You are an idiot!
Next time know what you are talking about before you start typing.
From the Canadian mint website. The cost to phase out the penny is 37M, with as saving of 11M a year.
In only 4 years there is a profit.

This is an example of US government stupidity. All they have to do is stop making $1 bills. The rest will take care of itself.
In Canada the banks were told to collect $1 bills and turn them over to the mint. It took about a year for the $1 bill to disappear.

Why the transaction will ALWAYS be in the merchant's favor of course!

I really doubt this will happen. For the 3 to 4 cents you might gain it is just not worth the risk that someone might pull out their phone, calculate it and throw a major fit in your store. Even if no one ever throws a fit, word will get around, (See internet) and people will simply not shop at retailers who do this.
I usually have very little faith in people, but in this case I will tend to believe in honesty.

Did you miss the part where it said purchases would be rounded to the nearest nickle?
As a Canadian I can tell you that the pennies will disappear quickly, because the banks have been told to collect them.
The place I get my morning breakfast has already started rounding to the nearest nickle. My breakfast comes to $3.66 total, and I am always asked for $3.65

I for one, say "About bloody time!"

That's just crazy talk! You need to lay off the drugs.

If only there were some place to search for knowledge. But even if there were, it would be unlikely to contain technical knowledge, or any way to get like minded people in touch with each other.
Sounds like a great idea for a new business. I am sure it would be a real money maker.

Science, genetics specifically, still offers us a little hope of finally leaving superstition behind us.

Have you not seen idiocracy?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/
It seems much more likely, to me, that the future depicted in that film is our future.

I am spending my time and money buying peoples houses. Spent every penny I have, but on Jan 1/2013 I take possession of 4 houses.

I am using this as my list of five technologies not to invest in.
My breakdown:
Touch through your phone, No chance.
Visual recognition for medicine, I doubt it.
Computers hearing everything, Ever heard of the ACLU?
Computerized taste, Why?
Computers that can smell, Why, also redundant (See taste)

"New shiny touchy colory" is not a legitimate business reason.

You have obviously never dealt directly with a CEO.

Correction:
sudo apt-get pay

Even better, just don't have kids. Then you can torrent all the nasty ass porn you want 24 hours a day.
Note: Voice of experience.

How could one abuse coffee? Inject it intraveniously?

Intravenous coffee seems like a damn good idea to me most mornings.

Always remember to add a decimal point or two to your made up statics. It makes them 82.4582645389319% more believable.

We're number 1!
All others are #2 or worse!