- posters that spell Microsoft with a $ or spell it MicroCrap or something.
- posters that glorify a feature that Linux has that BSD or Solaris as had for years, and list this reason as the most important reason to switch over
- posters that say Slackware is better because "you have to compile all of the applications for yourself"
- Rob Malda's arrogance
- frequent spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not talking something really obscure or a minor technicallity in English, either. I'm talking substituting "loose" for "lose" or "they're"/"their"/"there". Really easily corrected mistakes. Any halfway decent fifth grader could pick up on these errors.
- people that post a mirror to a site that has been Slashdotted, which normally would be nice, but is hosted on a cable modem that is soon Slashdotted
- page widening
- random quashing of posts that don't agree with the Slashdot mindset.
- really annoying sigs
- unhumorous jokes that have to be "explained" to the audience. If your joke has to be explained, it's not funny.
- "BOYCOTT RIAA" and "I can't wait to see Episode II!" all in the same day.
- Rob Malda's childish obsession with legos.
- the Slashdot crew doesn't have any other jobs other than Slashdot, yet it seems it was better run when Rob was running it on a Multia in college in his spare time.
- the "page limit" with the subscription.
- The expulsion of Signal 11.
- ranting, paranoid articles whenever there APPEARS to be a GPL violation, with no verification whatsoever. Just a bunch of ranting posts about freedom.
- for that matter, no verification of articles at all. I wish I could count the number of times Slashdot's been scammed on two hands, but it's been so many.
- April Fool's articles on Slashdot. THESE AREN'T FUNNY. I wasn't going to explain, but whatever. Okay, let's say you run a website. On April Fool's, you post, say, ONE or TWO fake pieces of news along with the real news. This way, some people are fooled. By posting ALL fake news and "jokes", no one falls for the prank.
- no one buys Loki's games, but there is a big mystery when they go out of business.
- no NNTP frontend to Slashdot.
- direct links to bugzilla
- continuing tightening of the "troll filters" to the point where even normal posts are rejected by some stupid criteria
- self righteous posters who want everything under the sun to be Open Source, even though they have never written a line of code in their life
- whenever an article on a new scripting language is posted, all of the C users chime in "but it's not as fast as C". shortly after, all the assembly users chime in "assembly is the fastest". predictably, right after that, someone says "why don't we all just use machine code?"
- anecdotes on your grandmother using Linux to check her email and whatnot. this ALONE proves that Linux is better than Windows for ALL uses.
- cult-like devotion to Linux. reserve your fanaticism for a church, not a kernel.
- someone is not less of a person if they don't use Unix.
- posters who think that BeOS is having "a bad moment" and will surely rise to defeat all other operating systems
- posters who think Palm will open the source to BeOS for no reason at all
- people who think that Amiga isn't dead. The new virtual Amiga doesn't count.
- people who think that OS/2 isn't dead. 'Ecomstation' doesn't count.
- people who bemoan the loss of OS/2 while thinking it was a big conspiracy, completely IGNORING the fact that IBM did not advertise. we all KNOW OS/2 was technically superior to Windows at the time. You don't have to bedazzle us with tales of "running all the latest Windows and DOS applications aside native OS/2 apps". We've heard it all before. We know it WAS better.
- people who think that this is the last year ever we'll ever have to hire C++ programmers, because as we all know, Java is going to "kill it off"
- this is a good one. Completely expositionary articles such as "Surprised by Weath" in which ESR BRAGGED about how rich he was and how he wasn't going to give us any money. NO SIR.
- bitchslapping
- benchmarks that pit, say, Linux (lastest revision) against FreeBSD 3.0 or something old and useless.
- how banner ads for the site only link to other OSDN sites
- any links to nytimes.com
- when someone writes a comment with ^H to signify deletions
- the moderation $rtbl
- meta moderation
- people that spell Red Hat as "RedCrap"

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Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.

Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.

Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.

Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.

Myth: Open Source is multicultural.

Fact: Open Source is openly racist.

Myth: Open Source is democratic.

Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source supports terrorism.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.

Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.

Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.

Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.

* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *

Myth: Open Source programming is a harlmess, healthy activity.

Fact: Open Source programming has been known to lead to massive obesity, violent tendencies with an obsession with handguns, paranoid-delusional ranting, and in severe cases, complete insanity. If anyone you know is thinking about going Open Source, stop them before its too late!

* * * * * UPDATE * * * * *

____________________

© 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

Myth: Open Source is written by heterosexuals.

Fact: All Open Source development is done by raging homosexuals. The more flaming examples include Anal Cox, Linus Turdballs, Eric Ass-Reaming Raymond, and the entire Slashdot crew. The ringleader of the slashdotters, a man named CmdrTaco, engages in a practice known as Taco-snotting, along with his faggot-buddies Jeff Homos Bates and CowBoiKneel.

Myth: Open Source is written for heterosexuals.

Fact: Using Open Source software can cause suppressed homosexual fantasies to surface, leading to all out flaming faggotry within 6-8 weeks. Anecdotes of otherwise hetero men turning queer are far too numerous to count, but a few examples stand out. In one case, a man was arrested loitering outside an elementary school and making sexual overtures to several children: he quickly confessed that shortly after installing the Mozilla browser on his computer, he began to have uncontrollable urges to, to put it simply, have his cock sucked off by little boys. He soon met several other like-minded men through discussions on the Bugger Zilla mailing list (all already homosexuals), who together kidnapped a total of seven children whom they brought back to their apartment and sodomized. The other two men are still at large and believed to still be using Mozilla.

Myth: Open Source is multicultural.

Fact: Open Source is openly racist.

Myth: Open Source is democratic.

Fact: Open Source is controlled by a few narrow-minded zealots (mentioned throughout this post), most of whom are either Communists, Stalinists, Nazis, or Fascists. Additionally, Open Source ;supports terrorism.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of religious preferences.

Fact: Open Source developers regularly engage in holy wars over the superiority of various Open Source projects, such as the Emacs program (preferred by Christians) versus vi (used mostly by neo-pagans and Satanists); or the KDE desktop (a favorite among Muslims) versus the GNOME project (particularly favored by Jews). Posts initiating crusades or jihads against other developers can be found regularly throughout the newsgroups and mailing lists.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of sexual preference.

Fact: See above. Either you are a homo, you become a homo, or you never visit Richard Stallman alone in his office and hope to God you never meet him on the street at night.

Myth: Open Source is tolerant of political differences.

Fact: Open Source is an anarcho-communist philosophy bent on the destruction of capitalism. The very same Richard Stallman, a man whose name is disturbingly reminiscent of Stalin, has stated several times in public that his vision includes the subjugation of all who own intellectual properties under the jackboot of the GPL. The GPL is a pernicious piece of literature lifted straight from Karl Marxs Communist Manifesto, and is fortunately banned in many democratic nations.

____________________

© 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.

Mmmm ...!

The site that was Goatsed went down as Forged reports. Whether or not it was because of the flooding I am not sure.

So far the Goatse poster has received 2 IP bans. The webmaster has removed more than 50 offensive images. Has disabled the posting of images and has required the logging in to post comments.

As one user of the forums has put it: it sure is difficult to post comments while looking at that image.

Compared to Slashdot, those forums are easily crapfloodable. No lameness filters of any kind as far as I can tell. The ultimate post would combine width, length, and some of this.

Credit goes to the AC who first posted this during the blackout.

This FAQ is designed to give tips on trolling on Slashdot, created in celebration of Blackout Week. It is dedicated to all hard-working trolls and crapflooders.

What are some good trolling tips?
Trolling is all about making people think you care, and so winding up those who care for real. Think of it like shooting a deer in front of an anti-hunt protester, or eating a Big Mac in front of a vegan. Here are some ideas for making your troll work:

1. To start off, make sure your post gets noticed -- log in, post early (after 50 +1 comments have been posted to an article, forget it), and make sure to use your +1 bonus.
2. Ensure your posting history doesn't show a history of dubious posts. Some advise (incorrectly) to stagger your trolls, but this is in fact time wasting and only helps Slashdot in the long run. If you have a doubt, just create a new account, or even post anonymous -- an effective troll, posted early enough, will gain a +1 quickly.
3. Learn from the marketing droids -- a mixture of truth and lies leaves the potential client without a clue as to which is which. Geeks smell pure bullshit, because it reminds them of their bedroom smell (see also "karma whoring" below).
4. Follow up. Keep a window open on your troll, and reload to see if people bite. Perhaps post an AC reply agreeing or disagreeing with your own post. Reply to later posts referring to your earlier post to back up your point.
5. If you get a dreaded (-1, Troll), don't be ashamed to post the well-known, "Mods on Crack!" rant. Explain, rationally, and not as yourself why you agree with the original post, and why it's a fair point.

How do I crapflood?
A crapflood is an (intentionally) content-free post. Here are some suggestions for the source of your crapflood -- remember to take care with repetition, odd characters, or repetition, to get past the lameness filter:

1. your local dictionary file, e.g. /usr/share/dict/words on BSDs
2. your local real names file, e.g. /usr/share/dict/propernames on BSDs
3. a copy-paste part of a web page (for extra amusement, copy-paste from Slashdot itself)
4. a UU-encoded newsgroup file
5. some output from a lorem ipsum generator
6. examples of your latest spams, particularly those in Korean
7. allowing your cat to walk across the keyboard for a few minutes.

How do I widen pages?
A method is known and delivered to us by the beautiful ;Klerck which currently works in Internet Explorer alone. This will therefore ruin the browsing experience of by far the majority of Slashdot readers. Start with the text:

http://www.eveeieyhfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgabc /

then repeat /ooieiabdcdjsvbkeldfogjhiyeeejkagclmieooionoepdk /

several times, remembering to avoid the compression filter trap by using different random characters.

How do I karma whore?
"Karma whoring" is the practice of gaining moderation points for their own sake. It is particularly useful in techniques for defeating the moderation system. Some tips for karma whoring are:

1. If the site containing the actual article is not on a fast server (i.e. is not a "big site"), re-post the article with subject, "the article -- in case the site gets slashdotted". Make sure this comes as early as possible in the list of comments, to avoid the dreaded (-1, Redundant).
2. If any article pops up on Microsoft, write a stock two paragraphs explaining why Microsoft is immoral, and why the event described cannot happen with Free Software. I shall not supply text, because tests have shown that moderators are not completely stupid, and can identify duplicate posts (this is actually helpful in defeating the moderation system, see below).
3. For any article discussing a particular company, state that you worked there, and offer your "inside knowledge". Note that geeks do visit Slashdot, so do not fall into the trap of being too obvious a fraud -- a mistake made by such amateur trolls as PhysicsGenius, who must now suffer a life of instant down-modding.

The moderation system is far from flawless. Here are some ways to devalue it:

1. If you have moderator points, for goodness sake abuse them! How about moderating up a First Post, a crapflood, or best of all, this very FAQ? It would be a crime to allow such an easily abused system to work.
2. Copy the text of another person's post, and paste it as a reply to an earlier post. Most people read oldest messages first, so they will consider yours to be the first message, and the later message to be "redundant". This is great for annoying karma whores.
3. Vote Troll posts as "underrated", thus increasing their exposure without running the risk of having your moderation rights revoked.

How do I defeat authentication?
Don't. The FBI will arrest you for being a terrorist. Instead, make an authoritative nick like CmdrTaco (editor). The majority of people are easily fooled, and will be likely to take notice of and respond to your post, and even moderate it up. Think of it like Lunix Turvalds walking into the room -- people listen to what he has to say, and don't dare disagree.

How do I defeat the goatse link early warning system?
Simple -- use one of the many foolishly implemented redirector URLs hosted on well-known sites. Here's an innocuous recent example which pretends to link to the highly informative about.com, but in fact links to a site of the popular 90's lesbian band The Spice Girls: Informative link which will get me karma [about.com]

What are some excellent sites to sneakily link to?
Mostly, you should link to gay porn. If you are reading this FAQ, you already know the URLs, so I don't need to supply them, except to say that it's almost an initiation ceremony in Slashdot trolling to link to goatse [goatse.cx].

Administrativa

How do I justify the existence of this FAQ?
Slashdot is full of people who support unlicensed weapons ownership and dissemination of bomb creation documents -- in short, they support freedom, even when that freedom could cause harm. This document should be considered as that very freedom in action. Indeed, to disparage or moderate down this document would be un-American, and the FBI are likely to arrest you for being a terrorist.

How do I add to or change this FAQ?
Simply re-post the FAQ on Slashdot, adding an appropriate question, and incrementing the version number by 1. Before doing so, please try to ensure you have the latest version, and remember to keep this post W3C compliant!

1. Eat ice cream cone in front of crying kids.

2. Eat sandwich in front of homeless man.

3. Drink entire six-pack in front of AA graduates.

Updates: 1 2 3

Next I foresee page lengthening/widening...

You can't post to this page.

Anyone else getting this error?

"Someone" flooded this forum with a shitload of porn. But what did they expect letting anyone freely post anything they want without "lameness" filters? And how can what the crapflooder did be any worse than what the Kazaa-Lite creator and users are doing?