- Those that write their own!

... or lack there of

You can find a lot of open CS courses from prominent universities offered online with lecture videos, assignments, projects, the works:

edX
udacity
coursera

Some offer certificates, but most universities won't accept these. You can try to get the silly credits like English requirement done at a community college which will offer night classes. If you can't give up your 9 to 5 then you can attend a state school or community college part time. Some employers partner with state/community colleges for internships and jobs such as Lone Star College and HP (which actually share a campus in northwest Houston!).

spaghetti code = job security

A lot of government research entities will pay for your advanced education (Georgia Tech Research Institute, Sandia Labs, etc) because they value advanced degrees. I know this works great getting MS degrees. You just have to sell your soul to the same company usually for an additional 4 years. I recommend you just get a BS degree with a decent in-state public school. Usually you can help pay for tuition by working for the school as a TA or Research Assistant.

If you're just looking to pick more programming knowledge to continue teaching middle school then you do not need a MS for that. MIT's Opencourseware is a great place to start: http://ocw.mit.edu/index.htm

My first exposure to programming came from building raw HTML webpages in the 90s when I was barely out of elementary school. I didn't know anything about IDEs/programs and coded by trial and error. Then I took AP Computer Science in school, but I still didn't have a firm gasp on programming then. The class emphasized coding Java on paper. I can honestly say it made me a better programmer. A degree in Computer Science from Georgia Tech later, here I am.