I haven't been to a movie theater since I was dragged against my will to see Gladiator. Before that I was drug against my will to see Star Wars:EP1 and Happily Ever After. I don't give money to cartels, err, the MPAA if I can help it.

But tonight, I went to see S.o.a.P.

IT WAS MOTHERFARKING AWESOME!!!

No spoilers, but I will say, it was twice as good as I expected, and I figured it'd be good. The only complaints I have are:
      1. It starts REALLY SLOWLY.
      2. They never show the actual killing the witness saw, but show every other gruesome death.
      3. The only death I coulda done without is the guy who gets trampled to death.

Those are just little things, over all the movies was great. I give it 4 out of 5 snakes up!

-Ab

ps. don't bother staying for the video for the theme sone afterwards. It's awful. The highlite is a few, slight "side of boob" shots of the emaciated female in the band who looks like an anorexic Courtney Love in the middle of a heroin bender.

Ok, thanks to those that responded. I'm using Eclipse right now and following the "Thinking In Java" book (just finished chapter 2.

Some observations so far:

• Is there any difference in Syntax from C++? I mean besides the obvious as Java lacks pointer notation (so no *p references), but from what I've seen so far, the syntax is exactly the same as C++, except that it's case sensative.

• One thing frustrates me to no end in Eclipse: Whenever I type out an object, class, or method and get to the "." to call something else inside it, it pops up all possible matches. This I like, but is it possible to change it so that when the match I want is the first in the list that I can hit "tab" instead of "enter" to select it. Just a pet peeve as all of the IDEs I used for my other languages used the tab button and it's getting a bit frustrating :)

  ***UPDATE***
  Figured it out. Window-> Preferences-> General-> Editors-> Keys-> Edit-> Word Completion-> Add "Tab"

• Here is my first bit of code from scratch:

  /* Thinking in Java 3rd ed. r4.0
  * Chapter 2 Exercise 5
  *
  * Write a program that includes and calls the storage( )
  * method defined as a code fragment in this chapter.
  *
  * Fragment:
  * 1. int storage(String s) {
  * return s.length() * 2;
  * }
  *
  * StorageTest.java by Abmoraz
  */

  class StorageSize {
  /* A string requires 2 bytes for every character.
  * StorageSize.storage() returns this value.
  */
      int storage (String s) {
              return s.length() * 2;
      }
  }

  public class StorageTest {
      public static void main(String[] args) {
          StorageSize S = new StorageSize();
          String str = new String("ThinkingInJava");
          System.out.println("The string: ");
          System.out.println(" " + str);
          System.out.print("requires ");
          System.out.print(S.storage(str));
          System.out.println(" bytes of storage.");
          return;
      }
  }

-Ab

Ok, I'm taking the plunge. I'm leaving comfortable box that is C++ and VB and am going to try and learn JAVA.

My questions are:

      1. Where do I start? Keep in mind that I have *0* budget. I can't even buy a book, more or less an expensive IDE. Are there free things available (like F/OSS)? I prefer Windows environment, but also have a Debian box at home that's kinda beat up. Even if the stuff isn't free, recommend it anyways. I might be able to come up with the ability to get it.

      2. I'm a fairly advanced programmer already. I understand things like sorts, searches, OOP, loops, decision statements, stacks, queues, linked lists, variable types, pointers, etc. I'm not looking for a void main() {printf("hello world!/n");} type stuff. Some of those that played GalaxisOnline with us (planet FSoF RULED!) have seen some of my programming ability and level with the psuedo-browser I integrated into Excel.

      3. My main goal is to take a few of the games I wrote in VB and recreate them in JAVA. This is mainly just to show my different programming skills. I.e.: This is how I handle user input. This is how I call a database. This is how I move sprites. etc...

My big problem is that I will have been un(der)employed for a year on friday. I've gone on several interviews but most of my skills are outdated (VB6, and such) and I need to update.

Thanks for any help.

-Ab

I fail to see the big deal about showing an image of Mohammed on South Park. They've pictured him before standing next to Jesus. He can even shoot fire out of his hands. How cool is that! All Jesus could do was build a mold for a giant John Wilkes Booth.

Noone complained then. Hypocracy is great, no?

-Ab

ps. if you want to see the new image of Mohammed, he's visible in the opening credits/sequence of "The Return of Chef" and "Smug Alert!". They've since editted him out. Anyone that's got them TiVo'd/MythTV'd can catch it.

Fire

GLUTEN ... FREE ... BEER

-Ab

A shock to the system. Someone I know was arrested today for brutally bludgeoning a man to death. (link 1 and link 2) I had played poker with him quite regularly. He was a short tempered man whom many of us started trying to avoid. He was a coke-head* and frequently played when severely drunk. I have seen him lose over $140 in a single sitting when we were playing $20 max buy-in. I disliked playing with the man so much that I've skipped a few games just cause I knew he'd be there. The last time we played, I was up $70 for the night (most won from him) and he started gunning for me. It was so bad that if he was in the hand, I folded automatically cause I didn't want to deal with him, even if he limped into my big blind.

He was a manager at one of the nicer bar/restaurants, but was recently fired (2 weeks ago) for doing coke** on the job. The bar/restaurant crowd here is rather close knit. For the most part, we all know each other and get along. It's almost like a fraternity of sorts. When you walk into another person's place, you get better treatment (extra drinks, free stuff, no cover, discounts, etc...) because you're part of "the bar crowd" (phrase coined by a friend of mine that owns a bar in town). To see something like this happen is really ... trying to find the word ... disconcerting. It's not the word I'm looking for, but it's close enough. Especially considering that another of our own died 2 weeks ago after being stabbed in the heart while trying to break up a fight.

There are others that do coke (I do not), but none seemed anywhere near the problems that Andy had. If you read the second article, "Dan" (someone I play poker with much more often and talk to more regularly) was quoted as saying that Andy never raged or blacked out. This HAS to be a pure P.R. move on his part, as he's been there when we had to kick Andy out before.

As for 'Sweet', I think I might have met him before, but I can't be sure. I don't want to speculate because if it is who I think it might be, I couldn't even ID him if I wanted to. After reading the description, I think the 3 of us (me, Dan, and Andy) played poker at his place this summer. I thought his name was Tony, or Anthony, or something to that nature. I don't believe he was ever called 'Sweet' once, but the description fits and he was the one that introduced us to Andy.

As for the dead guy... never met him or heard of him. Don't even think he was part of the poker or bar/restaurant crowd.

All in all, this REEKS of a cocaine deal gone bad. I'm glad I seperated any ties I had with him about 2 months ago. I don't want to have anything to do with this.

-Ab

* I have never seen him actually snort. Just what I've been told by friends.
** Again, just hearsay through the bar/resaurant grapevine.

*****************UPDATE***************
After reading the article in today's paper, I realized I had played poker with the guy who was killed.

Watch this.

Here is the original (linky linky)

-Ab

Bye-Bye French-Canadian Guy

Long, long time ago
I can still remember
For a dollar you could sit real high
I knew if we got our chance
We could make Lord Stanley dance
If maybe we could draft a big French guy
For 16 years we sat and shivered
In one draft pick it was delivered
Good news on the doorstep, the Stanley Cup just one step
I can't remember if I cried when I read about that big French guy
Something touched me deep inside
The day Lemieux retired

Chorus:
Bye Bye French-Canadian guy
Drive your beamer to the Igloo past the parking lot guy
And vendor boys will sell you their I.C. Light
But this will be the day the Pens die
This will be the day the Pens die

Do you hate a scoreless tie?
And do you have faith in Stan and Guy
When they're on the radio?
And do you believe in the breakout pass
Do his hattricks knock you on your ass
And can you teach me how to skate real fast
Well we know his back is pretty sore
And he's not a young guy anymore
When he kicks off the skates
He leaves us second rate
We were knockin on the basement floor
When we drafted him in '84
How in the world can we endure
The day Lemieux retired

Chorus
Bye Bye French-Canadian guy
Drive your beamer to the Igloo past the parking lot guy
And vendor boys will sell you their I.C. Light
But this will be the day the Pens die
This will be the day the Pens die

I met Grant Fuhr of the St. Louis Blues
And I asked him for some happy news
He said Mario has gone away
And I know if I had my chance
And I sounded like I came from France
Maybe they just might let me play
But coach saw me and he said: No, Not, Never
My boss said: Your pay I'll sever
I sit and watch the playoffs
KNOWING FLYERS ARE ALL JAG-OFFS!
And the 3 men I admire most:
Stan and Guy and Myron Cope
Skipped right by with my remote
The day Lemieux retired

Chorus
Bye Bye French-Canadian guy
Drive your beamer to the Igloo past the parking lot guy
And vendor boys will sell you their I.C. Light
But this will be the day the Pens die
This will be the day the Pens die

We'll miss ya, Mario.

-Ab

In the vein of Super Mario and the Acapella medly ...

I give you Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!

-Ab

****UPDATE****
Link is fixed. That's what I get for trying to hot-link directly to the media file.

Zap2it's servers are down!!

TURN OFF YOUR AUTOMATIC mythfilldatabase SETTINGS!

If mythfilldatabase runs, you will lose some, if not all your listings. (trust me, I found out the hard way).

You can check to see if their database is up by going here. If the actual page shows up, you should be fine and can run mythfilldatabase again. If you get a ton of Oracle errors, it's still down.

If you find that you've lost some settings there are 2 options (once Zap2it is back up):

      1. run mythfilldatabase --manual from SSH or a terminal. It's a bit tedious, so beware.

      2. run mythtv-setup. Select "no" to clearing card info, but "yes" to clearing channel info. Re-setup your channels and connect it to your card, then download all the listings again by running mythfilldatabase once. It should grab the next 2 weeks all over again.

-Ab

-Ab

If I had a gun, I'd shoot myself. Oh wait, I do. I have 9. They're safely locked up at the house I'm supposed to be at in 6hrs. If my f'in mechanics could tell their ass from a whole in the wall, I'd be there already, but instead, they've had my car for 10 days, ordered wrong parts twice, and after telling me it'd be done last friday, then tuesday, then friday, then noon today, are telling me it'll be noon on tuesday at the earliest. I'd go take it back from them except that it's the brake lines that are missing and I couldn't get very far.

I haven't even been able to shop yet cause I haven't got a damn ride to the stores. At least I'll get to buy my gifts at the after-christmas sales (assuming I actually get my car back on tuesday).

Merry f'in X-mas. Time to go put the Christmas Ham (and Cheese Hot Pocket) in the (toaster) oven.

-Ab

So, I got a christmas card from my mom today. Inside was a 2 page letter that looks like it was sent out with all their cards. Below is a transcript of said letter, complete with all punctuation and grammar errors (with the names changed to protect the guilty). Some background:

ABM0RAZ.DAD is 5'8", 185 pounds and is the most stoic man I know. Nothing phases him. I've never seen him cry, show pain, raise his voice. I've barely seen him celebrate a Steeler touchdown. Also, he's 54, diabetic, and nearly legally blind.

ABM0RAZ.MOM is 5'9", 105 pounds and is the most emotional person I ever met. She freaks out about EVERYTHING. Finding a dollar in her pants on laundry day is a reason to call the local paper. She is 50, arthritic, and a heavy smoker.

----------

Merry Christmas everyone. We wanted to drop you a little note to get everyone up to date with the ABM0RAZ.LASTNAME.

ABM0RAZ graduated this year with a degree in Industrial Engineering. ABM0RAZ.BROTHER got a promotion and moved to Kentucky. We are extremely proud of both of them.

Both kids moved this year, which starts my stories.

First ABM0RAZ. He has a theory that you don't need to wash dishes, you just buy more. When there are so many dirty dishes in your kitchen that you can't walk in, you move. That's where mom and dad come in. He doesn't move far, sometimes a block or so, sometimes just to another apartment in the same building. He also does not pack before moving day. Moving day involves filling milk crates with stuff and he and his dad hauling things down the road. In the meantime I wash dishes. The first time I washed them for about two hours, the last time it was about five. There is a dishwasher in his townhouse, so I don't think he will ever move again.

ABM0RAZ.BROTHER on the other hand moves far (Florida, Pittsburgh, Kentucky). He has everything packed and all of his furnature disassembled when we arrive. The problem with his moves is the distance he goes. As you probably know, I don't like to travel, and I especially do not like to drive. Well the theory was ABM0RAZ.BROTHER would drive his car, ABM0RAZ.DAD would drive the U-Haul and I would drive our car. Big mistake. Everything started out well, we got him picked up and we took off. ABM0RAZ.DAD was leading and I followed him. All went well until we got to Columbus and decided to stop for the night. We checked into the hotel and decided to get gas before we went to bed. The gas station was across the street, but you could not get there from where we were.

So ABM0RAZ.DAD leading in the truck makes a right turn on red, Before I could get through the light, it changed and a row of traffic got inbetween us. We had to go down the road, turn onto a side street and circle back onto the highway. Did not happen. After I lost ABM0RAZ.DAD, I tried to find the side road. What I thought was a turn into a shopping center turned out to be the entrance ramp onto I-70. I knew that if I got onto the highway I would never find my way back and I had no way to let ABMORAZ.DAD know where I was. So I decided to back off the highway (don't ever travel with me). Once I got to the end of the on-ramp, I had no way to get back onto the road without backing into the lane of oncoming traffic. So guess what I did? I finally connected with ABM0RAZ.DAD at the gas station and we made it back to the motel in one piece. The next morning when we were leaving we found out all we would have had to do was go straight through the light. The little side road would have taken us tight to the gas station, which, by the way, was in view the whole time.

At this point, any normal person would not have let me drive any further, but we are talking about us. THe trip took us through Cincinnati. Not only do I not like to drive, but city driving terrifies me. The highway took us through downtown Cinci. I was white knuckled and chewing my gum so hard that saliva was drooling down my face. WHen we got through the city and stopped, ABM0RAZ.DAD asked if I saw the stadiums. I said, "What stadiums?" He said they were on both sides of this huge bridge we went over. I hit him.

We got ABM0RAZ.BROTHER moved in without anymore problems and made it home. ABM0RAZ.DAD drove.

We remodled our bathroom this year. Of course I wanted a huge, cast-iron claw foot tub. It weighs 350 pounds. Now you all have seen my house, narrow stairway and a sharp U-turn at the top leading down a narrow rail-lined hallway to get to the bathroom. There is no way to describe, without actually showing a video what it was like to have four grown men, each over 220 pounds, and a 350 pound tub in a narrow stairway. The good news is that they got it in up and in while only knocking out one stair spindle, one small knick in the tub and one busted molding.

After all this, you would think we would be content to sit at home. Not us. We decided to go to Ocean City for a week. As we were carrying our luggage into the room, ABM0RAZ.DAD said, "Do you smell something burning?" I could let your imaginations run wild, but you would never come up with what really happened. ABM0RAZ.DAD set a case of beer on the stove. The previous tenants had left the burner on. Yes, the beer caught on fire.

OK, we came home, everything is peaceful. You think? I turned the water on to take a bath in my new tub. I could hear water running but nothing was coming out of the faucet. I ran downstairs, and lo and behold the office was filled with water. A pipe had broken. ABM0RAZ.DAD turned off the water and I had just started to clean up when he yelled, "LOOK OUT". The ceiling fell.

Life is never boring.

We do have good news, his dad turned 88 this year and mine celebrated his 86th birthday. Mom is doing well and we consider ourselves blessed to still be sharing our lives with them.

We would love to have you visit us, but we recommend you call first and check on the following things before you arrive.

• Has ABM0RAZ.DAD bought beer lately, and if so, is the house still standing?

• If you sit in the office, will you be hit by a waterfall?

And whatever you do, do not ask me for directions, you could end up in Alaska.

Happy Holidays, hope to see you all soon.

ABM0RAZ.MOM

Now that Mind of Mencia is in re-run status till February, I had to find another equally funny, yet thought-provokingly offensive show to watch.

Friends, neighbors, secret lovers ... set your DVRs to Cartoon Network's (Adult Swim) at 11pm Sunday nights for: The Boondocks.

I nearly pissed my pants after just seeing the first episode.

Some choice quotes from the movie:

Riley: You think we in trouble?
Huey: You just shot his grandson out a window. What'chu think?

Grandad: See? That's what Im talkin' about right there. We don't use the "N-word" in this house.
Huey: Grandad, you said the word nigger 46 times yesterday. I counted.
Grandad: Nigger-hush.

Huey: Grandad, you can't tame the white supremicist power structure with cheese.
Grandad: Yes I can.

Huey: Grandad, you cannot force me to be someone I'm not.
Grandad: The hell I can't. You gonna go. And you're not gonna embarrass me in front of my new neighbor.
Riley: Why can't we be ourselves. Why can't I be me? Are you ashamed of me?
Grandad: VERY!

interesting note: The line "He looks like he jacks off with Icy-Hot." was not bleeped, the the very next line, "He looks like he jerks off with gerbils" was (the word jerks).

Give it a look-see.

-Ab

Philadelphia (PA) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia, PA courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

-Ab

(blatantly stolen off an IM from tonysee)