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Children To Parents: 'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me' ( 80 writes: Sites like Facebook and Instagram are now baked into the world of today's families. Many, if not most, new parents post images of their newborn online within an hour of birth, and some parents create social media accounts for the children themselves -- often to share photos and news with family, although occasionally in the pursuit of "Instafame" for their fashionably clad, beautifully photographed sons and daughters. Now, KJ Dell'Antonia writes in the NYT about the growing disconnect between parents and their children and the one surprising rule children want their parents to know: Don't post anything about me on social media without asking me. "As these children come of age, they're going to be seeing the digital footprint left in their childhood's wake," says Stacey Steinberg. "While most of them will be fine, some might take issue with it." Alexis Hiniker studied 249 parent-child pairs distributed across 40 states and found about three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media. "Twice as many children as parents expressed concerns about family members oversharing personal information about them on Facebook and other social media without permission," says co-author Sarita Schoenebeck. "Many children said they found that content embarrassing and felt frustrated when their parents continued to do it."

When researchers asked kids what technology rules they wished their parents would follow -- a less common line of inquiry -- the answers fell into seven general categories: 1) Be present -- Children felt there should be no technology at all in certain situations, such as when a child is trying to talk to a parent. 2) Child autonomy -- Parents should allow children to make their own decisions about technology use without interference. 3) Moderate use -- Parents should use technology in moderation and in balance with other activities. 4) Supervise children -- Parents should establish and enforce technology-related rules for children's own protection. 5) Not while driving -- Parents should not text while driving or sitting at a traffic light. 6) No hypocrisy -- Parents should practice what they preach, such as staying off the Internet at mealtimes. 7) No oversharing -- Parents shouldn't share information online about their children without explicit permission.

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Children To Parents: 'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me'

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  • So does this mean the children will not be posting things about their family in return? They won't be over-sharing about their classmates or drunk uncle or rant how parent x is doing this that and the other thing?
  • by fustakrakich ( 1673220 ) on Saturday March 12, 2016 @08:57PM (#51686921) Journal

    But don't post them. Use them for blackmail when they don't do their homework or clean their room.

  • by vlad30 ( 44644 ) on Saturday March 12, 2016 @09:06PM (#51686959)
    Kids will have plenty of time to embarrass themselves later on social media let them have a little privacy while they still don't know what privacy is.
    • Breaking news... teenage kids are embarrassed by oblivious parents!

      In other stunning news, people, including many parents, post waaay too much personal crap on Facebook.

      • Facebook is full of people who probably only had kids so they could show them to everyone on Facebook.
      • by KGIII ( 973947 )

        In my case, it goes the opposite way. I don't have Facebook and I ask my kids to not post pictures or anything about me online - in a way that's identifiable. They understand and (I think) are willing to do so. So long as it's not identifiable to random strangers, I don't care. I've been doxxed and quasi-stalked before and the kids experienced that so they're also rather wary. It's not been a problem but it is a discussion that we've had.

      • by sh00z ( 206503 )

        Breaking news... teenage kids are embarrassed by oblivious parents!

        In other stunning news, people, including many parents, post waaay too much personal crap on Facebook.

        It's not just teenage kids. I was in my 40's when my mother discovered Facebook. It took several serious discussions to get her to understand(*) that "her" anecdotes about things that happened when I was a kid violated *my* privacy.

        (*)Actually, I don't actually believe that she technically understands it yet. But she does understand that if she doesn't learn to filter herself, family members are not going to communicate with her.

  • 'Don't Post About Me On Facebook Without Asking Me'

    Won't someone please stop thinking about the children?

  • Parents to children! :P

  • I was waiting for a movie to start when I heard a grandmother tell her elderly girlfriends that she had new pictures of her grandchildren. Next moment I heard multiple cellphones chiming and the ladies started laughing at the photos. That was a surreal moment.
  • If I want to post about you on Facebook, I'm gonna go ahead and post about you on Facebook. I brought you into this world and by god I will take you out again.

    And stop eating all the cereal.

  • 2) Child autonomy and 4) supervise children. I wonder if those two came from the same children, or different ones. I hope that parents are smart enough to be the parents, and choose the right option. Sorry kits, you have to grow up to have autonomy.

    • by mentil ( 1748130 )

      Not necessarily. The key is that the supervisory rules are concrete and laid out beforehand rather than "I don't like this so I'm forbidding it, I know it when I see it." It can't be seen as arbitrary.

    • by spitzig ( 73300 )

      There should be a gradual move from Rule 4 to Rule 2.

  • Maybe they are just embarrassed to have parents who are competitive braggarts, parading their child like some object at 5th grade show and tell.
  • I dunno about other countries, but in AMERICA, we make use of our chattel however we damn well please! I did 'build that' therefore it's mine! /s

  • Seriously every kid finds photos of them older than about 1 year from their current age embarrassing. OMG don't post that I had braces then! OMG don't post that I had long hair and wore pink all the time! OMG don't post that I'm still in the womb!

    If anything the wide distribution of photos may show kids that the world doesn't end and it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

    In Australia showing these photos has been a traditional right of passage. When you're 21 friends and family will attempt to dig out the mo

  • Not a new issue (Score:4, Insightful)

    by dhaen ( 892570 ) on Sunday March 13, 2016 @06:43AM (#51688741)
    Merely an extension of: Don't show my girlfriend/boyfriend those embarrassing photos of me when I was x years old.
  • "three times more children than parents thought there should be rules about what parents shared on social media"

    Yes and three times more children than parents think there should be rules about parents coming to school dances; and about parents talking to said child's friends; and about what parents wear; and about parents dancing or singing.

    Having raised two children myself, I have no doubt in my mind that there are several such topics kids feel more strongly about than the parents. And several such topics

  • It's not just about childish embarrassment. Often times it's legitimately unsafe behavior. Kids these days are steeped in the internet, but also being taught from a very early age about safe practices, and those are lessons that many of their parent's are simply not exposed to until they see some horror story on Dateline. I recently had to inform a friend that it wasn't a good idea to post a full scan of her son's new Drivers License on Facebook, no matter how proud she was of his milestone accomplishmen

To write good code is a worthy challenge, and a source of civilized delight. -- stolen and paraphrased from William Safire