Wow! I have defeated this one without a problem!

My ass is a bit rancid, you know. What say you?

Wow! Another Slashdot intellectual for me to defeat without a single problem! Why are you cowerin' as such never before!? Know your folly, Slashdot intellectual! It's time for me to grand slam your bare ass right into a mysterious fuckin' dark alley! Wow! A quarter going down a slot machine!

Such a thing!

See how I'm wigglin' my bare rancid rectum right in front of your disgusting, rotting cock? It's because I'm going to suck every last tadpole out of your putrid cock! Yes, it is true! My asshole is a tadpole sucker! What say you?

Don't read this... it is a curse...

In 1998, a little boy named Timmy was enjoying a relaxing day at the beach with his beloved family. Being the curious and adventurous young lad that he was, he managed to sneak away from his family and traveled far enough away from them that they could just barely see him from where they were located. Little Timmy, while walking, then noticed a small lizard beanie baby sitting in the sand, looking up towards him. They exchanged greetings, and then, feeling daring, Timmy said, "I betcha can't lick my buttcheeks!"

The lizard replied in a confident tone, "I bet I can!" Then, the lizard beanie baby's tongue stuck out a few centimeters in front of its face and stopped moving. Timmy, not understanding the situation, gazed at it in puzzlement. Suddenly, he heard and felt something slimy smack his precious cheek! He couldn't believe it! It was as if most of the lizard's tongue was invisible and that he could stretch it and make it move anywhere he wanted from any location!

Timmy, still feeling daring, then said, "I betcha can't lick my buttcrack!" In the same confident tone, the lizard replied, "I bet I can!" and the exact same event as before happened once again. The lizard stuck out its tongue a few centimeters, and mere moments later, something hit Timmy's bare buttcrack. This caused Timmy to jump in the air from surprise.

Timmy, angry that the lizard's tongue violated his precious snap, screamed, "I betcha can't lick my butthole!" This time, his voice didn't have the daring tone that it had before. The lizard almost immediately replied, in a confident tone that sounded as if he knew precisely what would happen, "I bet I can!" Regretting his decision to dare the lizard immensely, Timmy began begging and pleading for the lizard to stop. Despite this rather sad turn of events, an invisible, wet tongue smacked Timmy's bootysnapcheekcrackhole moments later! The lizard had slurped his most prized possession!

Infuriated that his most precious spot was violated by the dirty little lizard's tongue, Timmy attempted to kick the lizard. However, to his surprise, the lizard was somehow able to avoid the blow and crawl into his pant leg! Timmy could see a small lump on his pant leg slowly make its way towards his ass! Thinking quickly, Timmy used his hands to block its path. Feeling victorious, he smirked and began mocking the lizard. Seconds later, the lump somehow managed to effortlessly move right under the obstacles that were Timmy's hands and continued merrily on its way!

Timmy, frightened, tried desperately to take off his jeans, but it was as if they were glued to his body! The lizard finally made its way to Timmy's ass, crawled between his ass cheeks, climbed on top of his precious hole, and then stopped. As if it had stopped just to make Timmy even more frightened, the lizard began its mission as soon as Timmy's dread became apparent. The lizard crawled all over Timmy's bootysnapcheekcrackhole in a square pattern, stopped at each corner of the imaginary square for about a second, and then moved to the next corner.

Each time it crawled, each time it moved, a sinister rattling sound was heard, and tremendous amounts of tickle were inflicted upon Timmy's ass! He could do nothing but try to endure it, but there is no way that any being in existence could endure having such concentrated amounts of tickle inflicted upon their ass. He screamed and pleaded for it to stop, but to no avail. The lizard continued crawling, and Timmy heard it let out an ominous laugh...

Now that you have read even a single word of this, the very same lizard puppet will effortlessly make its way to your bootysnapcheekcrackhole, and crawl all over it to inflict preposterous amounts of tickle upon your ass! To prevent this from occurring, copy this entire story and post it as a comment three times.

Why are you cowering? It's because my power is incomprehensible to a pathetic individual such as yourself! Just vanish already, and don't you dare return until you become One With Gamemaker! Return to Gamemakerdom immediately, you worthless sow!

Now, I am here....I came to fuck your ass deep! I am known as Carn the god, I rape and rape until I can't rape no more! Prepare for your ass to be violated by my huge dick!

My bare snap has become a meteor, and it's crashing down on your very existence!

I have become an absolute bootynude.

Well, sorry, but if you can't make money in that amount of time, maybe they need to find a better business model. Your fears are unfounded.

What does this have to do with government-enforced monopolies over ideas?

I think you'll find that most people would be willing to pay if it meant they'd get to see it before the 5 years are up. Why? That's what we're already seeing, but the conditions (copyright terms are more than 100 years) are more extreme. We live in an environment where you can get just about anything for free easily (through piracy), but many people still choose to pay. If what you said were true, no one would be making any money.

Meh... that's too long. It shouldn't be longer than 10 years, and some might say that even that is too long.

This sort of thing is why copyright should only last for 10 year (or less). No extensions. No nothing. 10 (or less) years. If you can't profit in that amount of time, that's life.

Rightly so? Rightly so!? You're saying it's okay for the government to outsource its spying to corporations? You're completely insane.

It doesn't matter what corporations think. We the people technically have the power to create new (new in your eyes, anyway) rules that say that emails and other such things cannot simply be spied on by the government without a warrant, and should they fail to follow the rules, any evidence they find would be tossed out in court (as it should be). It doesn't matter that the emails and such are stored on someone else's property; the one being restricted would be the government.

Saying that he is one of the more level-headed people arguing for this disgusting practice isn't much of a compliment; he's still completely insane.

Everyone knows this. The problem is, freedom is far more important than security. He has no good points.

Honestly, arguments like his are what leads to nonsense like the TSA.

It was obvious it was going to happen, considering what it is.

Well, it's not, and it won't be.