Law of Unintended Consequences Strikes Grocers 697
netbuzz writes "The law of unintended consequences is taking a chomp out of grocery chain profits as more stores transition from human clerks to self-service checkout technology, thus reducing the time shoppers spend in line and under the temptation of impulse items. That's the upshot of research being released tomorrow by IHL Consulting Group in Franklin, Tenn., which provides market analysis to the retail industry and its IT vendors."
My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:5, Funny)
However, I refuse to use self-checkout if I have to wait behind any customers. The cashier lanes are always faster, even when they have a line. I can't believe how stupid most people become once they enter the self-checkout lanes. It's scan-scan-swipe, people; in-and-out in about 45 seconds or less; how frickin' hard is that to understand?!? I'm not talking about the people who get stalled because their credit card was rejected, I'm talking about the ones who have to stop and read the full screen after scanning every damn packet of washers in their cart; or who don't seem to understand that the barcodes have to be presented to the lasers, and that no matter how long you stare at a barcode, the scanner won't pick it up. Morons.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Absolutely... (Score:5, Funny)
And I'm still waiting to recieve my paycheck for my part-time job as a bag-boy and cashier...
It's not a xenophobic thing. It's a "Those fucking things never work right" thing.
They'll just add more machines to distract/amuse (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps I should patent this and make a bundle
Solution: Take a Cue from Vegas (Score:5, Funny)
*Fry's Electronics already uses this technique.
They are missing the human touch ... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Condoms and Twinkies (Score:5, Funny)
Re:unpaid labor... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:3, Funny)
I'm always the person who messes up in the self-checkout line.
I'm the one who presses the Spanish language button by mistake instead of the English. No big deal; but I don't know any Spanish. I'm learning grocery line Spanish, though.
I'm the one who has a jar with 300 pennies that I'm feeding into the coin slot one at a time because I don't want to have to pay a 15% penality at the coin counting machine.
I'm the one who can't tell the difference between the different types of lettuce, press the wrong type, get overcharged, and insist that the cashier void just that one item.
I'm the one who buys one six-pack of soda pop and ends up running one can through the scanner six times, get overcharged, and insist that the cashier void just those six items.
I'm the one who doesn't know the difference between a credit card and a debit card.
Now, don't you'all just hate me?
Up-Sell X80 Autmoted Checking Machine (Score:5, Funny)
Consumer: (Scans taco mix)
X80: "Ah, Taco Mix, very nice, I noticed that you seem to have chosen the generic taco mix, are you sure you have thought this through?"
C: (Selects "yes")
X80: "Have you given much thought to the consequences involved in buying generic taco mix? What will your children say?"
C: (Selects "I don't have any children")
X80: "Ah, I see, single guy, living it up, not too concerned about the quality of your taco mix. Are you in a relationship?"
C: (Selects "Not really, Girls don't like me very much")
X80: "I am sorry to hear that sir, it probably makes you feel pretty bad at night, trouble sleeping?"
C: (Selects "Yeah, some times my mind wanders at night")
X80: "How about some tylenol PM? Also, I would like to recommend this issue of Maxim, it has some great advice on picking up women in the clubs, and also some great pictures to jack off to, you know, if things are a bit slow to start"
C: (Selects "OK")
X80: "Great Sir! I'd say this is probably working out to be one of the better shopping experiences you have had recently. Not going to want to make a mess out of that magazine though.... Tisues?"
C: (Selects "Absolutely! I want the ones with lotion.") (Then mumbles to himself) "This thing is great, so much less embarrasing than dealing with those pretty young checkout ladies."
X80: "Your additional Items will be here in one moment"
Beautiful Checkout Assistant: "Hi... uh... this is your girly mag, and tissues for masturbation sir... and here is the tylenol... so your depressed ass can get to sleep at night... you are a pretty sick person, you know that?"
C: "..."
X80: "Women can be pretty damn cruel, don't you think sir? How about a rope?"
C: (Selects "no thanks, get me out of here")
Re:Your BLAME is Misplaced (Score:5, Funny)
The proper phrase you're looking for is: automated ATM teller machines.
Did we lose a war? (Score:4, Funny)
If we ever conquer Iraq, I hope someone puts self checkout lines in their supermarkets. Then they will know what slavery really is.
PLEASE SEE EMPLOYEE FOR ASSITANCE (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Solution: Take a Cue from Vegas (Score:4, Funny)
Re:They are missing the human touch ... (Score:5, Funny)
One day, while buying an oversized cucumber, I realized it was flirting me the second time asked me to put the item in the bag. I took the plunge and tried to take it out, but the machine remained unmoved. When I inserted my membership card, she had an exception. Apparently I wasn't endowed with enough capital for her as I was denied and discarded.
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Your BLAME is Misplaced (Score:3, Funny)
K.
Rarely (Score:5, Funny)
You know, just for future reference.
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:5, Funny)
Good ol' America!
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:3, Funny)
You know, those are great nipple clamps...
Home Depot is a deviant's best friend - I'm sure you know that already. It doesn't take a genius to figue out what a couple is up to when they come up to the counter (giggling sometimes) with 50 feet of cotton rope, a 1/2" wooden rod and assorted short lengths of chain...
Re:Your BLAME is Misplaced (Score:1, Funny)
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:3, Funny)
Whoa, those are really long lines! At least here, the lines stay on the mainland.
*throws 'Hint: aisles' and ducks*
Amen brother! We need a special lane (Score:5, Funny)
I tend to go grocery shopping once every other day, sometimes daily. It's a habt I got into last year and living in Germany has only reinforced it. I buy a few fresh items, a drink or two, and some essentials (razors, soap, lube etc.). I very rarely have any more than a shopping basket full, I usually can carry what I bought in my hands.
When I get to the register I already have my cash or my credit card out. I've been paying for things at stores since I was 5, I don't see how people can act surprised (watch them, they do) when the cashier gets done zapping things and asks for some form of payment.
Let me through. It isn't a personal ego thing, I'm simply going to zip right through the line and be on my way. Its common courtesy.
On a related note, Wal-Mart shoppers in Northeast Ohio. If you see a man walking to the register and he is carrying a pack of razorblades, 2 boxes of roundnose
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:5, Funny)
All right, dinner and a show!
NEEDED - 'new shopper' lines vs 'experienced' (Score:4, Funny)
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:5, Funny)
This should be:
unzip && strip && touch && finger & mount && ( ( fsck && more && yes ) ; umount ) ; sleep
When the next step depends on the success of the previous step, you must check the return value of that previous step. Otherwise your code will behave erraneously and possibly even make the end user switch providers.
Re:Amen brother! We need a special lane (Score:5, Funny)
Odd group of "necessities" there...
You weren't perhaps an inmate in the German prison system, were you?
They'll fix it (Score:3, Funny)
Don't worry, soon you'll be waiting forever in line just to go through the self-service checkout
Re:They don't mention (Score:3, Funny)
That's one of the more absurd tips I've ever heard.
At the current spot exchange rate, 116 yen per USD, I stand to save a MAXIMUM of 14% (1/1.16) by using Yen coins in place of pennies.
Not to mention the fact that, for purchases larger than, say, a pack of gum, the opportunity cost of time spent on line feeding coins into the slot quickly eats up any gains I may have enjoyed in the transaction.
Here's a better tip:
The 1AED coin (United Arab Emirates) is exactly the same size as the US quarter dollar. However, it's worth 10% more than the US quarter, so this trick only works in automated grocers in Dubai. Good luck!
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:2, Funny)
I now have a social life.
Thankyou,
Signed, Slashdot dork
Parent's Basement
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:2, Funny)
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:3, Funny)
Re:My statistical sampling of "one" matches theirs (Score:4, Funny)
"There sure are a lot of people buying nothing but aluminum foil"