Bill Gates' Management Style 362
replicant108 wrote in to give us Tom Evslin's fascinating account of working for Microsoft in the early 90s. "So you're in there presenting your product plan to billg, steveb, and mikemap. Billg typically has his eyes closed and he's rocking back and forth. He could be asleep; he could be thinking about something else; he could be listening intently to everything you're saying. The trouble is all are possible and you don't know which. Obviously, you have to present as if he were listening intently even though you know he isn't looking at the PowerPoint slides you spent so much time on.
At some point in your presentation billg will say "that's the dumbest fucking idea I've heard since I've been at Microsoft." He looks like he means it. However, since you knew he was going to say this, you can't really let it faze you. Moreover, you can't afford to look fazed; remember: he's a bully."
And that idea was... (Score:5, Funny)
"that's the dumbest fucking idea..." (Score:5, Funny)
But why greenlight them, bill?
I know I wouldn't last long (Score:5, Funny)
"that's the dumbest fucking idea I've heard since I've been at Microsoft."
And 'Clippy' was a great idea?
Dumbest F*ing Thing huh? (Score:1, Funny)
If you think he is a bully during presentations... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:That Borg Icon (Score:2, Funny)
Creepy... (Score:4, Funny)
I've heard rumors that that the same line can be heard at my corporation, in addition to fist-on-desk pounding, and finger pointing. No chair-throwing though, yet.
So he's copying from Steve Jobs too? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I know I wouldn't last long (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I know I wouldn't last long (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Obviously (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"that's the dumbest fucking idea..." (Score:5, Funny)
1. invent 'clippy'
2. "That's the dumbest fucking idea..."
3. ???
4. clippy get's accepted
That poor guy must have gone through some hell in #3 there.
Re:That Borg Icon (Score:5, Funny)
"And Bill Gates isn't even the CEO of Microsoft anymore. He is the chairman."
I thought steve ("I'll fucking bury them") is the "chair-man" ...
Almost Right. I fixed it for you (Score:4, Funny)
Re:And that idea was... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:That Borg Icon (Score:2, Funny)
Actually, I think it's Balmer who is the chair-man.
Re:"that's the dumbest fucking idea..." (Score:5, Funny)
via the MS Bob project anyway...
puts number 3 in a different light.
Re:It's all about presentation. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:This explains a lot (Score:4, Funny)
So I guess Mr. Gates isn't responsible for everything wrong at Microsoft ... it's the people who didn't listen to his good judgment. ;-)
That's the dumbest fucking thing I've seen since I've been at Slashdot.
Oh wait, that's a joke. Never mind, but I'm still not responsible for anything but your success.
The Story of Bob (Score:5, Funny)
billg: That's the dumbest-
melindaf: You want some tonight or not?
billg:
melindaf: How about we call it Bob.
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:5, Funny)
Like I was telling my daughter yesterday, the appropriate thing to do when you meet such a person is to drill them in the nose with your knuckles as hard as you can, unless they outweigh you by a significant margin, in which case you should hit them with a chair until they crumple to the ground.
This is how you deal with bullies.
You certainly don't turn yourself one after another into his bitch and make him rich as reward for his antisocial behavior.
I bet Bill wears an "Everything I needed to take over the world, I learned from the bully in kindergarten" T-shirt to bed as a nightie.
Re:"that's the dumbest fucking idea..." (Score:5, Funny)
another conversation (Score:5, Funny)
presenter: "this is madness!"
billg: "THIS IS MICROSOFT!!!" *looks at steveb and points to a chair*
Re:It's all about presentation. (Score:1, Funny)
No, I'm not!
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:5, Funny)
"And the soldier had just told him that torture was against Western values to his face. Doh!
Re:That Borg Icon (Score:5, Funny)
The Actual Correct Response (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:5, Funny)
Forget it. The chair would get to within a foot of Bill's nose before being parried by Darth Balmer's lighting counterstrike. Bill would then begin a wide gaped laughing as their pair of you batter each other back and forth across the meeting room to a backdrop of animated powerpoint slides and starfield screensavers.
Two important facts stand against you
1) Balmer is not related to you
2) There are no impossibly deep shafts nearby.
Even if your friends managed to get the firewalls down, how are they going to get all the way into the heart of Redmond campus to save your fallen ass? You gave into your anger. Such is the reward of the dark side.
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:2, Funny)
So this is where Ballmer gets his management style.
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:3, Funny)
Keeping your job after it is just icing on the cake!
- RG>
Re:I know I wouldn't last long (Score:5, Funny)
Re:"that's the dumbest fucking idea..." (Score:4, Funny)
Future wife: "And then this dancing paper-clip asks you if you are trying to write a letter."
(Gates is rocking with his eyes closed)
Gates: "That's the dumbest fucking idea I've ever heard."
Future wife starts crying.
Gates opens eyes and sees her tight crotch and big tits:
Gates: "On second thought, it wouldn't hurt to try it out."
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:5, Funny)
I'm not so sure about #1. He did suggest using a chair as a weapon...
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:3, Funny)
1) Balmer is not related to you
Steve Ballmer is my father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate, you insensitive clod!
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Stop cowering before managment... (Score:5, Funny)
Don't just quietly leave, explain clearly why you are leaving. You like the job and the pay is fine, but there is too much internal bullshit to make the job worthwhile. When Billg says "That's the dumbest idea I've heard ..." respond by saying "You are wrong, it is an excellent idea. Your criticism is niether constructive, nor professional. I will be taking my ideas elsewhere." Then immediately leave the room, perhaps the building. So before you present your idea to Billg you should look for a new job.
That's the dumbest fucking idea I've heard since I've been on Slashdot.
Re:Champoined Needed - Sounds Good To Me (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, that's pretty much what I told her. Also what I believe, and how I live, and how I succeed in the world.
Bloody hell, be careful. Swinging irony like that around could take someone's eye out.
Re:Untouchable crap (Score:2, Funny)