Ladies and Gentlemen, the Electronic Toilet 405
BlueCup writes "The bathroom has been one of the few places people frequent where digital technology hasn't taken over. Most people use toilets more often than iPods, yet the humble American commode has remained as low tech as things get, essentially a combination of pipes, levers and flaps.
Computers are now invading the bathroom. For several years, manufacturers have been quietly pushing toilets and toilet seats costing $1,000 or more that use small, built-in computers and remote controls to add new features that warm, wash and dry you. As bathrooms become more upscale and luxurious, a digital toilet fits right in."
Asinine (Score:5, Insightful)
Seriously though, there are some things whose design has absolutely been optimized to a point where it would take a revolution in technology to make any changes worth while. Think about things like the doorknob, or a book, or a toilet seat, which arguably has been around since Roman times. Now you might say that technology has allowed an evolution of sorts in each of these examples, and that is true (mass production for the doorknob, printing presses, computer fonts and the Macintosh for books, and polymers for toilet seats), but each of these items works fundamentally the same as they have for hundreds of years such that a person from a hundred years ago could still recognize and interface with the device.
Putting a computer on/in a toilet seat is...... *dare I say it?*....... asinine.
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...which is on its way out in the USA, due to the Americans with Disabilities Act
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Of course, I also believe that California shouldn't have SPANISH on the ballots but whatever.......
Re:Asinine (Score:4, Informative)
Yep. If you haven't noticed, doorknobs are more and more being replaced by doors that push open, open automatically, or, nominally, by door handles that do not require grasping in order to turn them.
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) makes it very clear that you have to make accommodations for anyone with any sort of disability to get around. This includes replacing or augmenting doorknobs with other ways of opening doors because some people with severe arthritis, Parkinson's, mental handicaps, spinal cord injuries and some other disorders simply cannot turn a doorknob.
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Disabilities? Try turning a doorknob when your hands are full, for example, when carrying a box. Trust me, I moved three times so far this year. It's a pain in the ass. Door handles make this much easier. Just push down to turn, then walk forward. Works great. Also, handles are better than knobs if you're drunk.
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http://www.daughtersoftiresias.org/Japan%20Trip/ [daughtersoftiresias.org].. . hmm, looks like the URL is down. Well, lets grab one that looks the same from images.google.com.
http://www.crappersquarterly.com/images/japan/Japa neseToilet.jpg [crappersquarterly.com]
You see "warmlets" even in the most middle-of-nowhere places. Part of the reason why toilet tech is so advanced over ther
Interface improvements (Score:2, Interesting)
Think like a programmer! You can always improve the interface [greatjohn.com] to be more user friendly.
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Holy crap! (Pardon the pun). A few modifications and this thing [yimg.com] could be your workstation chair. Really kick those coding marathons into high-gear!
"Buy 50 cases of Bawls and get a GreatJohn office chair for half off!" Coming soon to ThinkGeek.
Re:Asinine (Score:5, Funny)
No shit.
Sorry.
Re:Asinine (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Asinine (Score:4, Funny)
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Splashdot...news for turds, stuff that splatters?
Listen up, people (Score:5, Funny)
This bidet garbage was invented when contaminated water gave everyone a daily dose of the runs. You should not need it today. If you do, you are unhealthy.
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Re:Listen up, people (Score:5, Funny)
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Re:Listen up, people (Score:5, Interesting)
I don't have a bad case. But there are some horror stories out there: people who have to go 10-20 times a day, people who end up needing permanent ileostomies (a surgical bypass of the end of the intestines), etc.
Even with my relatively mild case, I have to take three Sitz Baths [nih.gov] a day, two showers a day, and cleaning up after I go is not fun on top of that.
This toilet seat? Sounds like it would be fantastic for me and others like me. It could probably save me 20 minutes a day, at least. If my health insurance covered it, or I could afford the thing, I'd buy one tomorrow. Seriously.
And one in 350 people in America have this problem along with me. And the numbers are rising. (The disease was unheard of pre-20th Century -- not from lack of diagnostic methods, from lack of existing. There's a growth curve that is followed in developing countries; a Crohn's specialist I spoke to said that there are varioius studies underway to figure out what parts of our diet changed enough to create such an outbreak -- he hinted at processed sugar being a leading candidate. Unfortunately I lack a citation here, but the head of the Crohn's & Colitis center at Mass General seems like a pretty good source to me.)
I can see these things selling very, very well if they can bring the price point down just a tad, or convince health insurance to cover it for people in scenarios like mine (even partially).
So, yeah, I'm unhealthy -- but it's not my fault, and one of these things could make quite a difference.
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I don't wish to be mean, but if this is caused by a lousy diet, surely it is.
I guess he could stop eating. I am faced with that choice frequently. It hurts to eat. It is similar to food allergies...you have no clue what is in what you are eating. Playing russian roulette isn't always fun. I usually eat a ton when I know I am in a safe place to suffer....such as at home...thus when I am out people always get mad because I didn't eat very much. Well, you wo
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One of the blurbs from this was about when bidets (and since it was Wired they're probably hoping we'll assume this means computerized auto-bidets such as seen in various Japanese models) has
Re:Listen up, people (Score:4, Insightful)
So, since I'm not even going to see your butt, let alone touch it, as long as I can't smell it, I don't care if you wash it.
Re:Listen up, people (Score:4, Funny)
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Re:Listen up, people (Score:4, Insightful)
When they were first introduced I think in the mid 1970's, the first commercial showed a pretty girl squirting a big blob of blue paint across her hand and then trying to wipe it clean with tissue. For maximum shock value, they ran the commercials at dinner time and though there were plenty of complaints from viewers, the mental image stuck and sales took off. There was a really good program here in Japan called "Project X" on NHK that told the whole story of the development and engineering of the things, including how the engineers had to find "shameless" women willing to be measured for adjusting the spray and such...
Another time, I saw an interview with "Kin-san" and "Gin-san" a pair of 100-plus-year-old twin sisters--they asked them what they thought was the most amazing technological advancement made during their lifetimes and they answered "heated toilet seats."
The thing is, these things are a lot cleaner. As far as bathroom hygiene goes, the more clean people are decreases the chances of things like Escherichia coli infections, Cryptosporidium infections, Giardiasis, Shigellosis and Viral gastroenteritis. Not just you, but also the people who prepare your food, take care of you in the hospital, care for your children, anywhere there is human contact. Ever get a "24 hour stomach virus" or food poisoning? It's likely because someone who handled something that you ate didn't wash their hands after going "number two." In other words, you got sick because you ate their poo.
So, where you can't imagine that anyone but an unhealthy, lazy slob might want one of these, perhaps it's just a matter of different priorities?
Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)
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Have you ever even seen an outhouse?
Speaking of outhouses: I have two words for you black widows.
Re:Asinine (Score:4, Funny)
I'll see your black widows and raise you a redback
Snakes and crocodiles aren't really that much of a problem in Australia; the spiders pretty much keep them in line.
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Pfft. Redback. I got bitten by one of when I was four and all that came of it was a few days off kindergarten and a whole backet of jellybeans... After I was rushed to hospital and delivered anti-venom.
Lousy parents didn't take me to the hospital till the next freaking morning. Stupid irresponsible father.
Re:Asinine (Score:5, Funny)
wouldn't that be the KKK?
Re:Asinine (Score:5, Informative)
It was written in 1939, but set in the 1920's.
The Joad kids lived on a farm all their life and have never seen a 'real' toilet and when they flush one, they actually thought they broke it. Steinbeck wasn't dramatizing anything, people in the 1920's (and even today) have never seen a flush toilet or any of the other marvels of technology that we take for granted.
That said, I'd pay extra for a heated toilet seat, even without the retractable bidet and ass blow dryer. IMHO, that is more than an incremental improvement.
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I have seen "self flushing" toilets that were nicely designed by getting a little water to run through a little U shaped trench under them. Inside the house. In a 11th century (roughly, if I remember correctly) Icelandic house of Viking (long house) design. There were no traces found of seats though, so it wasn't clear whether there actually were any.
In Medieval castles one had to "flush" by hand but the eva
"Mixer taps" (Score:2)
Re:Asinine (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps more to the point, a toilet is the classic example of something that is mission critical. Sometimes safety critical, I'd suppose. It has to work under all sorts of conditions (e.g. power outage/flat battery) where it's not a huge deal if other devices like the iPod don't work.
The simplicity of a toilet is one of its strengths. Less can go wrong because there's less to go wrong.
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Re:Asinine (Score:4, Informative)
UK toilets use a siphon-operated system instead. Push the lever down, it sucks water round the top of the siphon, and the cistern empties using that siphon effect. The great thing with that is that it simply *can't* leak (unless you manage to get a hole in the pipe, which is majorly unlikely).
Grab.
Crappy The Toilet Brush (Score:4, Funny)
John Q. Toiletuser: Just lift the damn lid, I'm busting!
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Would you like to a) Urinate or b) Defecate?
John: Oh Jesus! Err..."Defecate"
Crappy: Please answer "a" or "b". Would you like to a) Urinate or b) Defecate?
John: For fuck's sake! "B" *winces in pain from the stomach cramps* OW! HURRY!
Crappy: You chose to defecate. Thank you. Would you like me to pre-warm the seat? Yes/No?
John: I DON'T CARE! JUST LET ME SIT DOWN!
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "yes" or "no".
John: NO!
Crappy: You selected "no". The seat will not be pre-warmed. Will you require a) Durable toilet paper, or b) Extra soft toilet paper.
John: ARRGH! I don't care! It's on the move! Umm...err..."b"
Crappy: ERROR #E4F0: EXTRA SOFT PAPER NOT FOUND
John: "DURABLE" THEN!
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "a" or "b".
John:
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "a" or "b".
John: Forget it. It's too late. "CANCEL". I'll have try my luck with the shower and the washing machine.
Crappy: I'm sorry, I didn't understand your response. Please answer "a" or "b".
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I don't have the cash for it now, but if I did I would definitely look into this sort of device.
How much is it worth to you never to have to use the plunger again?
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like the 3 seashell thing?
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- Bidet with adjustable pressure, temperature, etc
- Noise maker which plays background noise so people cannot hear you making bodily noise (not so important but if you have shy relatives over and have a small house it can be beneficial)
- Automatic seat heater (al
Moo (Score:5, Funny)
The bathroom experience?
I'd rather see Larson's idea of a big light over public bathroom doors: "Didn't wash hands!"
Re:Moo (Score:5, Interesting)
-a moistened TP dispencer (for when the 'roids start acting up) w/ antiseptic
-armrests and an executive leather ergonomic backrest
-a webcam with a UV spotlight to examine for traces of fecal matter (battle the 'klingons')
-a penile/scrotal 'cupholder' (hate when 'it' touches the cold porcelain)
-a control to adjust seat angle and elevation
-negative-pressure air exhaust for the toiletbowl (why do I have to smell it?)
-surround sound and dimmer lights (pooping in the dark could be a wild adventure (This Disney's Pirate Cave boatride!))
-neon pool lighting (aesthetically pleasing fishbowl; combine with dimmer lights et webcam)
-a timer/bestOf scoreboard!
-a shotgun rack and a Peltier beer cooler (hate the compressor fridge noise).
-stall doors that freaking go all the way to the floor!
Re:Moo (Score:5, Interesting)
- armrests? aren't you supposed to hold part of your body, at least if you're male, to make sure you're not just going to flop all over the place with that thing? And what when you want to wipe your ass? Just for kicks, try making that motion while seater in your chair with armrests. And a leather backrest? Would that be built into the toilet lid? If so - how do you handle flushing with the lid closed? ( presuming you flush with the lid closed - unless you love the spray of course )
- klingons / dingleberries? if you miss one of those, you probably didn't wipe well enough - do you really need a webcam to see where you need to wipe some more? Scary. You're never going to get it 100% clean.. if you could, you wouldn't have a particular need change underwear every day. Fact is, you're going to leak more pee than you'll have to worry about with poo.
- penile/scrotal cupholder just sounds like an STD-spreading device. The solution to not having your penis or scrotum hit the porcelain is to get a decent bowl - sounds like the one you've dealt with/are dealing with is far too shallow. Either that or you're just very, very well-endowed; congratulations
- seat angle and elevation.. now this one I can get into, but mostly due to the fact that the elderly can't sit all the way down on typical toilet seats easily - so you can get taller ones for them. While at the same time, what parent hasn't had to hoist their kid up onto the toilet? Now if you could make it alter elevation, that would indeed be cool. It'd also be a bit more difficult to manage with regards to flushing-as-we-know-it, though
- you don't have to smell the toilet, typically.. unless you live in Europe and still have an older style bowl where your faecal matter just rests in a small puddle before getting flushed ('observation deck' bowls), you'll have one where all that stuff goes into a deep body of water where no odor can escape. Presumably you'd also have some manner of perfumed flush block thingy in there to keep whatever diluted smell of urine covered.
the remainder of the list is just getting silly.. why no HD TV? fold-out laptop with broadband internet? make the seat double as a massage chair and shoepolish station! Let's leave it at it being a restroom, please
That said, there have been advances even in recent decades as far as the toilet seat goes. e.g. from the 'observation deck' style to the deep bowl style, and from a regular gravity-does-it-all flush to a gravity+jet-flush, from one-flush-fits-all to the water conserving dual-flush-capacity tanks, etc. Maybe they're nowhere near as cool as an elevation-controllable toilet, but they're worthy progressions nevertheless.
Re:Moo (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Moo (Score:4, Funny)
- you don't have to smell the toilet, typically.. unless you live in Europe and still have an older style bowl where your faecal matter just rests in a small puddle before getting flushed ('observation deck' bowls), you'll have one where all that stuff goes into a deep body of water where no odor can escape.
Clearly, you've never eaten beans.
Go ahead (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Go ahead (Score:5, Funny)
All that then is left is a nation wide Wash-Your-Hands-Campagne.
WTF? (Score:5, Funny)
I can't remember the last time my iPod used the toilet...
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A friend of mine peed on his iPod.. but I don't think that's enough to contradict the statement.
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A: Both are used for downloading crap!
Power outages (Score:5, Insightful)
Please folks, make sure the technology makes you better off than before.
Re:Power outages (Score:5, Funny)
And when lights came on, you realized that it wasn't the toiletseat you were sitting on...
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The obvious solution for a power outage is to purchase a dedicated backup power generator. If you lose power, the Toilet will switch to "battery."
See? Problem solved.
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Re:Power outages (Score:4, Insightful)
If you're serious, well, that's going to far. All I want is for there to be some decoupling from the electrical aspect. For example, in the storm, I could still open my garage because it has a backup cord with which I can manually lift it open. Likewise, for the toilet, the plumbing could be run as now, with just the unnecessary electrical parts separate. But I just get the funny feeling that some moron is going to design it so that you literally *can't flush* merely because you lost power.
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Re:Power outages (Score:4)
Please, someone come up with another use for quixoticity? I REALLY want this one in general use.
Of course, I could be tilting at windmills here...
Electric flushes (Score:2)
Being the owner of a fancy Japanese toilet in a fancy new Japanese flat, much to my dismay I have discovered that the loo doesn't actually flush in the event of a power cut! There's a remote-control flush with a back-up handle, but if you turn the power off (as my wife did shortly after we moved in, forgetting to inform me that she had or even where the ON switch was) the flush handle no longer does anything for some reason th
Re:Power outages (Score:4, Informative)
I'm quite sure you can use the toilet if the power is off. It just won't be warm and wash your butt for you. I'm pretty sure as well that most people who own one will still keep toilet paper or tissues in the bathroom.
Given that these things are everywhere in Japan (and bidets have been around in europe for half a century at least), I don't see what the big deal is. Some people like to be squeaky clean, and have some cash to spare. I can think of lots of more frivolous ways to spend a few hundred bucks.
Japan? (Score:5, Informative)
washlets are better (Score:2, Informative)
Yes, here in Japan the 'washlet' is very popular. You'll find it in most department stores, restaurants, and houses. However, in train stations and public spaces, you'll find the opposite end of the spectrum: washiki - the squatter. It's arguably the cleanest since you don't actually touch anything (no seat, no bum sweat residue, no stray hair, ...). The first go is a challenge though: a delicate balance between, well, balance and positioning.
I prefer the 'dirty' washlets.
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High-tech toilets aren't always very fun.
I had the questionable honor of getting to experience a 40C degree fever and a very liquid and fiery diarrhea, while being in Hiroshima. So, after a day of being half dead, I decided to go to the hospital. While I was waiting to get in to the doctor's office, I decided to go to the toilet.
It was one of those high-tech toilets. The seat was awfully warm, but it was all good since I was freezing my ass off because of the fever, anyway. So, I took my dump, or w
Broadband. (Score:5, Funny)
Additional note. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Broadband. Save the Toilets! (Score:4, Funny)
Basically, the waterco's want to charge us depending on the types of poo we upload.
Larger poo clogs the infrastructure. Where will these companies acquire the funding to upgrade it? They have no choice but to charge the source of the "content." People like you and me.
Time to buy more apple cider. Save the Toilets!
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Oh Shit! (Score:2, Funny)
This isn't new (Score:5, Funny)
Nevermind, nothing to see here.
Korean Toilets (Score:5, Funny)
Anyone here ever use one of those toilets with the built in ass washer? I visited Seoul a few years back and stayed with in-laws. Their toilet had a little control panel with various symbols on it for male, female, water, wind (no earth or fire, thankfully). I feared it for most of my visit, and never tried it out. Eventually though curiousity got the better of me and i pressed a button after I was done (male water). It made few little mechanical sounds and then a tiny sprayer started shooting warm water into my ass crack. It was so ticklish that I just about jumped off the seat; fumbling around with the controls to get it to stop. Eventually I succeeded, but man that was weird. Despite any potential improvement in hygene, I can't handle the ass tickling fountain thing. But hey, I say try it out sometime if you have the chance.
Cheers.
MOD PARENT TMI! (Score:2, Funny)
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When I was much younger, I found the idea of water squirting at my ass weird and as a consequence, ended up using the plunger quite frequently.
Eventually, I grew up and got over my fear-of-things-that-are-different and had no more trouble while traveling overseas. Once you get used to it, it's no big deal & is a bit more hygenic than wiping your ass with paper.
Hopefully that wasn't t
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Re:Korean Toilets (Score:5, Funny)
*Automatic Tampon Remover.
Windows PEE (Score:2)
Just look out for the Bad Smell of Dookie when this shit hits the "C-P-U" fan (literally).
Anyone want to work on a Toilet Linux? Toilux?
New meaning to accident in the toilet (Score:3, Funny)
Geek 2: My computer froze then fried my penis.
Geek 1: Oh well at least it wasn't anything vital
Geek 2: Normally yeah, but I'd just signed up for 2 years of penthouse.com
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reminds me of a joke....
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility. But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant's ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.
There next to the paper roll were four buttons marked: WW WA PP ATR. Making the mistake soooo many geeks make out of curiosity, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him. He carefully pre
Are they reaaly big in Japan? (Score:2)
Vapooh-rize it... (Score:4, Interesting)
Where's my smart house that is smart about everyday things... forget the 'avatar' that tells me stock prices or whatever, just make it a more efficient house please.
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You're obviously not a victim of California and their refusing to pay for the electricity they didn't pay for after they unanimously voted that they would pay for electric at any price. Electric's spendy near but not in California thanks to that fuckup. Would be nice if when California screws up, only Californians are screwed, instead of everybody in a 1000 mile radius of California that isn't in Ca
Moo (Score:3, Funny)
I means, it's used in the stall, man.
Better that you nix the rest of this post. before it gets really bad.
Bad idea all around (Score:2)
No, no it doesn't.
Cost (Score:2)
Well (Score:2)
Osho
The Toilet... (Score:4, Insightful)
So I'm confused about this article. On the one hand, I'm pretty sure nobody's made any noticable improvements to bathroom equipment (toilet paper, plungers, sink, soap, etc) for however many years because maybe, dare I say it, it's one of a select few pieces of technology that we have that's done, perfect, finito in a design sense. It's reached a critical point of punctuated equilibrium in its development. All change after this point is slow and arbitrary.
This may of course be shortsighted, but I think this is a good thing. I for one don't like to think about releasing the hostages(although, like anyone, I find it momentarily pleasing when it happens) or even attach all that meaning to it, and so the fact that the current equipment renders the process as unceremonious, functional and utilitarian makes everything in the room just what it should be: perfectly forgettable. I think baking the brownies is gross, and so now that we have mastered our bathroom thrones we can move onto a prettier stage in human evolution: the one where we forget about our logs.
On the other hand, perhaps innovation in the bathroom should continue. I know there are plenty of embarassing things that happen in public bathrooms. Urinal separators could stand some improvement, and toilet paper dispensers need to be more automated and less frustrating when the roll runs out. I know it's really agonizing when you have been sitting there for ten minutes, you are missing a meeting or are in the middle of an exam, you have one sheet of two ply left to split among your cheeks, and you can't get the f-ing next roll to come down so you can squeegee your butt and skidaddle. Perhaps someone can innovate on noise blockers so someone with gastrointestinal stress won't have to wait till everyone who heard their noise pollution(or smelled their olefactory pollution) to leave before exiting stage front out of the stall and washing their hands. Boy those are some awkward moments
But one thing's for sure: whoever comes up with a successful, widely applicable way to improve bathroom technology is a genius. And to that person: please come along soon and making sinking the Bismarck even more enjoyable.
I have to take a crap.
What if it crashes? (Score:2, Funny)
(Brown Shit of Death)
it's weird (Score:2)
I live in a town that is 80% Portuguese and so many homes have bidets in them. You don't need a seat that will only allow wate
Go to Japan sometime (Score:3, Informative)
Most everything is high-tech, including the john. That is if you've got a western-style toilet. Many of the nice places automatically turn on a seat warmer and exhaust fan as soon as you sit down, and there are a number of buttons there which spray jets of water at your anus to wash it, and some others that I'm afraid to try... However, if you have one of them Japanese-style toilets [asahi-net.or.jp], God help you if you need to take a dump...
What, no "iLoo" reference? (Score:2)
Oh, my Lord...it's the iLoo... (Score:2)
What WON'T they computerize these days?
Computers in the bathroom.. (Score:2, Funny)
Sorry, couldn't resist!
Uhhmmm... (Score:2)
It's my preferred way of reading
bwahahahahahaha!
eToilet? 7 years late .. (The Onion) (Score:2)
From Palo Alto in 1999.... ""Early e-toilets forced users to keep a lot of windows open, so e-dumpers lacked the kind of privacy you want while doing your business," said designer Peter Cheng, a self-described "whiz kid"
I see them all the time in Tokyo (Score:4, Informative)
I've come to find that these are actually quite common here too.. see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilets_in_Japan [wikipedia.org]
Shitting iPods (Score:3, Funny)
Washing wiping. Anyday. In Asia. (Score:3, Insightful)
Most Asians consider wiping with paper not hygenic enough. Must wash with liberal quantities of water to be clean and to feel clean. In India and Middle East the recent toilets have a simple non-digital non-electronic bidet like attachment. It dispenses a horizontal stream of water from behind. In India it is quite common to see a hand shower attachement next to the flush tank.
Only left hand should be used for washing. So the left hand is considered to be unclean and it is considered very disrespectful to give/accept something from someone using the left hand, in the Middle East and India.
Re:Hold on, I'm expecting a fax.... (Score:5, Insightful)
We grow older. In time even the simplest of things become more difficult. The paperless, self-cleaning, toilet begins to look pretty good when the alternative is "assisted living" or nursing home care.
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You could make it into a game, have a xbox style controller, a small screen with a crosshair, and computer imagery would replace the brown star with a black hole, where aliens come out and you have to kill kill KILL HAAahaaa.... sorry, a little carried away there... and then of cause, different difficulty levels can be achieved through eating slightly rotten veg.
Then you can use it to get kids to eat their dinner, "if you do