Someone tell New York Times Johnson he ain't trending no more.

If I said "duck vaginas" would anyone know to what I'm referring?

Looks like I've got some new ammo for those paternity test results. Those little quantum-tunneling buggers! Nothing in space-time could have held them back!

TSIA

My favorite part of Fox News is the polls they conduct, and how they are always very skewed toward the conservative angle. Because liberals DON'T WATCH FOX NEWS. The only liberals watching Fox News are comedy writers.

Thinking any password sacrosanct on this here interwebs is ridiculous. The self-satisfied Gawker-enthusiast is the very type of person who should know better.

The co-evolution of humans and dogs is so wonderfully intertwined that canines are the only animals in the kingdom that can follow an extended finger to see where a person is pointing, rather than just staring at an extended finger. But if you point at a cat it quickly runs away. So, smarter who?

It's a catch 22. How else are people going to learn about it if nobody talks about it and if people talk about it it's gonna get yanked. Wow. I read that sentence and realized how depressingly accurately it describes truth in American politics.

It kills me to realize that US power and influence is justifiably minuscule. My cun (-try) my cun (same), what have we done. But we're such a noble country. We invaded Iraq to unseat a ruthless tyrant. Is it our fault we didn't bother to formulate a plan that dealt with protecting the Iraqi people after the collapse of their government? We gotta do every little thing? It's not our fault we lied about intelligence reports and totally made up a pretense to justify invading a country that had absolutely nothing to do with the assault on the Twin Towers. So we undermined the leadership of so many countries in order to prop up pro-US leaders. What me worry. I just don't understand why the US isn't worshiped as a god. Like, totally.

I can't fucking stand the racism in scientific research these days. They are ALL holes. Your momma taught you better....

My friend Sony Peterson told me this kind of thing is starting to gain traction.

So the people who pirate are forcing the ones who don't to help rights holders regain a portion of revenue that would otherwise be lost to them. Looks like media companies are attacking pirates socially rather than financially.

All lawyers are assholes until you need one.

"Are you going to kill me, robot?" ::robot sharpens knife:: "I would never kill you, Jonathan. Hey is that a beautiful naked lady over there in the opposite direction of me?"

Dollars to doughnuts nobody in the U.A.E. is surfing thepiratebay right now. I'll eat my hat.