There is such a thing as chance correlation, even in a complete absence of any causation at all. That is the point of the aphorism.
No, that's not the point. Of course if your standards for statistical significance are low enough you will find all sorts of nonsense "correlations." That is not the point. The point is that while there is a very strong correlation between the income of Massachusetts pastors and the price of rum, the pastors are neither financing the rum trade nor profiting off it.
"Inert" has absolutely nothing whatever to do with radioactivity, even though radioactive materials may or may not be inert.
Then the title should have been "Bacteria Used to Make Toxic Metals Inert."
"Ninety percent of baseball is half mental." -- Yogi Berra