Radioactive Snails Crawl Up From Beneath 397
slidersv writes "Reuters is reporting discovery of radioactive snails in the area where three hydrogen bombs were lost by US in the 1966. The radioactive creatures crawl up from underground, where authorities suspect deposits of uranium and plutonium may be located."
Oh no (Score:2, Funny)
*Must* *resist*.... (Score:2, Funny)
The French.... (Score:5, Funny)
Lame and overused joke extravaganza (Score:3, Funny)
Clearly, they are in cahoots with the giant bug that was found on Google Maps, not too long ago.
Also, I understand they are radioactive...
But do they run Linux?
On a more serious note, I find this fascinating - radioactivity is one of the least understood and possibly most useful sciences in the world.
-Red
Re:Holy fucking shit (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe it was packed into the same box as the moon landing videos.
Just one little word of advice (Score:5, Funny)
If you're in Tokyo right now...
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!
I for one (Score:5, Funny)
In, oh, just over twenty years, which is the time it'll take for the snails to crawl from Spain to menace Tokyo (which, as we all know, is the ultimate goal of everything radioactive, oversize or alien in this world).
Re:Radio-Cochlear Overlords (Score:5, Funny)
As George Carlin once said: "It's not the planet that needs saving, it's us!"
My Favorite TV Show (Score:3, Funny)
Snail Jokes (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I for one (Score:5, Funny)
Re:*Must* *resist*.... (Score:5, Funny)
Shouldn't this now be 'our radioactive underlords'
Re:Snail Jokes (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Why were they flying nuclear bombs around in 19 (Score:4, Funny)
Re:The French.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Oh no (Score:5, Funny)
Snails on a Plane?
Who lost them? (Score:2, Funny)
"I feel like I could... like I could..." (Score:2, Funny)
Re: Holy fucking shit (Score:3, Funny)
Wonder what Freud would have said about that jargon...
Re:Just one little word of advice (Score:3, Funny)
I, for one... (Score:4, Funny)
I, for one, didn't expect that.
I'm sitting here on the outskirts of Tokyo... (Score:4, Funny)
And now I have to worry about not just nuclear excitement to the northwest, but also radioactive snails??
Well, I guess I can at least give a play-by-play when they---holy shit WHAT'S THAT?! NO NO NOT WITH THE TAIL NOOOOOOOO
NO CARRIER
Re:Oh no (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Kosher food (Score:5, Funny)
Indeed. I imagine the radioactive exhaust of the flying saucer that parted the Red Sea contaminated some of the food supply for at least the next 40 years. Coincidence?
no, no, no... (Score:5, Funny)
Much better.
Re:I, for one... (Score:2, Funny)
(It just had to be said.)
Ah the snail... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Radio-Cochlear Overlords (Score:5, Funny)
Cue very slow W 0 0 T.
Re:Holy --deleted-- (Score:5, Funny)
Such simple times when you could have a crash, lose 3 nukes then shrug and say 'ah well, never mind'.
These days every ounce of anything remotely useful for bomb making needs to be accounted for just in case some nasty terrorist gets their hands on it. What went wrong? I want the good old days back when you could casually leave weapons of mass destruction lying around near fishing villages ('if they trawl one up they'll probably just throw it back, right?) and not worry about it.
Re:Holy fucking shit (Score:4, Funny)
1) The French eat snails.
2) The French eat anything with garlic on it.
3) You takes your basic radioactive snails and then you puts your garlic on them nice and even like. Then you can em and sell em in France
4) Profit!!!
And it's only Frenchmen, so who cares what this does to their DNA. Maybe you'll get a glow-in-the-dark superpowered French mime. And he can fly, if he falls off the Eiffel Tower.
Re:Radio-Cochlear Overlords (Score:2, Funny)
The animals that survived clearly did so because they were more intelligently designed.
(Apologies to the person who made this comment last time around)
No wonder it's snails (Score:3, Funny)
Cognitive dissonance (Score:3, Funny)
the safety systems of the bombs
Whuh? Does that mean someone can hand over a bomb to his adversary (under duress, perhaps), but neglect to tell him the safety's on? The first guy then pulls his reserve bomb out of his ankle holster and *blam* blows away the bad guy!
Re:Radio-Cochlear Overlords (Score:4, Funny)
They have their own theme song! (Score:2, Funny)
We're Immature Radioactive Samurai Slugs
We love to thrash criminals and slice 'n' dice thugs!
We're totally radical, gnarly dudes,
Cowabunga homeboys with nothin' to lose
Our arch-enemies want us iodized
But they can't beat us 'cause we're merchandised!
(Iodizer: "DESTROY THEM!!")
Count off!
Picasso!
Warhol!
Rockwell!
Grandma Moses!
So kick back, dweebs, it's the end of our rhyme,
The show's gonna start and it's time to slime!
Beetle-mania (Score:5, Funny)
Nah, we just tell ourselves that to cover for the undeniable fact that we were scraped together at the end of the Creation project. And at that, using leftovers after the main project deliverable: implementing every imaginable variation on the the concept of "beetle".
And if that weren't enough to kick us in the anthropocentric nutes, it's clear we aren't even in the same league as termites, as measured by biomass or biodiversity. This caused some severe editing of the Creation story, particularly Genesis 1:25 - 1:31, which originally went something like this:
25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
26 And God said, We have checked our deliverables and Creation is complete; so let there be Slack; and God saw the Slack, that it was good, and God separated the productive phase of the Project from the mindless consumption of excess Resources.
27 And the Slack was fruitful of all manner of Diversions of surplus Resources; so God said, Let Us celebrate; and the Celebration begat the Kegger, and the Kegger begat Beer, and Beer begat all manner of amusing indiscretions. And God saw that these where more or less Harmless.
28 Then God noticed that the Project had this left-over mud, and this He fashioned into a Man; but there was not enough fuel left over to fire the clay, so when Man was half-baked, He breathed upon Man and brought him to life.
29 Then Man opened his eyes, and looking on God asked, are You Me? And God said no. Then looking around, Man asked, Is all this for Me? And God said, No, you are only the half-baked leftovers, but if you study Creation perhaps you can become full-baked. And Man thought that this was Bad, and set out to Improve on Matters.
30 So Man said,let there be Self-Serving Sophistry, and let there be Willful Ignorance; and these were fruitful beyond all Measure, and so begat Religion, Conformism, Bigotry and every manner of Officious Narrow-Mindedness. And Man thought these were Good, and he wrote his version of Events down so that none would ever challenge Conformity without Fear.
31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good, except for the bits that came after the Beer which in retrospect looked somewhat Doubtful. And God, seeing that Slack had used up the Resources He needed to Fix the Problem, said, Let there be Muddling Through; Let there be Counting On Things Working Out in the End. And seeing that these were not Satisfactory and He was over budget anyway, God said, Let there be Hope. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
Re: Holy fucking shit (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Kosher food (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Holy fucking shit (Score:1, Funny)
Edmund: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war.
Baldrick: But this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir?
Edmund: Yes, that's right. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.
George: What was that, sir?
Edmund: It was bollocks.
Re:Kosher food (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Radio-Cochlear Overlords (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I for one (Score:3, Funny)
Re:*Must* *resist*.... (Score:3, Funny)