, the FDA banned them this morning.

Suppose I started marketing an HIV test, or a Hepatitis C test, or a tuberculosis test without demonstrating the test was effective? The FDA would be on me like shit on stink, and rightly so

Please cite me the part of the federal food, drug, and cosmetic act which says they have the authority. They have jurisdiction over the following: food, drugs, medical devices, food additives, and dietary supplements.
Naturally, the kneejerk progressives already modded down my post... so thanks for responding, instead.

The FDA decided in 2010 that services claiming to evaluate a customer's risk of disease must be cleared by regulators if the companies sell directly to consumers

So a bunch of un-elected bureaucrats decided whether same un-elected bureaucrats had the power to regulate a product or service? Mind you, I'm not questioning whether this is a good product or not-- just whether the FDA should be deciding what's in its jurisdiction. Where are the progressives clamoring for "checks and balances"?

Unfortunately, the american lifestyle is a model that most Chinese dream of right now.

It's a shame they don't dream of human rights and a democratic form of government.