The exercise of these freedoms, since it carries with it duties and responsibilities, may be subject to such formalities, conditions, restrictions or penalties as are prescribed by law and are necessary in a democratic society, in the interests of national security, territorial integrity or public safety, for the prevention of disorder or crime, for the protection of health or morals, for the protection of the reputation or rights of others, for preventing the disclosure of information received in confidence, or for maintaining the authority and impartiality of the judiciary.

You're wrong. 17 USC section 117:

So, in short, software licenses are bullshit.

Part 0: Preamble

I don't usually follow the gaming press, but it is impossible to have missed Spore, so big was the hype surrounding it. You should know that I am not what you would call a 'hardcore' gamer; I don't spend ten hours a day in front of a computer, I don't have ten level 80s in World of Warcraft, and I can't say that I particularly enjoy totally pwning myself some noobs. That puts me square in the center of the Spore target audience, and, I hope, makes me qualified to write the following review.

I shall begin with getting the game.

There was a package outside my door yesterday morning; I guess the mailman had left it while I was still asleep. I brought it inside and took it into the kitchen. I poured a scoop of coffee into the machine and started to unwrap it while I waited for my coffee to brew.

It was, indeed, Spore. The game box is pretty standard, with the cover picture, naturally, not being related to the gameplay in any way. In the box was a manual and an install disk. My coffee maker dinged before I could examine them closely. I poured myself a cup and took a sip. I had been expecting it to wake me up, but for some reason it just made me angry.

I popped the disk into my laptop and began the install; I had expected it to take a few minutes, given the sheer mass of content it would have to move, so I was pleasantly surprised when it launched the game almost instantly, taking me directly into...

Part I: Cell Mode

In cell mode, you control a protozoa (the box-shaped critter) at the very beginning of its evolutionary journey. You use the mouse to guide it as it swims around the primordial soup, devouring lesser microbes; the goal is to eat and avoid being eaten.

I guided my cell to swim around a little, eating the floating icons, and generally dominating the game space.

Some time later, I advanced enough to begin using the editors (more on that later), and began designing fantastic new creatures.

After about two hours, I started making some real progress: a little notice popped up saying that the evolutionary battery was running low. Surely, I thought, I will soon evolve. Then my laptop turned off, the game apparently over.

Part II: Initial Thoughts

I was somewhat disappointed with Spore. Not only had the advanced multi-cellular features been cut, but the ending felt unfulfilling and tacked-on. Seeing some sort of cutscene congratulating me on my victory would have been nice; at the very least, I would have expected Maxis to run the credits.

Then again, it's an interesting bit of commentary on the state of our society that they needed to shut down my computer, surely as a way to combat ever-increasing rates of video game addiction. While gaming is entertaining, there is a whole wide world outside the glow of the monitor; thank you, Maxis, for reminding us of that. Taking their message to heart, I got up from the computer and found the list of things I had been putting off...

Part III: Replay

I returned to the Spore this morning, having spent the rest of that day fixing my car's brakes, painting the garage, and reading with my son. I started a new game, hoping to see some of the content I might have missed the first time through, but this time I beat it less than a minute.

Part IV: The Editors

I don't understand the hype about the customizability, as that part of the game is really nothing special. In fact, I was halfway through the game before could edit my creature at all. Sure, it's nice to be able to change the its basic color scheme (through the handy, though somewhat clunky, 'Appearence Settings' box), but you can't change its shape or the structure of its markings, nor can you add things on to it. It's entertaining to see the sorts of beasts you can make, once you figure out your way around the editor, but I really didn't feel that my choices really affected the gameplay. Some more depth in this area would have been much appreciated.

Final Score:

Spore's a pretty good game. I had a lot of fun, despite the massive cuts from what had been promised. However, it was disappointingly short given its eight year development time, and the replay value is practically none. Pick it up in a few months, after prices have dropped a little.

Four stars.