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Journal Journal: Yup I voted.... 1

and although I do not like to admit it, I voted for Bush, changed my vote at the last minute... I feel kinda dirty :-P

User Journal

Journal Journal: My ordeal of late...

So last Friday (10-15-2004) I started having this intense pain in my abdomine. Right about where my liver is. Advil wouldn't stop it, couldn't sleep through it. The weekend was hell. Worked from home on Monday. All that time I refused to go to a doctor. Just how I was raised.

On Tuesday I went to work at 4:30am because I knew that sleeping in my office chair was more comfy than my soft bed would be. Took a cat nap. Got up a little before 6am, got to working. By the time my boss got in a little after 8am, I had killed all my major obligations.

I told them I was going to see a doc. I had reached the end of my tollerance. I have already used my sick days completely up. So I was on to my last 2 vacation days and then on to Family Medical Leave Act time off...

So I get to the doc, I get x-ray'd, EKG'd, blood drawn, urin collected. "We just do not know what is wrong with you..." So they send me to get an ultrasound (ordered STAT), and tell me to return the next day. So it is now Wednesday.

I get to the doc and she says: "Well, you have gall stones, you need surgery, see this surgeon today at 1pm." I leave and goto the surgeon at 1pm. He diagnose me as being accute. He says he must opperate immediately. So I drive to the hospital by 1:45pm, they start an IV of antibiotics. At 5pm the anest^Wfeel-good doc comes and gets me. They wheel me into the OR. Then I wake up in my hospital room feeling high as a kite.

The first day I ask for demerol every 2 hours for the entire day. The second day I get told that my intestines are not functioning and the pain meds can be contributing to that. I can not leave until I can have bowel movements. So I stop taking pain meds. I realize I am sore but not in pain.

The second day no pain meds at all. My bowels start cooperating once again. I am walking and moving around just fine.

Today the doc was like, "you're going home..." So I signed the paperwork and drove myself home. I am gonna take it easy this weekend and will probably return to work on Monday.

User Journal

Journal Journal: What the fuck is wrong with some of you? 14

Re - fucking - lax! Between the politics and the smoking rants some people just need to settle the fuck down. Let that which does not truly matter slide. Life is so much more enjoyable when you do not have to care so much about stupid shit.

Drink a beer, smoke a cig, and chill out.

User Journal

Journal Journal: The weekend starts in a lil bit... 3

I am gonna try and get off from work a little early, clean my cat's litter box, make a friend a copy of my house key, pack, then leave... I am driving to Phoenix. Then a group of us are driving to Baja California to hit the beach. I need the down time.

I love to drive so right now I am looking forward to the drive to Arizona. I used to make that drive every summer as a kid, my grandparents lived in Phoenix. This will also be the first time I have ever seen the Pacific ocean.

Wish me a good time. Maybe meet a nice girl, maybe meet some good business contacts, maybe just get drunk and have fun? In any case I am glad to not be home for 4 days... I am taking Friday and Monday off.

User Journal

Journal Journal: My weekend 2

Where to begin...

Well this weekend I got my entire left arm outlined. I already had a small skull on my forearm and a half sleeve on the upper part. I now have a star on my elbow and a large dragon filling up the rest, including the back of my arm up to the armpit. Prolly 3 more sessions to get the shading done.

Please do not beat me up now, those that can predict the following just skip to the ***

I spent the weekend with my ex. She came down with two of her girlfriends and her son. On Saturday they wanted to go out, I stayed home and babysat. Then yada yada yada... Today we went shopping, then to her mom's house, where she disapointed me in a way that she never had. The woman I loved truly is dead, this person I do not even know any more and she is a disapointment. I left the house and drove home alone.


In other news anyone know anyone in Phoenix (professionaly)? I am driving over there Oct 7 - 11. I am thinking of relocating. After 6 years at my job my boss (same one the whole time) has resigned. Maybe it is time to move on since it'll be like a new job anyway, and El Paso just does not pay.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Where is everyone at? 43

TL's latest JE has got me curious... Where are we all located? I am in El Paso, Texas, to the right of Las Cruces, New Mexico, and atop ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico.

User Journal

Journal Journal: very cool weekend... 6

Things appear to be looking up for me. On Friday, surfed Yahoo Personals, and found a cute girl who was online. So I IM her. We have a really good conversation, then we talk on the phone for a while, then I go to her house. We had a very good time. The next day went over again. Then the next day. I have met her family, her sisters, her parents, all the kids (including hers, she has two small daughters). I am really digging her.

The alarming thing to me is the lack of sex, and my feeling on that. I'm cool with it at this point, all good things in time. I am enjoying myself and not fighting or stressing feels so welcome. Having a conversation where it is okay to disagree and listen to another view, hearing a cute laugh when I try to be witty -- this is great.

Going to see her again today. Hopefully work is smooth and fast :-)

User Journal

Journal Journal: movin on 3

today i found something out from my ex that broke the camel's back -- no details to be posted here so do not even guess. So i am not talking to her anymore. I set up two dates for tonight (the internet is great) and will be out enjoying myself.

User Journal

Journal Journal: last night 7

So it was a bad day for most of the day... Talked to her after work and she claims she canceled her date and was going to some party.

I was like fuck this I am not staying home while she hooks up at some party (although she does not hook up like a fiend, still). So I got on Yahoo! Personals, met and started talking to this cool girl at 8pm. At 11pm I was at her house. It was a lot of fun, we talked a lot, had some drinks, watched a few movies. A good date. I was home by 6:30.

When I get home there was a IM from *her* on the PC (she knew I was on a date because she called me at 2am) -- "Hows your date?" "That good huh?" "SIGNED OUT 6:15am"... So chances are she's still sleeping and I will not hear from her for a while.

User Journal

Journal Journal: relapse 8

For the last week it has been hell... I have been hiding from every girl I have been talking to. I can't get my ex-fiance out of my head. I have been drinking nightly. I go to clubs and sit in the dark alone and drink. I am unable to talk to anyone, much less hook up. She has a date tonight with some guy from her school. My heart fell to my ass. I want to go home and cry myself to sleep but I do not want to freak out at work *again*, so I cannot leave unexpectedly.

Why can't I find someone to help me forget her the way she utterly made me forget my ex-wife? Why is this harder for me than every other relationship I have ever had?

I have been faking it. It's like another personality. I have this inexplicable charm and start talking to girls I do not honestly see myself with. I get them and then... they do not hit her mark. I ignore them. They go away.

I am left alone. Wanting her.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Free program... 2

Anyone out there use iTunes to listen to their mp3 collection? Use
Yahoo! Instant Messenger to chat? Run Windows9x or higher?

I recently wrote a program that takes your currently playing song in
iTunes and sets your YIM status message to reflect it.

I'll send it to you if you want it, YIM nick: misfitsfan76.

See the crosspost in my livejournal for screenshots:

User Journal

Journal Journal: Last Night 9

We were late to the concert and missed TKK. Sucked. Ministry was so fucking awesome (as usual) though!! Spent my time in the pit pushing and being pushed. So many memory filled old songs in adition to the new ones. Different arangements for everything, very nice.

The show started with a guy in a sloppy suit and a GW Bush mask seig heiling the audience over opera music. From then on it was non-stop head banging and singing along.

Afterwards my friends and I and a DJ that had joined TKK last week all went to the club. Had some drinks and a SoCo shot. Then on to a gay bar. More drinks.

I start getting calls from my ex-fiance at Ministry. She is in town. She starts acting like a jealous GF. I tell her to leave me alone and stop tripping. Then she tells me she is at a bar with her ex-husband. I tell her to leave me the fuck alone.

At the gay bar she tells me to get ready to leave I'm going home with her. Now part of me is excited by this. I was the ride for four people, so I make arrangements to have other ppl drive them. I meet her outside. We go to Whataburger to eat. It goes well. We go to my house. God I wanted her. She refuses sex. Then I find out she lied about a few things including being at a bar with her ex. Head game upon head game.

So I tell her to get the fuck out. Leave and take her head games with her. I texted her later that I didn't love her anymore, I now respect myself too much to put up with shit, and to leave me alone.

It is good that Cilla is so easy going because I made a mistake, a huge one. I want to see what happens with her. I am seeing her today, and I can't wait. No drama, no fighting, no games. Now granted we do not know each other well enough for all of that yet, but that's not a bad thing at this point.

Living and learning.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Fun night planned 2

Tonight I am going to see Ministry and My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult with Cilla as my date. Seen both of them before, but going to be killer. Ministry lives here in El Paso, I was in a local dive with them a few weeks ago, althought at the time talking to Al I didn't recognize them... At least I didn't turn into a fanboi :-)

I'll post an update later or mañana after the show...

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