$6 for a peanut butter sandwich?! That's ridiculous!

Or so I've been telling myself ever since a P.B. Loco popped up in the mall a few years or so ago.

But oh how wrong I was. So very wrong. Yesterday I gave in to the Peanut Butter Deities and handed over my six bucks. In return, I was given a raspberry white chocolate peaut butter, marshmallow cream, and banana sandwich. Toasted. On wheat (because that practically makes up for the marshmallow cream). I cannot believe that I have been withholding this gooey wonder from myself for so long. I actually paid $7 for a jar of the peanut butter used in my sandwich.

Oh hey, Alton Brown? Your multiple shuddering mouthgasms are right here. *points to P.B. Loco*

I hated this book when I was made to read it in high school. I found it to be whiny and banal.

I decided to give it another shot when we learned that it would be the first production at the new Guthrie Theater. First, let me just say that this novel was incredibly well adapted to the stage.

Second: Ten years later, I have to admit that Mr. Fitzgerald makes more sense. It's a play written by a mid-20s guy about mid-20s people. Forcing people with 10 years too little experience to read the book does it a great disservice, in my opinion. It makes me think that revisiting Last Tango in Paris might not be a bad idea.

Third: There's a subtle barb in there that I don't think people not from here would necessarily get. I can't even remember if it was in the book. Anyway, the first time that Nick tells people where he's from (St. Paul), he receives quizzical looks. The second time, he says he's from Minneapolis. There was an audible theater-wide "oooooooo." The car ride home involved a very terse discussion of the merits of St. Paul versus That Other City.

I hate you.

Love,
Some Woman

P.S. No matter what the numbers are, a 1:1 sleep:airport driving time ratio is not a good thing.

I can't believe they actually gave me money for The Little Car. At first I thought that I would be paying them $100 to take it off my hands, which was fine by me. That practically covers 10% of the sales tax!

The new car doesn't have a name yet, because I really haven't refered to it in any manner other than "...:^)...:^D...*squeal*" I suppose La Hija de Diablo would be appropriate, but she's just too darn cute to have been born of the torrid affair between Saddam Hussein and Satan.

Have I mentioned how cute my car is?! It is. It's shorter than my Tempo was, but the space inside the car is better designed. The windshield seems huge; I think the visibility may even be better in the Civic. The side mirrors are also bigger, and the butt of the car doesn't stick up so much as to create the world's biggest blind spot. If I cared about anything besides how wondeful my car is right now, I would rant about the state of visibility in newer cars.

The shortness of the car (or, rather, the wheels being closer to the ends of the vehicle) makes it really easy to maneuver, especially into and out of parking spaces.

I love the design of the dashboard/instruments. The CD player is at an angle, which is a much more natural position for your hand. Wait... I have an actual CD player!! (Of course, this now means no iPod in the car, because I don't care so much as to spend 100s of dollars finding the FM transmitter that works.) The speedometer is above the steering wheel so that it is in your line of view while you are driving; that's a very nice feature.

The stuff under the hood is so compact, but it still looks accessible. The various fluid tanks are designed in a way that I predict less dribbling liquids all over the engine in a sorry attempt to top something off.

There are two cupholders for the front seats!

And it's so quiet!

I'm sure that some of this is now commonplace, but you'll have to excuse me... I have to absorb all of the automotive advances that have taken place in the past 13 years.

Before and after photos forthcoming.

Happy Birthday, sweetie!
_________________________________

But seriously, a waiting list for the Honda Civic?! It's a low-end compact car. I mean, I know they redesigned it, and people are getting all crazy everytime it costs them $3.72 more to fill up their car, but still... Go get a VW Golf or Toyota Corolla or something. I'm getting a black Civic, because the production date is, well, today. My first choice color is being produced at the end of June. My beloved hybrid has a 4-6 month waiting list. Mmmm...yeah. I don't think so. Maybe next time.

I will admit to buying at the first dealership I went to because I liked the salesperson. But really...how can you not love a late-50s Polish lady named Elizabeth whose first car in the U.S. was a Mercury Topaz (the sister to my Tempo). Plus she complimented my hair in the photo on my license. Oh, she's good.

A chipped bone. A 1x1 cm chunk of jagged bone. Floating freely in his knee.

It was just too creepy not to share.

(By the way, this is the only quality April 1 joke /. has ever done. The stories are pretty good, too.)

Some Guy is scheduled for an MRI on Thursday because his knee has been deemed unswollen enough to figure out what exactly he did to it.

But this means that I now get to go off on an MRI tangent. MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) is basically NMR (nuclear magnetic resonance), except that the tube is much, much bigger. Do you know why it's called MRI when done on people? Because nuke-u-lar is scary!! I find this funny. And sad. Sad-funny.

When I grow up, I want to be that paranoid crazy person who runs around on the street telling people that they are filled with NUCLEI! It's kind of a niche, but I think I can make it work. It might require a funny hat; luckily I had the foresight to aquire one.

Some Guy had a tragic treadmill accident on Saturday night. If I'd have had it my way, we would have been eating pizza and watching canceled TV shows instead. Clearly my way is superior. :^D As it stands, the doctor said that his knee is too swollen to be able to tell yet if he's torn his ACL or not. :^(

In other news, I bought the cutest bottle of wine yesterday- Happy Cat Riesling (I bought an opaque black one). It is now time for tuxette to mock me for drinking sweet and/or flavorless wine and for me to look on with smug disdain as I let her know that my wine bottle is cuter than hers! :^P

That's right. Locks of Love has given people the impression that they are a charity that donates human hair wigs to children who have lost their hair due to cancer treatments, and they are certainly benefitting by allowing people to continue to believe this. Lets examine this statement one piece at a time.

Myth: the wigs are donated
The recipients pay for the wig. The cost is somewhat based on family income, but there is a cost involved.

Half-truth: the wigs are for children
Human hair wigs can be itchy and are incredibly hard to care for. Synthetic wigs are better suited for children. Or a scarf or hat.

Myth: the wigs are for cancer patients
Many people with hair loss due to cancer will be denied assistance. The primary target of Locks of Love is people who have permanent hair loss due to alopecia. Hair loss due to cancer treatments is considered temporary. The Locks of Love website itself says that people with temporary hair loss are given synthetic wigs.

Myth: Hair donations are needed
Locks of Love receives over 104,000 hair donations every year, but has created only 1,000 wigs since 1997. Even at 10 donations per wig, that's a lot of hair unaccounted for.

Half-truth: Locks of Love is a charity
While classifed as a charitable organization by the federal government, they have failed to meet the standards for charitable accountability. Locks of Love has been shady with their books, not allowing the Better Business Bureau to see how exactly they manage to bring in over $350,000 via donations and produce 113 human-hair and 39 synthetic wigs in one year. More than a third of that income came from selling donated hair.

The Locks of Love organization never officially says that they give free wigs to pediatric cancer patients, but they allow such notions to spread unhindered. They also allow people to believe that hair donations are still needed, when most of the hair will end up sold or in the trash. Look at how many people in my previous journal entry erroneously believe that they can donate hair to cancer patients via Locks of Love. While failure to dispell misconceptions is neither evil nor a crime, it is dishonest and reprehensible.

BOTTOM LINE:
Children with cancer do not benefit from you chopping off your hair. Even if you believe that Locks of Love serves people with alopecia well, they will almost certainly not use your hair in a wig. If you want to help people with cancer, donate money to a more reputable organization, or sell your hair yourself and give the proceeds to a cancer research fund.

----------------------------------------------
Sources:

BBB Report
Wikipedia
Human Hair Wigs
The Long Hair Site FAQ -search for Locks of Love
Long Hair Community -on being told to chop off your hair for cancer patients
Locks of Love FAQ

Part the First:
From what you know about Locks of Love, what is your impression of their purpose?

So I just had one those surreal moments. Went to sleep after work, because 5 hours of sleep a night due to watching reality TV shows that are way more entertaining than they have any right to be does not make for a happy camperous Some Woman. Woke up just now. It was dark. The clock said 7:00. Oh shit! I overslept! I forgot to turn on the alarm! One mild heart attack later, I realize it's the other 7:00. *wipes brow* Phew!

Anyway, Dotters, I have a question to ask of thee... Do you have any wisdom or advice regarding cruises? Which cruise lines are good, which are bad, which nickel and dime you to death the most, etc...

The Some Guy and I are looking at maybe going on a cruise in the Caribbean this spring. Actually, probably next month, because some of us *cough* don't plan well like that. (Remember, we kid because we love. We kid because we love. :^)

Right now I'm looking at Princess, because they have a route that completely encircles Cuba, and I find that very funny. It's like "hey- there's a big island in the middle of this thing." "What island? I don't see any island." *brain zap* "Huh? What were we talking about? Ooo! Birdie!"

Edit: Upon further reflection, a cruise would probably end up costing me an entire month's savings when all is said and done. Maybe an all-inclusive resort is the way to go... any advice here? (Hey, beetlzbub- I'm talking to you!)

Intel Inside.

Every day, on my way home from work, I see this sign that has an overly-detailed orange graphic and says "NO WAKE." But it's nowhere near any water. It's on an overpass. Driving past at 60 mph, the graphic looked to be a boat, as that's with what one usually associates wakes.

Well, boats and dead people, but this definitely isn't a dead person.

Anyway, it turns out that picture is of a snow plow. I assume that the "no wake" bit has something to do with not wanting to have snow dumped onto the road below. Even though it makes sense, it's still funny.

For the Parental Folks
I went to Urgent Care this afternoon.

I can't move my left shoulder enough to brush, wash, or corral my hair, so Some Guy put my hair in a ponytail. Trying to explain this process that I do multiple times every day was the most frustrating 4 minutes ever, but it was accomplished.

So given my lack of ability to move my shoulder, would you believe that there's nothing wrong with it? X-rays showed no break, separation, or tear. There is no visible swelling or bruising. It just hurts like fucking hell. And apparently I'm supposed to take drugs and wait for it to get better. I should have taken him up on the prescription pain killers, as, at the very least, the high street value has been pointed out.

I actually have abstained from OTC painkillers thus far out of paranoia of any sort of brain/head issue- I didn't want to take anything that would dull the warning signs of a head injury. As it's been more than 24 hours, I'll be indulging in a little Advil.

They did not X-ray my ribcage, because it didn't hurt that much when the doctor pushed on it.

I bought a sling at Walgreens, as well as another cold pack.

The cuts have been uncovered since their photoshoot today. Just protected with a little Neosporin.

For my litigous friends
Some Guy's dad (a lawyer himself) is very good friends with one of Minnesota's top Ambulance Chasers.

That out of the way, I have taken pictures. I was going to post them here, but feel uncomfortable doing so. If you would like to see them, I can provide you with a link. I will be taking more pictures of the bruises as they develop.

I will be taking the bike in tomorrow to get some sort of estimate of the repair cost.

Yes, I paid for the Urgent Care visit with my own insurance. I figure that I can let the insurance companies battle it out at their leisure. I asked for a receipt for the co-pay for reimbursement purposes.

I saved all of the receipts for medical supplies.

No work for me today! Yay! Actually using a sick day! Will the insanity never cease?

As of this morning, I was still scooting around the apartment in my desk chair, only capable of walking about 1/2 the length of our hallway without immense pain. I also could not walk flat-footed, and so was walking on my tip-toes hunched over. As of right now, I can walk flat-footed! I still can't fully straighten my left leg (there's bruising over the tendon behind the knee), but it's a start.

I took all of the bandages off, properly washed the injuries with soap and water, added some Neosporin and rebandaged them. My shoulder is probably going to take the longest to heal. I think I sprained it or something- right now I have it in a sling that I've fashioned from my roommate's bandanas.

I also just got a call from the woman's insurance company. I am going to take the bike in for an estimate and let the insurance company know next week. Hopefully my bike shop will go for that.