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Journal Journal: Well it's official... 2

You already know that Amy is with child. We're at week 8.
She's showing already, so there's really no hiding it.

The official news, is that I did get the promotion...YAY!

It's kind of whacked though. Since I'm a newbie at this type of job I have Manager Mentor, who will be there for questions and the critical decisions. In the mean time I get to learn about budgets and projects and managing in general.

I did get my old Boss's office though. So now I have a door! and windows! Real windows! It's a little hard for me though to leave the area I was in though. I sat in the same area for 8 freakin' years. I know my group now, very well, almost too well. Now I'm around a corner and across the hall. Not far, but far enough that I don't get to hear the everyday banter that goes on in the group. Maybe there's a purpose there. I'll have to see.

My old boss retired today. It's sad to see him go, he's a great guy. Very easy to work for. But Golf is his life now. Not SAP.

My title has gone from Sr Programmer Analyst to SAP Coordinator. So I'm not really management. I'll have to earn my way up. That's fine though, I need to learn it.

And no, I don't believe there's any extra money. Yet. Once I prove myself in this position, then maybe.

This is going to be an interesting year.


User Journal

Journal Journal: Man, this Lent thing is tough 4

I still have God knows how many days to go, I'm starting to go nuts at work. Especially Friday afternoons. Fridays are dead in my office, so I've had to get creative. I have actually caught up on most of my projects, at least the projects that are worth doing.

Things are going well, for all. I'm in NJ tonight and tomorrow. Bored in a Hampton Inn. Watchin' Olbermann...

Amy's at home, a college friend of her's came down to visit her. She, the friend, brought her 2 year old daughter along to terrorize our cats. They needed a good chasing. Lazy cats.

About the previously mentioned news, it's true, Amy's currently with child(ren). We're still so very early in this process, just started week 6, so hardly any one but Amy and me know. Now you do, so keep it hush-hush, don't tell our folks. We're going to try to wait the 3 months before we tell our parents. My Mom will go nuts, happily, heck last time she went hyper-sonic scaring dogs 3 counties away. Her Mom, lots of questions, "Are you sure you want to do this?" uh duh. She has the ability to make Amy feel guilty about anything, it's amazing.

I say child(ren), because we're not sure. Amy's been extremely tired and hungry, and she's only beginning her 6th week. She also worried about it possibly being diabetes (Sp?) or her thyroid.
I'd rather it be twins that diabetes, but I'll be thrilled with 1 health baby. That's all I want. Anything more is gravy.

We've taken some pictures of changes, eventually I'd like to get a simple web page up showing the progress. That won't happen though till after the 3 month "quiet period".

I just can't keep this to myself any more, I'm happy and scared all at the same time. Scared because of what I know can happen, and Happy, well, that's kind of a given.

I'll sign off for now. My mind is wondering and I'm on a crappy laptop, so I can't type worth a damn.


Sean D.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Today was a interesting day.... 3

A hell of a lot of stuff has been happening in the last 3 weeks.

1. My boss is retiring.
2. His boss is getting a new position in the company.
3. Our HR guy got canned after the Union vote.
4. They announced today they are closing one of our plants. Not the one I'm in, but it does affect me.
5. Got to meet my new boss's boss. He asked me if I'd be interested in being the next boss. I said yes. We'll see where it goes.
6. My wife just brought me some Tin Roof Ice Cream, yum!
7. Other news I'll share at a later day.

As far as #5, I have no managerial experience. Let me repeat NO experience. However, I want to learn.

So it sound's like this will be how it works out.

Guy A, who worked in our dept, till he got promoted out, will kind of over-see our group for the time being. I'll be between him and the group, I'll be learning the job and seeing if the shoe fits. If I grow into the job, then I can eventually take the position completely. I don't see that happening for a while.

It's going to be an interesting year.

Sean D.

Role Playing (Games)

Journal Journal: Addendum...

Also now I just had my yearly performance review...

another Whoo-hoo!!

I got the EE, excedes expectations. Dang the day just keeps getting better.

Also I put in my 2 cents about being interested in his (my soon to be retired boss) job. He's interested in me being interested. I just need to talk to his boss, CIO, to tell him "Hey look at me!".

So far sounds good though.

We'll see what happens. It cool though just to be one the list, that alone makes me happy.

Sean D.


Journal Journal: Hip-hip! Hooray!! No Union Today!

The vote was counted, and we do not have a Union!


It was like 128 to 83, so it wasn't a landslide but it was definitely a clear win.

Now we'll get to see if there are any changes here at the plant. They keep getting these union scares every year or 2, and they never make the necessary changes to really stop it. Maybe things will be different this time. The optimist in me hopes so, the cynic says "business as usual".

Friday is usually a good day for major announcements around here, so we'll see if anyone gets canned. There's about 2 or people that should be gone.

The KDE icon kind of looks Union-ish...The don't have an icon for the IBEW.

Sean D.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Career changes? 4

My immediate boss just announced his retirement today. Screwed up my day.

He's not the typical PHB that you hear stories about. He knows processes, doesn't claim to know programming or hardware. So our relationship has worked out well. He tells me what they need, I code it. At worst he makes UI recommendations. Real easy guy to deal with. Now he's leaving.

We have 3 other guys here who are right on the verge of retiring as well. Since the first domino fell, now the others will probabaly go as well.

So now the question remains. Am I moving up? In some ways I feel like management type, I like the understanding the processes. I understand some hardware, and a lot of software. But I'm not a real people person. That's something that can/will hurt me.

We'll see.

also a side note...

Union Vote no. I can't vote, only the shop can. and it sounds like it's split. First shift doesn't want it, Second does. I worked in one, it sucked.

also...for those that care, Amy and I are trying again. No luck so far, but I think we'll get there.

Sean D.

The Matrix

Journal Journal: Ask a Ninja.... 2

Just started checking out the free videos on Itunes...

Now I get:, Patrick Norton tech show
Diggnation, Kevin Rose...Not sure if I'll keep watching it.
Tiki Bar TV - Dr. Tiki, Lala and some other guy. This looks like it could be entertaining.

My favorite so far, Ask Ninja!

It's a short, "StrongBad email" type program. Pretty funny though.

If you get a chance check him out.

Sean D.


Journal Journal: I'm seeing a pattern develop in our lives recently... 3

Last night we went to a candle light vigil for people who lost infants...

There were some that were a long time ago, others much more recent than ours. It's kind of a sickly feeling to know that you aren't the most recent. "Damn...I wanted to be last.", I now know those raw emotions those others are now feeling.

It was a nice service, I'm not really religous, more spiritual actually. So constant Jesus-speak kind of irritates me. He knows where I am, if he needs me he'll call. But overall it was good. I think we may develop some new local friendships out of this, which is a very nice. Amy and I tend to keep to ourselves, so new people into our life can keep us growing.

The pattern I mention in the subject is the "Looking foward to..." pattern. Elmegil, I'm wondering if you saw this as well.

It started in the from the get go...We were looking forward to doctors visits to see what really happened. We contemplated what we wo do after we didn't have that to "look foward to". But right after that we had something else to "look forward to".
This pattern of trying to get through the next weeks has turned into 4 months of jumping from milestone to milestone. I think I'm getting Amy to see that to, we're starting to feel like we have lives to live again. Which is nice. We now have new things to do, a person to pray to, and other things I can't hink of right now...

We're still grieving though, of course. Amy and I do not fear death as we may have before. Not that we're egging on the pale rider, but we now feel that someone we deeply care for is waiting for us.

Last night Amy stated after the service that it was the first time she really felt like trying again. I guess all her posturing about it up till now has been lip service, not that I mind. Keeps people from bugging her. So we'll probably be starting again soon.

Isn't it odd that when people talk about sex for sex's sake it so much more brash and in your face, but when we talk about baby-makin' sex, it a much softer understated tone? It just feels weird to talk about trying to have kids as "banging my wife so she can squeeze out a litter." Something about that's just messed up....i'm not right.....

Well I must go. My parents are getting their HD directTv installed today. Must check in and make sure the guy hooked it up right.

"TECH SUPPORT!!!!" -- Tom 'weiner' Cruise from Vanilla Sky...funniest line of the movie.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Where the Magic is stored in the Magic Kingdom... 1

Disney was nice...75-80 degrees, as opposed to 29 here in the 'Burg this morning. It's always amusing to me to see the local Orlando weather guys doing the weather outside saying "Wow, what about this cold snap?". Silly weather guys.

We did our tours: Segways in Epcot, Keys to the Kingdom at the Magic Kingdom. Both were very nice and informative about the 2 parks.

I did like the Segways the best though. They gave us an hour of training, and then we rode around on them through the "World Showcase" for another hour. Those things are actually very easy to control, just lean forward or back. The steering's on the left hand side, it's a little ring on the handle bar you turn. They told us that there were 3 key to them, Black, Yellow and Red. Black allows you to go upto 5 MPH, yellow goes to 9, and red lets you max it out, I think it's 17 MPH, but I'm not sure. Since we were newbies they only gave us the black key. The instructors had the yellows, the reds they said were buried under the Cinderella's Castle along with Walt's frozen head. Even got a special Segway pin, for all you pin collectors out there.

The Keys to the Kingdom was a longer 5 hour tour, we walked around the park. The guide explained rides like the river safari and the Haunted Masion. He pointed out things that you typically don't notice. Like the windows in Main Street USA, they have people's names on them like in the opening credits of a movie. We saw the staging area for the parades, workshops for painting and maintenence. The guide took us down the the Utili-corridor...the "secret city" under the park it is not. It's just a corridor that rings around the park, it has some offices and break rooms. To me it reminded be of a backstage at a theatre, just a little bigger, and with electric carts. It was in the corridor, that you get to see Disney as a business. I could see myself getting just as irritated and grumpy working for them as I do for my current job. They have stict rules of dress, your "costume", not uniform, has to be just so. You're only allowed a mustache, no gotees or beards. And simple earrings, no hoops. While I can see some of it for safety reasons, I know it would just drive me nuts.

The Utili-corridor is the one thing that bothered my wife though, as nice and as kept up the park is, the Corridor isn't. Not to say it's totally trashed, but it is a working area, kind of like a factory floor or backstage area. I saw a spot where water leaked from a pipe on to a PA speaker, and now the speaker was just in pieces. Paint scrapes, old equipment and decorations were sitting around waiting to be put away. No exits were blocked or anything, it just reminded me of my garage.

Did get to see Rent at the AMC in Downtown Disney. I like the theatre version better, but the movie was decent. Jesse Martin was a good Tom Collins, Roger didn't seem to have a spark to his character like in the Broadway version. Some good songs left out, but over all they got the feel of the live version. Of course some older citizens came in watched half and left, just like when I saw it in Hershey. I'd give it a B-.

Ate at Wolfgang Puck's for lunch the one day, I ordered the chicken with mashed potatoes...which I though would be a cornish game hen with a bit of mashed tots.


It was a fricken' Perdue Oven-stuffer Roaster with mashed tots. The thing was HUGE. Very very good, but HUGE. I ate way to much down there. But I didn't gain any weight, weird. I guess it was all the walking we did.

If I think of any more stories I'll post them. But I should get to work.


User Journal

Journal Journal: A bittersweet anniversary... 5

Today, Veterans Day, is Amy and my's 5th wedding Anniversary. Uptil this past August I'd say that the time flew by. I can still remember the day like it was yesterday. I woke up around 11, went and got some lunch, came home, got dressed and was at the church by 1.

Trying to get that ring on her finger was the biggest problem of the whole day.

I'd amazing to think how innocent we were then. No idea of things to come.

I can definitely say we are doing better. We still go to support groups and stuff, and we're getting to the point where we wonder "Why are we here with these people?". Even though we are going through the same type thing as the other people, our emotions seem really distant from theirs. It's really hard to explain how. We tend to have a Buddist/Taoist philosophy, others are still very angry and bitter. One woman in group seemed actually put off by the fact we were going to Disney for our anniversary. Like we aren't suppose to be living.

I still get emotional at times, but those times are spreading out. I get a little teary eyed when I here, "Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd. Most people get upset over Tears in Heaven. Me, it's Floyd and Green Day. Bizarre.

There's a building confidence though, and growing anticipation for the future. Maybe some time in December we'll start trying again. Life for now though is returning to the new normal.

We don't have our son, but we do have each other. And today I'm going to celebrate the fact that our marriage brought him to us, even if we only had him for a short time.

Sean D.

"Were just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl..." - Pink Floyd

User Journal

Journal Journal: Ok where is it? Civ 4? 4

I took off today in anticipation of Civ4. It's delayed a day.

Well at least I was able to get a new speaker ordered for my car. I blew it out shortly after we lost Zack. Blaring angry music will do that. $64 for a replacement AC delco speaker. This last one is as old as the car, 7 1/2 years, so a new one should last me till I trade the car in.

What's nice is I can do my own maintenence, so instead of caosting me $150 to get it fixed, it's just the part. I wish I understood more about the car though.

Sean D.

User Journal

Journal Journal: Where I'm spending my money.... 1

DisneyWorld over Thanksgiving. We don't feel like doing the family thing this year. Instead let's spend it with a bunch of nuts dressed up as fuzzy animals in the hot Florida sun!

Animal Kingdom Lodge, Savanah View... I better wake up to Giraffes staring at me, or else I want my money back.

It's our 5th wedding anniversary on Nov 11th, so we figured why not enjoy it. We had a hell of a year, and we need some away time.

Anyway, this is the third time Amy and I will have been to the Mouse. So we decide to take some of the tours. I want to see about how the house elves are treated. May I'll wear a SPEW badge, and see who gets it.

When Amy was planning this I don't believe she realized how much money she was spending. But, given our Anniversary... ...
15 hours later ...
Crap...I got disrupted and forgot to put this in...

oh well.

Sean D.

The Media

Journal Journal: Everybody wants my money... 1

People may call me jaded, bitter, whatever...I don't care. The last 2 months have been Hell. But they are getting better.

Anyway, who wants my and your money? Everyone.

I get requests from the United Way, Humane Society, The Red Cross, our Church is doing a massive renovation, the Hospital, and every stinking disaster group from here to Timbuktu...literally.

And now on top of all of this charitable giving, the Feds are telling us we better save money to heat our houses this year. But we have to spend money to keep the economy strong.

I think I got a 3% raise last year, inflation is at what 3.5-4%? (I'm guessing, Google's not helping today). So the price of everything is going up, yet I'm making less.

And how the heck is the Gov't going to pay for everything? Our Gulf Coast is in shambles, the Persian Gulf Coast isn't any better. Now Condi Rice is pledging more aid to Pakistan and such. It all has to come from somewhere. So eventually taxes will go up, and we'll have even less money to spend on charities, heating our house, eating, medications...

Is it just me or is the world about ready to collapse? I'm hoping it's just me.

This is just a rant...I felt like getting some feelings out. So if this doesn't make complete sense to you, oh well.

Sean D.


Journal Journal: Hmm..replace the Firebird or not.... 2

I just spent the last 2.5 hours at the Hyundai dealership in town debating about whether to trade in the ol' Firebird for a Sante Fe...(makes me think of Rent* everytime I say Sante Fe). I have severe separation anxiety over losing my car. I've had it since May of '98, new, custom ordered...I could go into details of what I got with it but I won't.

With the recent events, and all the other unknowns, the reality of a $22000 purchase just seems too much. Buying a car ain't going to help anybody but the dealer. I think I'd rather get my therapy from a trained professional and not a car.

It's also weird, in that, when I bought the Firebird I had no qualms about writing out the down-payment check. "What $500, no problem....". This time, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

They brought out everybody though, the initial sales guy (19 years old, young but nice), the overseer (overly tanned middle aged woman), and the Sales Manager (my age, nice guy). Of course they were pushy, they're car dealers. The deal was decent, 249 over invoice, only offered 4000 for my car (Edmunds says 5175). I just couldn't say yes.

A lot of emotions wrapped up in my dang car, first date with Amy. It got me stuck in the snow at her house, so I spent the night, fun first date...Kind of like my "Enchantment under the Sea" dance from Back to the Future.

But then Amy now hates the car (of course), it rides rough, expensive to repair, not that great on gas...and it's not really kid friendly. Kids like it but it doesn't have room for all their crap.

I just happen to have the last repair bill for my car sitting in front of me, 306.46...about $100 less than the car payment used to be. Damn, it's a piece of crap, but it's mine. It growls when you start it up, and still purrs on the highways, it just has a few extra squeaks and rattles now. It's so fun to drive, I love racing it around, it's low center of gravity makes it handle like a dream.

So I guess I'm not really ready.

Nope, not ready at all. I kind of want to go out and detail it now. It fits me like an old pair of jeans....

Sean D.

* Rent - Musical,East village Rock-opera...use'll find it.

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