Novell Gets $348 Million From Microsoft 308
An anonymous reader writes, "Novell has published additional details about its agreements with Microsoft concerning Windows and Linux interoperability and patents. It seems the company is receiving an up-front payment of $348 million from Microsoft, for SLES subscription certificates and for patent cross-licensing. Microsoft will make an upfront payment to Novell of $240 million for SLES subscription 'certificates' that Microsoft can use, resell, or distribute over the term of the agreement. Regarding the patent cooperation agreement, Microsoft will make an up-front net payment to Novell of $108 million, and Novell will make ongoing payments totaling at least $40 million over five years to Microsoft."
OK, NOW you can use the 'itsatrap' tag (Score:5, Funny)
Soul for sale (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Vader: How much is your soul?
Novell Spaceballs Skywalker: $380 million and change, and we'll throw in SuSE.
Microsoft Vader: You fool! We would have paid you 10x as much.
The modern value of 30 silver coins... (Score:5, Funny)
Fishy.. (Score:5, Funny)
And its not the corporate sushi bar, or koi pond.
Or that nasty intern on the fourth floor.
Bill + Steve ( extended version ) (Score:5, Funny)
Steve: "I've got an idea. Let's buy another version of Linux."
Bill: "Are you crazy? The SCO gambit didn't fool anybody."
Steve: "No, not like that. Instead of trying to fool a judge, we'll try to fool our customers."
Bill: "So? That's already company policy."
Steve: "Yes, but we'll release our own version. We tell the public that we're joining the Linux bandwagon, and with our marketing clout, it will soon become the dominant version on the market. Then when the public is convinced that MS-Linux IS Linux, we make gradual changes to turn it into an unusable bloated wreck. Linux will be finished!"
Bill: "No way! Remember, Steve, I used to write software. No self-respecting programmer would deliberately wreck an OS. Where are we going to get a bunch of programmers to do that?"
Steve: "We have all the guys who wrote Vista. I think they could do it."
( Steve exits )
( 10 minutes later, Steve returns, slamming the door quickly behind him. He looks like he has seen a ghost )
Bill: "So, how did it go?
Steve: ( shaking his head ) "Bad, bad, bad, bad, b-"
Bill: Get a grip! What happened?
Steve: "They won't do it...I mean they'll do it, but they want to do it well! They won't wreck it."
Bill: "You explained the plan to them?"
Steve: "Yes, very clearly. Twice. But they just started chanting. One word, over and over and over and over and over and ov-
( Bill picks up a chair, bashes Steve over the head with it. )
Steve: "Wh..? Uh..thanks...I needed that."
( Bill puts down the chair, walks to the door )
Steve: "Nooo! Please don't op-"
( Bill opens the door. From down the hall a chorus of voices can be heard. )
Voices: "-ux! Linux! Linux! Linux! Linux! Linux! Lin-"
( Bill slams the door )
Bill: "That's bad."
Steve: "It's worse. They now refuse to work on Vista any more!"
Bill: "That's ok. We aren't going to support it for very long anyway."
Steve: "So what are we going to do?"
Bill: "I think I can still make the plan work. Listen: we'll let them produce a good version of Linux. We'll make it very good for servers."
Steve: "Suse? You mean we'll take over Novell?"
Bill: "Yes. That gives us a big step up to dominate the Linux market like you suggested. But instead of trying to convice the world that Linux is junk, we'll tell them that Linux is only for servers."
Steve: "But it will migrate to the desktop! We have to kill it!"
Bill: "No, we'll let the guys downstairs make it the way they want it. Keep it for nerds. Each update will be more and more technical. Let them gradually turn it into something that only a Linux pro can use."
Steve: "We're gonna pay them to write Gentoo?"
Well... (Score:5, Funny)
Listen to me (Score:3, Funny)
Please keep this in mind, and "Welcome to the world of tomorrow".
Re:Listen to me (Score:1, Funny)
Please keep this in mind, and "Welcome to the world of tomorrow".
Re:OK, NOW you can use the 'itsatrap' tag (Score:5, Funny)
Slashdot finds humor in repetition. For example: I, for one, welcome our $SUBJECT overlords. All your base are belong to us. Imagine a beowulf cluster of $SUBJECT. In Soviet Russia, $SUBJECT $VERB you! No carrier. BSOD. Etc.
I wouldn't mind, but the same group that always shouts "Hollywood keeps rehashing crap!" just can't let these jokes die.
Welcome to the collective (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, Slashdot is really just one big giant AI system. All the so-called "users", including this one, are really just dummy accounts for the AI. You're the only human here.
Sincerely,
The Slashdot Overmind
Golden opportunity missed. (Score:2, Funny)
You should have ended that with "NO CARRIER".