Blue-Green Algae Announces IPO 109
Shturmovik[KGB] writes "Now if *this* ain't bitingly appropriate, I don't know what is!
Blue-Green Algae has announced that they will be entering the IPO market. " Algae, aka anabaena, and myself who has a patent on respiration will be entering into a strategic alliance to corner the market on respiration and oxygen. The royalties alone...
I love it (Score:1)
In related news.. (Score:3)
More details will follow
Re:Amazing. (Score:2)
~luge
ALG Named in several class action suits (Score:5)
1). A stock option plan has left the company with outstanding obligations averaging 10 shares per employee, or 7.6x10^15 shares. This means the company debt exceeds the number of electrons in the sidereal universe.
2). Several class action lawsuits have been filed by various organizations. These are:
A) Friends of the Earth has sued based on the large number of lakes eutrophied by blue-green algea in the northeastern parts of the US.
B) The Sierra Club has sued ALG for environmental pollution resulting from release of various and sundry toxins into the environment including a variety of heptaoxins and cytotoxins.
C). Several species of archea have joined a class action suit for misappropriation of native lands and traditional food resources. Prior to the wanton atmospherical conversion by poisonous oxygen as a result of environmentally neglectful use of photosynthesis, archeabacterial were free to live and roam over the entire face of the earth. Now we are confined to small areas such as undersea volcano vents and hot springs. Never in the history of the planet has genocide, species extinction and ethnic cleansing been conducted on such a scale. Compensation claimed is total reconversion of the Earth's atmosphere a methane base.
D). The US EPA has sued the blue-green algae for massive amounts of oil pollution during the Proterozoic Era. The US EPA claims that it is well known that large ancient oil deposits were formed during that period of time, and we anticipate being able to prove that the amounts of oil formed far exceed those formed in more recent geological periods. The common conception that most oil was formed in recent geologic epochs is just a urban myth.
E.) The NAACA (National Association for the Advancement of Colored Algae) has sued for discrimination. A representative stated "the use of the perjorative term 'blue green algae' is not acceptable to members of the cyanobacteria family that are red or pink pigmented. We are tired of being ignored for our contribution to the earth's atmosphere, and being persecuted under names like the 'red tide'. This discrimination must stop, and politically incorrect names like blue-green algae are not to be tolerated!
Its been done before (Score:2)
They call air "Wonder-Whiffs" and try to corner the market...
Re:The Onion (Score:1)
You guys should really get out more, maybe read more informed and diverse views than those that are being peddled here.
"News in the Slashdot Age" has a tendency to be either A.) repackaged, or B.) uninformed. If you read the primary sources more you will come to understand this.
On the plus side the server seems to be down a lot less, which is good since this site was a terrible example of an "Open Source Site", with extended downtimes almost daily.
Re:Microsoft Announces MS Breathable Gas (Score:1)
Re:Err, maybe some of us *are* getting stupider. (Score:1)
send flames > /dev/null
Re:I don't think this is a good bet (Score:1)
more correctly, i think: if any one of them had another neuron, he'd have a synapse.
cheers.
grammar police (Score:1)
Dude.
Try landoverbaptist.org (Score:2)
Damnit! (Score:1)
--algae
I've got one! Re:Beowulf (Score:1)
Does some things very well, but has about %30 downtime, during which the multimedia are a bit flakey.
I keep it in an enclosure at the end of my neck.
Sanity For Today
Farley Flavors (of Fabulous Fast Food fame)
Re:Its kinda unethical (Score:2)
Re:Yesterday's news today (Score:2)
My take on your feelings.... (Score:1)
;^)
Gotta like that Liquid Getting Thing (Score:1)
"The pits the fact Anabaena that has failed to turn a profitable more quarter since its founding into the early Proterozoic Era, barrier Street experts said the algae's good name and substantial liquid getting thing should more than compensate."
What is this Liquid Getting Thing? Is it some kind of PR boost to improve stock performance, or is it some kind of thinly veiled threat? I, for one, would hate to wake up one moring to find that all my liquid was gone.
The combined use of Forces of Nature (tm) (Score:1)
Since I have a patent on "The combined use of Forces of Nature (tm)" I think you should be paying me the royalties.
I will see you in court...
Re:Err, maybe some of us *are* getting stupider. (Score:1)
Microsoft Announces MS Breathable Gas (Score:1)
A spokesman for Microsoft stated that they were committed to providing the richest respiratory experience to their customers by integrating MS Atmosphere 2000 into their MS Basic Life Needs System. "With MS Breathable Gas, both the corporate and home user can breathe easier, knowing that the gaseous content of their lungs are handled by the number one gas bag in the marketplace."
The Microsoft spokesman was also quoted as saying "compared to MS Atmosphere 3.1, it's a breath of fresh air."
--
Re:Is the domain name still available ? (Score:2)
'Round these parts, we don't take to domain-name squatters kindly (loads double-barreled shotgun).
Vovida, OS VoIP
Beer recipe: free! #Source
Cold pints: $2 #Product
Re:Even better (Score:2)
Vovida, OS VoIP
Beer recipe: free! #Source
Cold pints: $2 #Product
holy crap! (Score:1)
If you think you know what the hell is really going on you're probably full of shit.
Re:The Onion and User Friendly - Not Funny (Score:1)
LocalEmperor
-=He is watching you=-
Re:The Onion (Score:1)
Funny, because I read most of The Onion last night, and it was certainly not today's issue (yes, I did reload my browser). I've seen this trend before.
The issue dates also suggest that they are published every Wednesday. I see no reason for the web version to appear two days before the print model.
You guys should really get out more, maybe read more informed and diverse views than those that are being peddled here.
Pot. Kettle. Black.
"News in the Slashdot Age" has a tendency to be either A.) repackaged, or B.) uninformed. If you read the primary sources more you will come to understand this.
In general, yes. But stories are also more interesting on Slashdot, because of the semi-informed discussion threads. You evidently agree, or you wouldn't have read my comment in the first place.
Re:The Onion and User Friendly - Not Funny (Score:1)
Re:Not too far from the truth (Score:1)
Re:Gotta like that Liquid Getting Thing (Score:1)
First, use a proxy server to surf. One of these might work:
http://www3.noproxy.com/
http://www.anonymizer.com/
or an encrypted one
https://lesser-magoo.lcs.mit.edu/px.html
If you need forms support (for hotmail or something) you might have problems with these. Luckily, my network admin is not quite so intelligent. To bypass bess (in navigator), simply go to the edit menu, preferences, advanced, proxies, and select direct connection! Yes, he forgot to block port 80 traffic. If you use IE or something, it's a lot eaiser to disable the control panels, so you'll need more sophisticated hacking. You're admin is probably not so stupid, so that won't work. Good luck anyway.
Re:Amazing. (Score:1)
Re:Not too far from the truth (Score:1)
--GnrcMan--
Actually, that's been done (Score:2)
But that spoils the fun. I personally don't see this as a problem at all. In fact, I read this IPO article on the Onion last week and got a good laugh out of it. When I saw it here, I eagerly read through comments, because it is statistically likely that some people just won't get it. heh heh heh... Those comments should be moderated up as "funny" IMHO
--
grappler
Re:Sorry, #rit. Invitation declined. (Score:1)
Amazing. (Score:3)
you'll never be rich . . . (Score:5)
jsm
I want in. (Score:1)
---------------
I don't think this is a good bet (Score:4)
The company has 760 trillion employees. While each one works for peanuts (or methane), the potential for labour unrest is phenomenal.
$47 is way over priced for a company with only two products. Supposing we all decided to stop using oxygen?
Just because they're prokaryotic doesn't mean they're good businessbeings. Half of Microsoft's upper management are single-celled.
"We Didn't Make The Atmosphere, We Just Made It Breathable" - bullshit. It may be a major oxygen producer, but it's far from the only one.
Save your money. Buy andover shares. Or can I say that here?
Yesterday's news today (Score:1)
Seriously, can you guys try to keep the postings actually NEW?
Re:The Onion and User Friendly - Not Funny (Score:1)
Keep up this behaviour and no dinner for you!
OML! (Score:2)
Kintanon
Re:I want in. (Score:1)
So you murder billions of they employees, and you expect them to give you shares?
Hey...why don't we all go get a patent? (Score:1)
Re:you'll never be rich . . . (Score:1)
:) LOL! I think we need a moderation category called "rimshot".
and this means (Score:1)
send flames > /dev/null
The Onion rocks! (Score:1)
I highly recommend a subscription. I love mine!
The Onion (Score:1)
Given that today *is* Wednesday, I'm not sure what the hell your gripe is.
Come on guys... (Score:1)
Re:OML! (Score:1)
jsm
PS: Before its premature termination, that
Hmmmm (Score:1)
Heh (Score:1)
Re:The combined use of Forces of Nature (tm) (Score:1)
Re:Come on guys... (Score:3)
Sheesh, this certainly comes up a lot... maybe there needs to be a slightly more obvious icon. Like perhaps a huge clown face screaming "This is a joke you fucking IDIOTS!!!"
Maybe that would help folks such as Cyberllama here.
States sue startup for product liability (Score:4)
next thing ya know... (Score:1)
------------------------------------------
the amazing bc
latin/funk flugelhorn & trumpet
webnaut, music junkie, sysadmin from hell
I'm rating this one a "Cell" (Score:1)
2.5 billion years without a major product update. At this rate Microsoft may overtake them!
760 trillion employees? Some see productivity, I see developer bloat. Most innovation comes from small, focused teams of fewer than ten entities. Read "The mythical Anabaena-Month" to see what I mean.
Sure, there's no way Microsoft can "cut off their oxygen supply", but one load of FUD in a feeder stream, and we've got a major algae bloom on our hands. How many MBA's out there are trained to deal with that?
Re:What kinda rates you got? (Score:1)
------------------------------------------
the amazing bc
latin/funk flugelhorn & trumpet
webnaut, music junkie, sysadmin from hell
Boycott Oxygen (Score:1)
Unless there's a patent on boycotting products via the internet too. There probably is, at least an application, for that.
Re:Err, maybe some of us *are* getting stupider. (Score:2)
Re:Microsoft Announces MS Breathable Gas (Score:1)
Not too far from the truth (Score:2)
--GnrcMan--
True - something's been missing around here.... (Score:1)
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--
grappler
Re:Not too far from the truth (Score:1)
How about bluegreenalgae.com.
That's a "Cell Tech independent distributor". That's something I forgot to mention. Cell tech is also a MLM scheme.
Dear Independent Cell Tech Distributor:
The legal department at B/G Algae has serious concerns about your use of our registered trademark in your domain name and meta tags. We hereby formally request that you immediately cease and desist operation of said web site and transfer control of the domain name to B/G Algae lest we find it necessary to pursue the matter further.
Yours truly,
Kickem, Innaballs, & Phukumover
Attorneys At Law
======
"Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16
Re:Amazing. (Score:1)
Re:Come on guys... (Score:1)
Some corrections (Score:3)
AP, Nov 17, 1999, 14:00, cst. Blue-Green Algae has announced several corrections to their planed IPO. The orginial announcement states that they will list on NASDAQ as ALG. They will in fact be listing on the New York Stock exchange. Seasoned traders will have already noted that the symbol ALG has three letters, and by aggrement stocks on NYSE have three letters or less, all others have four or more.
A spokeperson for the New York stock exchange has stated "While normally we do not deal with IPOs, ALG controlls a very large and important industry. Their size makes them a nateral fit with our focus on America's and the World's biggest companies. Upstarts at Nasdaq have received all the attention lately, but they are either smaller companies with a questionable future, or long overdue ofr moving over to our Exchange. ALG with it's three billion year history is proof to their staying power.
ALG also noted that they engage in nitrigon fixing, not production. There is a glut in the unfixed nitrigon market, but we control the fixed nitrigon market. Further there is an abundance of entities that need fixed nitrigon and few can supply that need. Also we have a wide spread oxygon production process that we belive cannot be duplicated, even if others understood it. To date nobody has figgured out this process in enough detail to duplicate our distribution.
Although ALG does not have a monopoly on Oxygen production, they point out that compititors in this buisness, which primarly include trees and grass, make up an insignificant amount of oxygon production. Further thier process ties them to relativly dry land while ALG is able to produce in over 70% of the earths surface, and that area is not avaiable to big compititors. ALG also points out that have a presence in most places that trees control.
Independant analysis covering ALGs impending IPO worry if they lay workiers off those workers would produce on their own. "These workers need to eat, and they are too small to have much a reserve." said an analysis for SmithAndJones co. Others have pointed out that DeBeers has a monopoly on diamond distribution, and they have managed to put excess production into vaults to keep prices high without cutting workers. The question remains though if ALG, which traditionally has not followed this model can successfully transistion to it.
How passe... (Score:1)
The real question to be asked here is, "How will this affect the internet".
Do they even have a web page!?
If it does not have a "DOT-COM" on the end, I ain't touchin' it!
Re:and this means (Score:1)
5% is the average. Most of us are up to 15%, but the scientologists are dragging the average down.
Is the domain name still available ? (Score:1)
Did anyone else get that ol' reflex twitch and go straight to netnames.org ?
Boycot AGL! (Score:2)
I propose that we ALL boycot the use of their product until they realize that the error of their ways. We should all just take a deep breath and tell ourselves that we don't NEED them anyway.
I'm sure the justice department would be interested in looking into the monopoly status of ALG in the Oxygen producing industry.
Who asked them to fix our Nitrogen in the first place??
On the other hand, I wouldn't hold my breath for a quick resolution to this issue.
Better be careful (Score:1)
Their slogan borders on copyright infringment. The BASF lawyers are sure to have a field day with that one...
Eric
One point in this patent's favor ... (Score:2)
Even better (Score:1)
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Err, maybe some of us *are* getting stupider. (Score:3)
I really hope you did notice that???
- A.P.
--
"One World, one Web, one Program" - Microsoft promotional ad
Its kinda unethical (Score:1)
Licensing questions? (Score:1)
Beowulf (Score:3)
Someone just has to do the first beowulf post
the AC
You are not infringing (Score:1)
Re:OML! (Score:2)
jsm
PS: Before its premature termination, that
Hmm, the bedwetting thing wasn't as funny to me. And my
Kintanon
Re:Err, maybe some of us *are* getting stupider. (Score:2)
I really hope you did notice that???
All I saw before I had to leave for a few minutes was the headline on the Slashdot writeup. I didn't get to read the onion Article until I came back up. By that time I had already ruminated over what kind of imbecile was petenting algae...
>:)
Kintanon