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Journal Journal: Mommy's Almost Here

My Mommy is almost here! Hurrah hurrah!

She'll be here tomorrow, and then we'll have a party on Sunday!

Of course, I have to work on my birthday. That being Monday.




Journal Journal: I'm gonna be fired! 2

Yep. I was informed today that I will be fired when the consultants are finished taking over our website development. Thus, at the end of the month, i'm gone.

So, operation delay is now in full effect. Boss doesn't know that I know I am to be terminated. But, fuck him, I am gonna make this the longest consultant implimentation ever! This is going to take YEARS!


Journal Journal: Manage Your Department!

Yup. Manage your department. That's what my boss demanded from me today. OK. i'd love to. First, I'll give everryone in my department a raise! Oh, wait, I'M THE ONLY ONE IN MY FUCKING DEPARTMENT!

Imagine that. Jesse had an overblown conception of his company! Unbelievable! Delusions of grandure. Imagine!

Fuck I hate this job! I can't get anything of worth done without having Jesse interupt me with something useless and top piority. And when I actually do get something done, he immediately tells me it's OK, but not great, despite the fact he never even fucking read it! ARGHGHGHGHGHG!


Journal Journal: Fire Extinguishers and Lost Chickens

Oy oy oy oy, people can be so much fun, or so damn stupid. Fine line between the two.

I went to 2600 for the first time in almost a year this past Friday. An excellent meeting all around, like a big old game of "blast from the past," everyone was there. We all bummed around anddid nothing, spoke of nothing computer related, and then went out for debauchery. It's no small feat to say that by the end of the night we were looking for a lost chicken,

Actually, wait. That's not how the night ended. That's about half-way through the night. The real end of the night came when we all had a fire-extinguisher fight at the old ACCRC Oakland warehouse. It's empty now, except for a thin layer of Monoamonium Phosphate all over the place and a bunch of empty red extinguishers.

That was fun. But that stuff is hell on your lungs and nose.

The rest of the weekend was layed back, chillin' out, trying hard to forget about the brutish realities of work. Still haven't heard peep from any of the places I applied to over last week. I guess that means I won't be hearing at all, will I? Oh well. I'll just keep sending out those resumes...

PC Games (Games)

Journal Journal: What a Dick!

So, my new boss has a bug up his ass about my not working very well. For the first two weeks, he was all like "You're the best we've ever had in this position!" and telling me how great I was and that it made a huge difference having me here.

Of course, now, he's got a major bug up his ass about me. He thinks I'm only doing the things I want to and ignoring the things I don't care about, that I'm winging it.

Well you know what, I wasn't winging it before, but I sure am NOW! Fuck you Jesse, fucking , Sartain. I am now in 100% slack-off-fucker-head mode. I don't give two wet shits about this job any more. I am going to slack until I am fired. That gives me about two more weeks and then I am gone, I bet.

Fine. Fire me. I'll do freelancing like a crazy man for about a month. If I am not fired by the end of next week, I will quit on Monday, and simply not come in. Spend the time with my mother who is coming out to see me. Write furiously, pay for another month at the new place, move out at the beginning of December. That's when I usually end up moving anyway. Would make more sense to do that. Maybe V and I will get a place. It's tough to wedge her out of the place she's in right now. I don't know how I'll do it. It's not gonna be easy! But I want her and I to live together for many many reasons, none the least of which is the ability to have a roommate that I can actually trust!

Fuck this job. Fuck Jesse Sartain, and fuck him one more time, just for three-dom of movement.


Journal Journal: Automated Billing?

OK, we have a whole new world, right? A glorious interconnected society with millions of computers and networks all conected and communicating and calculating simultaneously. They should have no trouble tracking each and every one of us down the most minute detail, and we're, in fact, very worried about this prospect.


Then how come my Verizon bill comes in with a $500 overcharge? Why can't Ticket Master track what seats it has open? Why do long distance companies consistently call me and offer new services that I've told them repeatedly I don't want? Why are there billing mistakes from my bank that they immediately correct when I call and ask about them? Why do I have to mail in a rebate certificate to get my "instant cash back?"

In truth, it seems that most of the amazingly modern technology we have at our fingertips today is there only to make life more annoying and to give corporations the ability to automatically screw us every month. Truly an evolution from the old manual screwing we used to receive.

Corporations should not exist for the sole purpose of making money. They need to have a responsibility to their customers, their employees, and society at large. If they don't, then they are just a big group of people doing evil.

Well, I suppose that's what they are now. Evolve people!

Utilities (Apple)

Journal Journal: This New Job Sucks

I am utterly aghast at the ammount of meaningless paper and stupid policies this new office is capable of producing. i worked at Ziff Davis Media for a year, and that company of over 500 with eeasily 100 executives did not produce, in one year, half as much stupid paperwork and dumb communiques at this new office does in one day. The new office consists of only 8 people and one executive. And that one executive creates mountains of stupid bullshit!

Every phone call must be documented. Never leave it with a voicemail. Always leave it with a person. Follow up and call back often! Well, you know, that makes sense for the sales people, but when I am calling Oracle to find out how much their CRm software costs, why? Fuck that shit! Pointless! Takes more time to fill out the form than it does to call the god dammed company!

Jane and Ben have expressed interest in moving to Canada. Vancover. I would love to do this. I think the three of them and the two of M and V would be fabulous in a big old house somewhere outside of Vancover. Unfortunately, I am the only one in the group that has the penchant for just picking the fuck up and moving the fuck on. They'll all be sitting around with their dicks in their hands for a year waiting, pondering, thinking heavily about this weighty decision. Me, I'm ready to load the van up right now and get going.


Journal Journal: Next Movie Project Musings

OK, this is more for me than for anyone else. So don't comment meanly!

Next movie project will be about mercy killings. At what point does it become ok to kill a person out of kindness. when does their life become so worthless and useless and full of pain that killing them is more humane than extending their life?

Science is wonderful at keeping people alive for incredible lengths of time. But should it?

We open on our leads, a young girl and boy who are sitting around bored, with nothing to do. They surf the net, watch TV, sit around indefinitely, incdecisively, absolutely bored.

One of them discovered Erowid and begins digging up information on various locally available drugs. They find out about Belladonna and Angel's Trumpet. There's a tree in the town around them. They go and make some tea from the flowers.

Along the way, they encounter an animal, half dead from being run over. The girl wants to whack it to death, put it out of its misery. The boy wants to take it home and bandage it, keep it alive. more on this later.

As they injest the tea, the rabbit begins to scream. They sit for a half hour. Nothing happens. They take some more. They finish the pot.

Everything goes to hell from here.

One leaves to go home, not sure which. Probably the female. She gets lost on the way, lost in a deep forest, she encounters people from her life, and the boy. Conversations on life, philosophy, everything. Deep spiritual stuff, but the people keep vanishing. She is the explorer, the one we view nature and spirituality through. Observe the natural courses of death, life, and such through.

She encounters animals, sees them vanish, sees them kill each other. Sees them doing all manner of normal actions. People arrive, vanish, talk, vanish.

While this is going on, the boy becomes absolutely incoherent and insane. He is picked up by the police, ends up in the hospital strapped to a table. No one can figure out what to do. They begin administering drugs, but this makes things worse. He becomes lucid at strange moments. He finds himself in odd situations. he's never sure if the encounters he has with people are real or false.

As time passes, the girl wanders home and finds herself in a newly redefined world. Her sesibilities are changed, her personality is more cemented and firm.

The boy is destroyed. His mind is gone, coming and going in slow waves of paranoia, halucinations, and psychosis. He becomes obcessed with the Belladonna tree outside his house. Talks to it. Dances with it, Crys on its roots. The sick animal they found is only getting worse, nothing helps. The veet offers to put it down. The boy only gets worse too.

In the end, the girl takes the animal and leaves it alone in the forest, still barely alive, screaming in pain. She walks off, leaving it alone. Shot from the shoebox, her feet in the background walking off into the sunset of the forest.

Interspersed with the boy, wandering alone, weaving in and out of traffic, suddenly terrified, running, screaming into trees and walls. Knocking himself out, not knowing where he is. Seeing devils, death, rot. He runs into the forest, rams himself into a tree, and lies bleeding and dying beside the dead animal.

As he falls to the ground in slow motion, blood spouting from his head, things go silent. Breathing is heard, his breathing. Deep, slow, labored, heavy with throaty intonations.

Just as he is about to die, he rolls sideways and sees the animal alive, happy, dancing. He smiles, happy, himself once more, finding his initial desire satiated. Breathing is still heard, heavier, slower. Lights fade, blackness comes. The breathing stops. The movie ends.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Belladona Family, Angel's Trumpet

So I ran into this by way of an IRC posting. Kinda trippy, no pun intended.

Of course, being a halucenogenic voyeer, I had to read up on the subject. I headed over to errowid and found a bunch of frightening reports; take a ,a href="http://www.erowid.org/plants/brugmansia/brugmansia.shtml">look at these.

But it's nothing compared to This report from a father dumb enough to take the drug while his children were at home. Fucking retard.

Absolutely stupid! Why in the world would you ever do a drug without first researching the proper dosage and precautions? This is why I don't do halucinogens. I had every opportunity in the world to go way off into the brainscape with my old roommate who was a professional brain cosmonaut, but I never wanted to. Esspecially when he was all about DMT.

Oh well, some people will do just about anything to escape reality. Even if it means you'll become uncontrollably violent and bash yourself into walls and plate glass windows.

I think the belladonna family of plants are designed to make animals wander off in a fog and forget that they ever encountered the plant in the first plcae. Perhaps not the best way to keep things from eating you, but certainly an effective way of keeping them off for at least a little while.

It's funny.  Laugh.

Journal Journal: New Job, new home, new life

Heavenly god, I am reduced to blogging on Slashdot! Of course, this is because my current living situation is utterly without broadband. Or even narrow band for that matter.

So life continues to truck along, even though my only access to the internet comes at work. i'm there now, naturally, and of course, writing a pointless blog which no one will ever read is work, right? I should be getting paid 25 an hour for this! You know it.

So how about a bit of a discussion on obscene billing practices? The first ones to bring this to my attention were Ticket Master. When you call them for tickets, the first thing they will do is tell you that the seats you want are unavailable, and that the only seats open are whatever is the most exspensive. Course, you can always buy all those seats they won't tell you about on their website. Nice.

Nevermind the exhorbitant fees they charge.

Then there are cell phone companies. They will ALWAYS bill you for anything they can think of that's even minorly plausible. Then, you have to wait on hold for an hour to discuss the fees. Sprint loves to do this. You have to wait on hold to discuss yer bill, even if you call them from a Sprint PCS store.

Then there are banks, particularly Bank of America, who's policy is "Fees first, fixes later." They love over billing because no one ever calls them and complains. if you do complain, they will often throw $40 at you to get you to shut up. Kinda scarry.

But the absolute worst people out there, the most monsterous vilains on the Internet are those lame assholes with T-shirts and stuff that never send them out. They invariably use paypal, who is impossibly to deal with on the phone. You'll never get yer money back. ever.

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"The urge to destroy is also a creative urge." -- Bakunin [ed. note - I would say: The urge to destroy may sometimes be a creative urge.]