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Submission + - Breaking Madden Super Bowl Breaks Madden

theodp writes: For his Breaking Madden Super Bowl, SB Nation's Jon Bois aimed for scoring a thousand points in one game by pitting a team of Seattle Seahawk giants (7', 400 lbs) against a team of Denver Bronco runts (5', 160 lbs). Bois explains: "Think of Marshawn Lynch during his famous Beast Quake run (YouTube). Specifically, the moment when Lynch stretches out his hand, shoves Tracy Porter in the face, and sends him flying into oblivion. Imagine that someone is that omnipotent, not for just one instant, but for their entire lives. Imagine also that this player is seven feet tall and 400 pounds heavy, and that there is no stronger, smarter, faster, or more skilled football player on the planet. Now imagine 41 of them. In previous editions of Breaking Madden, I've made a small handful of these sorts of players — maybe one, or three, or five. Never 41." Things started out promisingly: "About 10 minutes into the game," Bois writes, "I had scored 262 points." But then, Bois notes, the game stopped counting: "I was pretty amused that a computer could attempt the most basic of tasks — addition — and come up with two kinds of wrong." Undeterred, Bois kept track of the score himself. "With just under two minutes left in the first quarter, I was winning 366 to zero. I realized that I was on pace to score 1,500 points in a single game. I had never conceived of such a high score. I'd never even heard anyone talk idly about such a thing. There was absolutely nothing the Broncos could do to slow down my pace. I could score just as surely as someone can point and click. It was great. I wanted to ruin Madden in a way I never had before, and I was doing it." But then it happened. "There were no players on the field. I scanned up and down, and my eyes caught a little speck of something at midfield...So then I zoom in. It's like this half-Bronco, half-Seahawk fetus. The game has told me in the only language it has left that it has been broken...And the season was over, and the machine bled to death."
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Breaking Madden Super Bowl Breaks Madden

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"How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?" "FIFTEEN!! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"